The Wait: A Journey of Hope and Patience for Intended Parents

By Parham Zar Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI)

For many intended parents, deciding to grow their family through surrogacy is not a simple or straightforward decision. It is a path often taken after years of longing, countless setbacks, and an unshakable belief that love can build a family, even in the face of adversity.

Once the decision is made, there is an incredible sense of hope—an open-hearted optimism that finally, this is the way forward. But along with hope comes an emotion few expect to wrestle with: waiting.

Waiting for the perfect match.

As someone who has spent decades guiding intended parents through this journey, I often liken this period to standing on the edge of a vast ocean, knowing that somewhere, out there, a ship is heading toward you. You may not see its sails yet, but you trust in the horizon, in the promise of something extraordinary.

But waiting is rarely easy.

For many intended parents, this phase feels like an emotional paradox. There is excitement and anticipation, yet also an undercurrent of uncertainty. They’ve taken a leap of faith into a process filled with unknowns—questions about timing, compatibility, and whether their story will align with the surrogate’s.

And this isn’t just about logistics; it’s deeply personal. Finding the right surrogate is not just a checkbox on a to-do list. It’s about connection. Trust. Chemistry. Intended parents are not simply looking for someone who can carry their child. They’re searching for a partner in one of the most profound journeys of their lives.

It’s the little things that often strike a chord during the matching process. A surrogate’s warmth during a conversation. The way she talks about her own children. Shared values or a simple moment of laughter during a meeting. These are the threads that begin to weave a story of trust and mutual respect.

But as the days stretch into weeks—or sometimes months—it’s easy for worry to creep in. Will we find her? Is there someone out there who will understand how much this means to us?

To those waiting, I always say this: The right match will come, and when it does, you will understand why it had to take the time it did. The universe has a way of aligning people whose journeys were meant to intersect, even when the process feels uncertain.

The wait, while difficult, is also a time of growth. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what brought you here—to honor your journey and prepare for the immense joy and responsibility that lies ahead. I encourage intended parents to use this time to envision the family they’re building and to trust in the care and diligence of the surrogacy team working alongside them.

And when that perfect match finally happens? The moment when you meet the woman who will help bring your child into the world? It’s like the sun breaking through a long stretch of clouds. It’s hope realized, a partnership born from trust and shared dreams.

So, to all the intended parents out there waiting: I see you. I feel the depth of your longing and the weight of your patience. Your wait is not in vain. It’s part of the beautiful, winding road that leads to the family you’ve always dreamed of.

And when that day comes—when your match is found, and your journey truly begins—you’ll look back on this time and understand that every step, even the waiting, was worth it.

Because family is worth everything.

Parham Zar Founder, Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI)