Vulnerable in a time of vulnerability

Vulnerable in a time of vulnerability

The Friday before The Lifeline Bookfest in Brisbane I met with my Volunteer Experience Team to go over all our plans for coordinating the effort of over 400 volunteers, to talk about the long days and hard work ahead and how important it was that we support each other and “have each other’s backs”. Coordinating a team of 400 + volunteers doing 1,000 different shifts is a mammoth task but our team always look forward to it and always rise to the challenge.

At that meeting I sat there admiring the team and felt immensely proud of this team of amazing individuals who harness the power of volunteering.

A few hours later I was on my way to hospital with severe abdominal pain. As the doctors informed me that I had appendicitis and the old appendix had to come out my instant reaction internally was “But what about Bookfest? The Team? The Volunteers?”

Of course The Bookfest went on without me. 400 people contributed close to 5,000 volunteer hours over the 9 days and my team were absolute champions! Run off their feet they even found the time to send me a gift and card! Precious money was raised for our Crisis Support Line for people in crisis. Volunteers helped in their hundreds. The public came out in their thousands.

When you build trust in your team you can always trust your team to do a great job. Trust is earned. Leadership was never meant to be easy but treating your team as a unique set of individuals with various skills and talents and you facilitating the growth and blossoming of those talents are part of the leadership journey.

A few days after my medical adventure as I was convalescing at home a strange thing happened. Maybe it is a common thing for people after undergoing surgery. ?I haven’t googled it so as to keep this story as fresh and authentic.

Suddenly I felt incredibly vulnerable. Despite being surrounded by the love of family and support of friends the vulnerability I felt was palpable. I tried to reason with myself. This was no major surgery. This was no life and death situation. What did the vulnerability feel like? There was a lot of introspection on my own mortality. I felt the vulnerability of getting older. If something like this could strike out of the blue – then what else could happen? Where had my consciousness gone when I was unconscious? Being a philosopher wasn’t helping me in my thinking process. I thought of those who do not have my privilege. Those in far worse and even tragic circumstances. People in pain. People reaching out because they are in crisis and on it went.

Then I remembered doing a Brene Brown inspired course called Dare to lead and remembered the words about leaning into vulnerability. Being your authentic self. As Brene states

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”

So I lent in a little to learn a lot.

When I was absolutely helpless I was under the care of the most caring nurses and doctors at The Wesley Hospital. I loved and appreciated that every worker from orderly to cleaner whom I came across treated me as a human.

My team did a great job and showed me they cared. No leader asks for teams to demonstrate they care but a good team is a team that cares for their fellow member. We set each other up for success.

And while I had, I thought, understood the term “leaning into your vulnerability” theoretically before, during those 2 or 3 days of introspection I truly understood it.

We are all vulnerable. Most of us are doing our best. Some of us doing well. Some of us are not OK. And I realise that I have so much to learn from others. So much to learn from the experiences life present. And that vulnerability is part of the human condition.

Thanks team!