The Vulnerable Space In Between

What have you outgrown? It may be a belief, a role, a friend, a company, or a service. It can be terrifying to be that hermit crab needing a new home.

However, it is natural to shed what no longer serves you.

A hermit crab will need to find a new home when it has grown too large for its current one. When together on a beach and a large shell becomes available, hermit crabs create a “vacancy line” and line up by size to do a shell swap with other crabs. The crab who best fits a new shell gets it, while the rest of the crabs swap one by one, upgrading or changing out their new homes to give themselves some new space.

(It sounds a bit like the hiring process, doesn’t it? Who is the best fit for the role? Hire internally, and suddenly, there is a conga line of staff changes and opportunities for growth.)

Other animals, like snakes, also shed their skin to grow larger or for hormonal changes, thus providing a roomier and healthier environment. Snakes also shed their skin to get rid of parasites. Young snakes shed more often than older snakes. It is a process that can take time, and both the hermit crab and the snake are more vulnerable during it. A hermit crab needs protection from the sun and predators, while a snake needs time to get out of its old skin and allow its eye caps to shed fully otherwise, it can become blind.

Relating this all to leadership, it takes courage to make real change, especially as it is a vulnerable process. Ask yourself, though, if you or your business will be healthier and grow better if you do? Other questions to uncover what you may have outgrown:

• What roles might best serve you right now?
• What change might you make that will open new opportunities for you?
• What might you be doing or offering that no longer serves you?
• What friends, partners, and communities don’t align with your current values, and which ones do?
• What do you need to live more fully?
• What new place, people, offering, or service would feel like a new home?

I recently talked with a coaching client about changes like this — a shedding of the past, beliefs, and friendships that no longer serve a current life. There are deep and brave places to go when asking these questions because sometimes, the new big shell hasn’t washed up on the beach before us. Sometimes, we need to seek it out, and when we find it, we must trust the vulnerable moment in between old safety and new safety — and have the courage to believe that safety really is on the other side.

All of a sudden, in the new shell, though, not only are you safe, you have room to breathe, a fresh start, and freedom. Yet, know that you’ll still be growing and shedding. The more you do it, the more comfortable you become with vulnerability and discomfort.

“...life becomes a living of who we are until that form of self can no longer hold us..."

Mark Nepo, Book of Awakening

Need support discovering your new shell or getting to that naked, vulnerable place in between? Reach out. I’d love to talk and see if coaching is right for you. [email protected] or DM me here on LinkedIn.

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