The Vulnerable Illusionist

" Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.Vulnerability is the birth place of innovation, creativity and change” Brene Brown 

Reality check. According to the dictionary, it is an “occasion at which one is reminded of the state of things in the real world”. Interesting thing to note that the dictionary states it as an “occasion” and shows you the “real world”. My vantage point is that it suggests that humans are not only in a state of illusion most of the time. They like to be in this state. 

Reality check is the hard reality many of us shade ourselves from. Why? Because there is one emotion we do not want any partake in. It is Emotional Pain. We shield ourselves from this strange phenomenon that only breaks hearts, heightens anger and breaks faith in the human kind. 

Many times the illusion we tend to stay in, is our safety mechanism to not see reality as it is. This turning away, or what I call the “ostrich-sticking-its-face-in-the-sand syndrome” and hoping for a better tomorrow, without efforts ensued, is one of the most ignorant sides of our being. Face it. We have all been there. Better to ignore than accept. Better to stay in our “fantasy land” than open our eyes and see the truth. No matter how painful. Who wants to deal with that pain onslaught? 

All of us have witnessed some kind of pain in our lives, and might in the future. It is inevitable. However, the elongation of suffering experienced is in our control.Psychologists have discovered that when we fight pain; judge it, try to push it away, avoid it or ignore it, it actually triggers other painful emotions, resulting in one thing. More Emotional Pain. Your blind sight to it only increases it!

In fact the brain reactions to both physical and emotional pain trigger the same sensory part of its components. It is in essence, almost the same thing to the body. Emotional pain is a growing epidemic, and our natural reaction to it, is only making it worse. 

The increasing sense of this emotional pain is related to two essential things:-

? Not having a firm hold on reality

? Covering yourself from being vulnerable to painful emotions

I will write another article on the reality check aspect, but lets this time round, talk about vulnerability. 

We are usually taught that to be tough is all about ignoring emotions, as they make you weak and vulnerable to pain. I think otherwise. The way to having a wholesome life is through experience, whether good or bad. There are two sides to a coin and each experience has its own package of teachings and wisdom. If you only see one side, and you cut yourself off from other teachings. 

Now don’t get me wrong here. Wearing your heart on your sleeve has nothing related to being ignorant of your surroundings or being taken for a ride by others. It is all about how you react to it. 

The challenge lies in discerning what beliefs no longer serve you and understanding that, while you have emotions and deep feelings, you are not these emotions or feelings. They are only there to help guide your experiences in life. 

So here is my take on how we can be more courageous and whole-hearted. Being vulnerable to accepting imperfections in yourself and in life, is where your true meaning is. It is the birthplace of joy and more happiness. Resent this and become the fear you are running away from. 

Opening your eyes to the painful reality of certain emotions is the only way you will find the hidden strength within. It is truly an empowering experience.

? Being Vulnerable is not a weakness. Its an asset!

Human beings crave to have a strong connection, whether inward or outward. You have been born as ones who can truly stand the test of tides. No matter how much we try and show outer strength, deep inside we all crave a sense of belonging and happiness . This want is what feeds our emotions, both positive and negative. The ability to feel connected is why we really are here. To connect more, become more vulnerable. Open yourself to the mystery and beauty of experiences. They will prepare you for your higher goals in life. 

? Your core strength lies in acceptance and moving on 

When we try and run from feelings of what has caused us pain and despair, it is another way of not accepting the reality of circumstances. To take a step back, accept this change and feel the effect, is where your true courage will come out. The need to control and be in the illusion of what could go wrong, is what will take you away from this strength waiting to be tapped in. 

? You cannot numb selective emotions 

Researchers suggest interesting aspects of emotions. You cannot numb them. You cannot numb despair, loneliness, disconnect and the likes and expect to only feel happiness, joy and love. If you do, you eliminate your chances to feel the positive emotions. Any escapism culture, breeds more nuisance and temporary reliefs. No permanent benefits. Being vulnerable to both sides of the story helps you groom inner strength 

? Own your story and love yourself!

The best way to get rid of a lot of unknown fears is to tell yourself that yes, you are worthy of love and belonging. Often we do things out of fear and shame of not being accepted or thinking we are not good enough. These are illusions. Own your fantastic story and blame no one but yourself if things go wrong. Blaming others is another way to have emotional discharge. It has nothing to do with healing and accepting. Own your story. Own your future.

? You are enough for yourself

Approach life with the peace and calm that you are a whole person within. You are worthy of life and all its experiences. You are worthy of special blessings to come your way. Start listening more and start being kind to yourself and others around you. We are imperfect beings trying to find our way. 

Real success to me lies on the frontiers of being realistic, seeing things as they are and being vulnerable to experiences.  These are trying times, and we all face strings of positive and negative experiences. 

I have a story to share with you, told to me by a very wise person, that gives a great sense of comfort and courage in such states. It gives me the ability to move beyond the present state and keep an eye on the horizon. 

There lived a king in some Middle Eastern land who was continuously torn between happiness and despondency. The slightest thing would cause him great upset or provoke an intense reaction and his happiness would quickly turn into disappointment and despair. A time came when the king finally got tired of himself and of his life so he began to seek a way out. He sent for a wise man who lived in the kingdom who was reputed and enlightened. When the wise man arrived, the king said to him, “I want to be like you. Can you give me something that will bring balance, serenity and wisdom into my life? I will pay any price you ask.

The wise man said, “I may be able to help you but the price is so great that your entire kingdom would not be sufficient payment for it. Therefore it will be a gift to you if you will honor it.” The king gave his assurances and the wise man left. A few weeks later, he returned and handed the king an ornate box carved in jade. The king opened the box and found a simple gold ring inside. Some letters were inscribed on the ring. The inscription read: This, too, shall pass. “What is the meaning of this?” asked the king. The wise man replied, “Wear this ring always. Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, touch this ring and read the inscription. That way, you will always be at peace.”

 This too shall pass .

Remember, wisdom replaces where pain has been. All you have to do is accept and open yourself to it. 

You will get through this. Your courage will shine through. Have faith. Open yourself to the strength within. Your vulnerability is the birth place of your true courage and wisdom.