Vulnerability: Strength or Weakness?

Does vulnerability come from a position of strength or weakness?

I am finally joining the rest of the world and began watching Suits.? Whether or not you know the show, its title is a pretty good indicator of the premise: people in suits, working in suits, disputing suits as lawyers and bankers, all while wearing [very expensive] suits!?

But here’s a line I picked up on that made me go Hmmmm……

“Vulnerability comes from a position of weakness”.?

According to Wikipedia, vulnerability is “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.”

Cambridge dictionary defines vulnerability as the quality of being vulnerable, able to be easily hurt, influenced, or attacked.

How true is this??

Not too long ago (clearly in 2011 when Suits began) it was believed that if you shared your feelings or emotions, you would be perceived as incapable, weak, timid, or exposed.? This was particularly true in business; corporations were the keystone to this belief.?

A person who showed emotion or shared “how they felt” were outcasts or seen as “too emotional” and while women were more readily defined by this, for men this was the equivalent of career suicide.?? Being too emotional meant that you did not have the acumen to be successful and most certainly couldn’t lead others. Leaders influence and lead so who would want to follow someone that was weak and timid?? Why would someone want to learn from a person who wore their heart on their sleeve?? Aligning yourself with someone who shares how they feel or brings passion and raw enthusiasm into a meeting is setting yourself up for failure!?

Or is it?

Vulnerability is the state of being open and honest about our emotions, thoughts, and experiences, especially when they involve our fears, insecurities, or mistakes. It's about dropping the mask we often wear to appear strong and flawless and revealing our true selves, imperfections, and all.

The Importance of Vulnerability

1. Authentic Connections: Vulnerability is the key to forging deep, meaningful connections with others. When we share our vulnerabilities, we invite others to do the same, creating bonds based on authenticity and mutual understanding.

2. Personal Growth: Acknowledging our vulnerabilities is the first step toward personal growth. It allows us to confront our fears and insecurities, learn from our mistakes, and evolve into better versions of ourselves.

3. Empathy and Compassion: Vulnerability fosters empathy and compassion. When we see others' vulnerability, we are more likely to empathize with their struggles, making us kinder and more compassionate individuals.

4. Resilience: Surprisingly, embracing vulnerability can make us more resilient. When we acknowledge our vulnerabilities, we gain a clearer perspective on our challenges and develop the inner strength to face them head-on.

So how do we embrace Vulnerability in ourselves and others?

1. Self-Acceptance: Start by accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all. Recognize that perfection is an unattainable goal, and that your vulnerabilities are part of what makes you human. Picture yourself as a 5-year-old!

2. Open Communication: Practice open and honest communication with others. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, even if it makes you uncomfortable at first. Encourage others to do the same by being a good listener. Picture others as 5-year-olds! Compassion flows more readily when you see the other person as a vulnerable child (not whatever they might seem to you in the present).

3. Learn from Mistakes: Instead of hiding your mistakes, acknowledge them and view them as opportunities for growth. Mistakes are a natural part of life, and they often lead to valuable lessons.

AKA Fall on the Sword – you’ll learn from it, and it will show others you are capable of accountability and humility.?

4. Set Boundaries: While vulnerability is important, it's also crucial to set boundaries to protect yourself from harm. Not everyone deserves to see your vulnerabilities, so choose your confidants wisely. Don’t let others violate your boundaries – big topic for another article. ?I spend a lot of time on this topic with clients stemming from values. Once someone realizes that values and boundaries intersect, they can build deeper, more meaningful relationships.

In summary: In a world that often celebrates strength and perfection, it's important to remember that vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of immense strength and growth. By embracing our vulnerabilities, we can cultivate authentic connections, foster personal growth, and become more compassionate individuals.

Here's an Experiment: The next time you are faced with a challenge involving others, where you have the ability to flex your vulnerability muscle, see what happens when you drop the mask, share your imperfections, and have an exchange on a deeper, more authentic level. Take a topic that, while meaningful to both might be contradictory, and start with a question: What about this is important for you? That one little question will set you on a course of discovery that will lean into sharing one another’s vulnerabilities in a positive, impactful way.

LMK how it goes!

Are you interested in building Mental Fitness to help you remove the obstacles getting in the way of achieving your personal and professional goals? Please send me a message or visit my website!

https://lanakcoaching.com/

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