Vol.2 The Pretzel

Getting Twisted (and untwisted)

I love a good pretzel. Ok, if I’m being honest, I love ANY pretzel. There's just something about that perfect mix of soft with a crusty exterior, hot to warm to cool, the crunch of the salt between my teeth (hope my medical doctor doesn't read this), and that irresistible smell that instantly transports me to a happy childhood memory.

I don’t simply eat the pretzel,?that would be a travesty. I savor each and every bite, filling all five of my senses. The way it looks, smells, feels in my hands (I love to play with the salt), the sound - it's an experience.

And here's the thing - eating a pretzel isn't just about satisfying my physical hunger. It's almost like meditation (or medication LOL) for me, a way to tap into my sixth sense and practice mindfulness. I break off each bite with intention, imagining the knots in my mind unraveling (like the physical breaking apart of the pretzel). then pop the broken bits into my mouth allowing the tension to melt away.

Maybe it's not the healthiest coping mechanism, but hey, it works for me! ??

The 'Change Coaching' Encounter - Getting Twisted

Coaching (and mentoring) is a big part of my existence and my personal mission to give back. Recently, during one such coaching encounter, I was interacting with a business unit leader that’s embarking on the 'seemingly impossible' journey of bringing a large change to their organizational unit. This change will have a significant impact on daily operations.

I consider this individual to be a very highly competent leader, thinker, communicator, (you know the type, someone that just gets it). We've talked about strategy and execution when it comes to this need for change, and also the need to look beyond Change Management templates and frameworks, laying the foundation for success.

check, check, check - no problem! Easy right??Until it’s not (or pretzel knot, LOL)

All that coaching sounded great until the moment that always comes (the smack in the face of reality), the dreaded human interaction part.

The person went on to tell me an interesting story, although prepared for resistance, there was an admission to not really understanding the impact it would have on them personally. Oh sure, we spoke of this, yet somehow, experiencing an event is far different than just talking about it.

Even the most accomplished and confident among us get twisted into knots.

This leader spoke with one individual who clearly stated, “I've worked here for X number of years and trust me, this isn’t going to work”.

During the course of the day, things got MUCH worse, this leader had the same story played out by no less than five or six different people (no really, that’s true), even told me that it was "almost as if there was some script that people were following" – one person after another.

Getting twisted into a knot is the easy part – getting untwisted is the challenge (heavy sigh, ugh ??)

The leader met the first encounter with intrigue and eager curiosity, “why not?” and “how can you help this?”. As the day went on, and people repeated the same story, the mood changed from curiosity to frustration, then ultimately to despair.

There was even an admission of their response devolving into verbal and visual cues that were not exactly productive. Ultimately twisting this person into a tight knot (like a pretzel without all the good taste and happy memories).

It seems so logical on paper, follow a plan, follow the format, follow the script, except it didn't work. It was supposed to work, why didn't it work?

Warning - the following section may quite helpful

Resistance is a good thing, expertly navigating the knots, twists and turns is the learned skill part of Change Management.

Practical advice:

1. Breathe - find your center. You are seeing/experiencing 0.000251% of the person's life, their frustration got them here, being frustrated in response isn't helpful.
2. Build a bridge - find a way to connect, find common ground.
3. Listen - no, not the 'active listening' bit that is overused and overinflated, I'm taking about the real listening part with your heart-mind-and-body (this is a skill - build it!). There's little chance in the listening department with both people are twisted in knots.
4. Build trust - (don't expect it) you are both human reaching in very normal ways to very normal situations. 'What' you say and 'how you say it' really does matter.
5. Untwist with intentionality - I personally lie on my floor (arms extended outward), take a deep breath, and stare at the ceiling. Yes, 2-3 minutes between calls is quite amazing. Find your personal way to untwist that brain of your, this is one small example.

(Seeking deeper guidance and answers here? - well, I guess you'll have to contact me for more information ??)

The 'Human" Tax of Change

Change is a taxable commodity, one the requires the tax to be paid by humans. The taxable part is how people handle resistance to change.

For leaders, this often results in the shaking of confidence (to the core), anger in people around them, questioning one's leadership style, frustration, etc. (that once soft pretzel is now turning hard and crusty – almost to the point of being brittle and at risk of falling apart).

I've seen many handle this very well, until the inevitable moment when they don't.

(queue the “existential crisis music” here)

Being Human

Leaders are human, let me repeat that, leaders are human. Being human means, we take things home with us, we internalize (it’s what we do and 100% normal, yes NORMAL). We're hardwired to deal with emotions, and they can stop us in our tracks (if we let them). The impact is real, whether we admit it or not (knot).

After listening to the tale of woe, my first question was, “what are you doing to take care of yourself in this process?”

(I won't go into the details here, just know that I didn't simply go into problem solving mode and stick to the Change Management coaching script, I engaged this person as a human being - FIRST).

Throughout my career, I've personally witnessed this type of frustration spill over into personal life impacting sleep, social relations, family dynamics, health problems, and going to very (dysfunctional) dark places. How can we help others when we ourselves are not in a good place?

Much to my sorrow, I’ve witnessed this play out far too many times, some with very unfortunate consequences.

'Change' Support

There's an old joke that every therapist has a therapist (but in actuality, shhhhh don't tell anyone), it's not a joke. Everyone in the 'helping professions' needs support, Change Managers and ANY person leading change ARE in the ‘helping profession’.

Change managers are not magicians and 'change' isn't a solitary activity.

Although many organizations have Change Management groups, in one form or another, where do leaders turn for guidance and help? Help in the untwisting of?that knot?

Working in the Change Management field on a global scale, I often encounter, “We have that covered” and “We have Change Management and don’t need help” and “We have our own Change Management Team”- some version of “We Got this” – but do they? Really?

Change Team Reality (Based on Global Client Observations)

Here’s the reality based on actual client interactions:

1) 'Change' teams are struggling too, appearances can be very deceiving

2) Organizations may have their own 'Change' program and definition, but far too often, and ironically, they're not being followed

3) There's misalignment and misunderstanding with the term “Change Management” and it causes problems

4) People (leaders) need help, guidance, and 'Change' support

Change comes at a price. The impact to the organization is real, and so is the impact to the humans paying the Change Tax. There's much written about the impact of change on the customers, what happens inside a company impacts the customers on the outside (blah, blah).

Far less is written about the change tax that leaders and agents of change must pay along the way.

The amount of tax paid is both an organizational and personal choice. Is 'Change' really effective if the people involved are burned out, seek alternate employment, quiet quitting (suffering in silence), or navigate stress health related issues?

Was the planned 'change' successful just because nobody's complaining? Organizations rejoice! YAY THE 'CHANGE' WORKED!!!

(But did it really? and What was the cost?)

Let’s a conversation about how the SoftwareOne Change Management team can be that Change coach, that voice of reason, that safe place (and safe harbor) to have meaningful dialogue about making a lasting (and sustainable) impact.

There’s a huge disconnect between Change Management theory, academics vs. the practical application of change techniques.

Change extends far beyond communications and training.

Some organizations do this extremely well, some struggle in silence, and all need some form of help and support. Ultimately, every coach needs a coach.?

I recently spoke with a client who articulated this better than I could, “I can always hire somebody to fill out a Change Management plan form or create a training/communications template, what I can't find are people that can make meaningful connections with people to make change real, I need people that 'get it."

Let's talk about how the Change Team at SoftwareONE can help get your organization untwisted and, on the road, to lasting and successful change outcomes.

Back to my pretzel – here’s the real one (not the Bing AI version)

Thank you for reading and for your time. ~ Kevin

Response to a question received from a subscriber: "What's that logo supposed to represent?"

The origin story behind my logo is simple. I was contemplating the implications of Change Management (while trying to listen to a PPT presentation, yawn!), I grabbed a sketchbook and began doodling.

The circle part of the logo represents the human mind as a quantum computer (with infinite possibilities). However, the challenge lies in getting the body to take action. The small star in the lower right-hand corner of the circle symbolizes the portion of the brain that deals with resistance and fear, which is a critical factor to overcome in Change Management.

Effecting change requires attention to this small, seemingly insignificant detail. Even the smartest brains in the world can't make change happen without addressing human resistance and fear. Simply going through the motions robotically (without purpose and meaning) is also ineffective.

'Mind over matter' is great, except for when it's not.

One simple fear can take down that quantum brain of ours, stopping us in our tracks. The key to bringing about change is through directly addressing fears and resistance head-on. And that's the story.?

Does that answer your question? Please ping me if more is needed.

I love this topic, let's have a conversation.

~Kevin (a.k.a "The Cloud Therapist)

Please submit topics and questions for future volumes (I'm listening).

#changemanagement ?#SoftwareOne #ACM ?#BetterTogether ?#dobetter #Coaching