The Vitality of a Lighthouse

Stability is not living your life monotonously. Stability is the art of knowing that tomorrow will not change the course of your life as you know it. Stability is the picket fence home with the yard you would put your lemonade stand on. Growing up, I was accustomed to welcoming fragments of stability into my life, just to watch them be whisked away at the three-year expiry date.?

My arch nemesis is the word “new.” Everything new has brought me to my demise. It was my first year being double digits. I had my hair in tight curls from scott towels my mom helped tie into my hair last night. I looked as put together as possible because if I could control one thing, it would be me. My mom walked me into the building, which I would later find out was not the typical Zurich International School etiquette, but I’m grateful she did. I looked around at the nauseatingly green building, with pictures of smiling children plastered all over the tall walls. Such tall walls for a building to educate such small children. I took a breath. A breath I had taken six times before, at six different schools, at six different phases in my life. They swear this will be the last breath they’ll ever make me take. But this breath, it’s not a bad one. It’s a familiar one. It’s shaky and fearful, but it is a friend.?

That breath.?

Through your nose.

Out your mouth.

My lighthouse.?

So with a little squeeze of the hand and a hug from Mom, I hear the closing line, “Have a great first day Mia.”?

I wish I could describe the events and feelings I felt that day to you. Unfortunately, the specifics escape me now. All I remember, is that hug from my mom and the look of certainty on her face that I could get through this day. It gave me the strength to go on. I walked to class with my head held high and a determined look in my eyes. The tall walls no longer threatened me. The moment I let go of her hand, it was a reminder that, in life, we must learn to embrace new experiences and face the unknown with resilience. I learned that even in the moments where I had to be strong on my own, the love and support of a parent remained steadfast. When I think of stability, I think of my mom. The woman who I got my quick remarks from, my smile, and my ambition. The woman who gave up 30 years of hard work to embody continuity to two kids who do not always repay their dues. The good life to me has always been the moments after school, in the car with my mom, telling her every detail from the school day. The good life to me is knowing my mom will always be front row at my theater productions, laughing loudly at the actor's jokes so they don’t feel uncomfortable. The good life to me is the sense of stability she brings, providing an unconditional love that never changes, and I know it never will. I hope that I embody all that she ever wanted to be and that I can be that gift of stability to my future children as she is to me.?

The little constants.?

French toast on Sundays.

My mom yelling at me to clean my room.

The faint sound of my dad playing piano when I’m in my room.

E minor.?

G sharp.?

Smoothies.

The same recipe.?

Every

Single

Time.

I fear without these constants, I’d be a cesspool of experiences with no border.?

This is why stability is important.

Because without moments of stability

Who would I be?

So through it all, I relied on the constants of life. The little moments that every year, every day, I could rely on. Every summer, we went home. Home is where angry french-Canadians argue about the latest habs game. My Nonna’s home on Daniel Dony. Where my Nonna makes soup with mini meatballs every time I arrive. As my Nonna fills me in on all the neighborhood drama, this is my good life. My uncle argues with my dad in the kitchen, and for a second, they look like teenagers again. My mom fends off the backhanded compliments from her in-laws. Nonno sits at the TV in his designated lazy boy. The TV is at volume 100, and he still can’t hear it. It’s funny, though, because now, if it goes below 95, I find the silence deafening. Nonna always yells at him to wear his hearing aid; that day was no exception.?

Stability is like a lighthouse.

People undermine the vitality of a lighthouse.?

Staggering Stability.?

Stability is a stranger I am yet to be acquainted with.?

Time passes, and life moves on. My sister and I are on our phones a little more, wrinkles are blooming on my grandparent's skin, and my dad’s hair is becoming less ebony black and more frosty white. It is inevitable. Although, I find you never feel the magnitude of time’s speed until you return to a place where time seems to stand still for you. I’ve realized that time dances in mysterious rhythms, whispering secrets of fleeting moments. When you encounter people you only see once a year, the intricate tapestry of existence unravels, a reminder of the balance between constancy and transience. Amidst this paradox, I find solace in stability. Stability is a steady embrace. It’s a lighthouse guiding us through seas of change. Stability allows me to find joy in the passing moments, because it is an anchor in life's unpredictable currents. No matter what life throws at me, I know I can always go back to Daniel Dony, where the walls never change color, the TV is always blaring, and the meatball soup stays warm.?

By: Mia Da Silva Renna (age 16)