Visibility is a privilege

This past week I was in San Antonio, Texas.?

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And I'll be honest, I had mixed emotions about being in the state.?

But at the same time, I don't think you can write off the entire populace of a place.

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Let's be clear, I think what's going on in Texas from a legislation perspective, where state officials are holding the lives of human beings hostage to ideas that are ultimately anti-human, as well as anti-LGBTQ+ is fucking awful. But there are also so many people I love in Texas, many of whom I would call friends, and many of whom happen to be queer.?

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I was sitting in conversation with one of them on Tuesday night when the topic of visibility rose to the surface. Ultimately, we both agreed the most important action we can take, if we have the privilege to do so is to be as visible as possible. He, a gay, white man who lives in Texas, is starting to finally feel like he has the ability to do so.?

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Let's be clear, being out and gay in a conservative state or industry, leaves room for reaction and repercussions. However, we both know we have the ability to be visible and continue to have successful businesses and mostly safe lives. In doing so, our visibility makes it possible and hopefully safer for others to do the same.?

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I was thinking about this concept on the plane ride back to my home state of Washington when I happened to strike up a conversation with the passenger next to me. Because he was a white man in his 50s, outfitted in outdoor gear, I made some assumptions about who he was, because of where he was headed from.?

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Turns out, although he lives in San Antonio, he grew up in my home state, and was excited to return. He also had children here, one of which was a trans son who came out in 2016. He told me what a journey that had been for their family, and how:

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?”As an older white man, I will ever know what it was like to be living in this time, or experience the hardships of being a trans person, but?I’m doing my best to learn and be an ally.”

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And here's why that gave me so much hope.?

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Ultimately, all of us are given opportunities in our lives, to learn more and be better. To turn towards new concepts and new stories instead of turning away.

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My hope is that in this world, we'll all seek to understand each other more. Telling our stories, and the stories of others, allows us to do so.

In learning this man's story, I learned how much I had in common with him. Had I not been open to the conversation, I never would have known these things, and would have always written him off as a white man from Texas, probably even as part of the problem.?

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This is why I think if we have the platform and the privilege to do so, queer folks need to continue to share their stories, not just in June, but anytime they have the opportunity to do so.?

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Because visibility matters.?

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And hopefully can serve as a form of both solidarity and protection for the other people of our communities.?

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We've all had moments in our lives where we had to enter rooms where we didn't feel we belonged or like we were even invited to the conversation. But by showcasing our identities and stories, we are kicking down the door so anyone who feels called to step forward in the future can?follow us to the other side.

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- Madeline Reeves

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