Virtue and Character: The Power of Intangibles

I am lucky to have been inspired by many strong women. Among them, my mother has had a significant influence on my character. As some of you might know, we lost our father totally unexpectedly at a relatively young age, and our values were shaped by how we worked together with our mother to overcome the challenges we faced afterward.

My mother always taught us by sharing stories of people in the family that had great character. She has a story for almost every virtue. However, she never thought of herself as “smart” until the day she learned about Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence. I remember the day. She was reading a magazine that talked about the book. She said to me: “I always thought I was not intelligent, but now I realized that I have a lot of this type of Emotional Intelligence and therefore I might be smart after all.”

Not surprisingly, in her honor, more than twenty years later, I ended up studying emotional intelligence during my doctoral dissertation. More importantly, thanks to her, I started paying attention to intangibles such as values, virtues, and character. To this day, one of my favorite quotes is from the famous basketball coach John Wooden: “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

Embracing uncertainty and intangibles is not always easy. It can make us feel vulnerable. For example, a French mentor used to say that people tend to hide behind numbers and facts. As an engineer, I have always favored tangible facts myself. But, the more I studied, the more I became aware of my lack of knowledge and how intangibles matter. I also realized that learning techniques or hard skills is often less challenging than developing soft skills like emotional intelligence. The current pandemic is probably confirming that we have much less understanding or control of what we once thought we knew or had under control. Hopefully it will help humanize us and transform us for the better.

In closing, as I re-watched the movie Mulan, I was reminded again of the character’s four virtues: Loyalty, Bravery, Truth, and Devotion to Family. I came to realize that in moments of uncertainty (probably every moment we live), going back to our core, and letting our virtues and character drive behaviors and decisions can help. And we should remind ourselves that being fearful is normal and part of being “Brave”. It can inspire and energize us to continue the journey.

As always, I would be curious to hear your thoughts on virtue, character and on the power of intangibles. Does the above makes any sense? Do virtue/character and other intangibles really matter? How did you develop your own character? What is the difference (if any) between virtues and values and character? If you feel comfortable, share your story in the comments. Thanks in advance for joining the dialogue.