Virtually speaking (a few useful tips)

Quiz time…

Question A: How often have you walked out of a cinema (remember those days?) within 10 minutes of starting to watch the movie?

Question B: How often have you flicked to another channel within the same time, whilst watching at home?

I suspect the answer is higher for B than A and it underlines a dilemma many of us are facing now as remote workers – adapting to virtual communication.

As with the cinema, when you’re in a face-to-face meeting or sitting in a seminar room (like the scene above) it’s blatantly obvious when you exit the room. It’s a massive rejection for the person who’s speaking and a potential relationship-ending move for the one who bails.

But (and here’s a third question), how often have you bailed out on a Zoom call or webinar recently, whether that’s nipping off to make a cuppa or ending the meeting altogether? It’s pretty easy isn’t it?

Some of you may be seasoned pros when it comes to using remote channels of communication, but for many it’s a struggle - so here are a few tips gleaned from a variety of sources.

Intent matters

Dr Nick Morgan, one of America’s foremost communication experts, reminds us that the emotion and intent behind what we say matters most to our audience. You could say “Well done” in several ways, from heartfelt to sarcastic, and we would normally read that intent through vocal tone and body language.

Unfortunately, body language may be difficult or impossible to see online and the digital compression of our voice strips out a lot of the emotion from our delivery.

Therefore, it’s important to put more emphasis on our meaning, to ensure the audience gets the right message. Compensate for the flattening of your voice by adding more dynamics and musicality to your delivery.

Using the senses

The BBC asked several academics about the psychology of virtual communication and its relationship to the senses. Their advice for better online discussions…

Aural

Exercise the skill of ‘deep listening’, giving the speaker time to articulate their message. Show curiosity and a desire to fully understand their meaning and intent. Summarise it and ask for confirmation that you’re on the right lines. Aim for equal airtime too.

Visual

If you’re recording a video on your phone or computer, make sure you look at the camera and not the screen – people will pay more attention when you’ve established eye contact. Also, hide your self-view when you’re on a call; it’s a distraction when you can see yourself talking.

Kinaesthetic

This is one of the things we’re all missing right now, even a touch-averse nation like the UK! Virtual communication is a touch-free zone but the experts recommend we replace physical contact with a new set of gestures, like a hand held to the heart to show our feelings about something. Pretending to hand things to one another or even sharing a hugging gesture can create a feeling of synchronicity and connection. There are digital forms of gesturing too on Zoom!

Engage through storytelling

One of my LinkedIn contacts Jeremy Waite emphasises the power of storytelling to engage people online and retain their attention. When you’re speaking ‘into the void’ and getting precious little feedback it’s tempting to resort to a data-dump. However, the principles of good narrative still apply, putting the audience front and centre and keeping them stimulated through words, gestures and images.

The medium may have changed but the principles of psychology and communication remain the same. We’re all adapting! 

Andrew Thorp is a coach, trainer and consultant in the field of business communication. He works with companies both large and small; his mission is to help leaders become more confident and persuasive speakers and to humanise and 'storify' business communication.

Twitter @andrewthorp

Email: [email protected]