The Virtual Life

If you’re reading this email, that means two things have happened. One, it got past your spam firewall, and two, you have had occasion to connect with me. Maybe even meet in person. This landed you on my favorite distribution list!?

Here’s the big news. I am pleased to inform you of a recent move. After almost a full (and happy) decade at Jordan Knauff, I have joined a new firm, FOCUS Investment Banking. You may or may not have seen the recent press release. You can view it here. Onward and upward to bigger things! My updated contact info can be found below. Please do not hesitate to contact me for any reason. I hope to hear from you.?

Speaking of hearing, you’ll be hearing from me again. After a couple crazy years, we’ll get back into our usual happy hours and all manner of eclectic communication that you may or may not have grown to love. That will commence…well, now! With this email.?

I am now happily ensconced at an undisclosed location, in my new virtual office, replete with two massive computer screens, a squeaky office chair, and what I style my “auxiliary” office, where I have a fancy new laptop hooked up to do all those video chat things. You know, zoomers and teamsters and all that motherjazz. I call this auxiliary office “Bill Office South,” but you would probably call the same thing “dining room.” All the cool kids now do the video thing, so yeah, I succumb to the exquisite pressure applied by my peers. I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.?

The long-awaited 2nd edition of my venerable warhorse, Mergers & Acquisitions For Dummies, was released at the end of May, so don’t forget…I not only write about M&A, I do it, too! Being a world-famous author means I get all sorts of autograph requests, which is pretty neat, except that I have ruined screen after screen when people ask me to sign the electronic version. Ah, modern times.?

You’ll be happy to learn all your favorite characters were successfully teleported to my new virtual realm, so you’re apt to hear updates about our harried admin, the hair combing intern, Mr. Quills my comfort porcupine, and perhaps, if we get back to giving away tickets, GIMMIE!, our cantankerous but beloved ticket giveaway algorithm. You can even get t-shirts with your favorite character! Yes, that’s right. I have merch. OK, fine, I got bored during the lockdown, but we now have an artist’s rendering of GIMMIE! You know, just in case you were curious about what it looks like.?

My inner tyrant is lurking somewhere, too, and since I now have one of these modern “virtual” offices, it is laughing at me. “How do you like being virtual, smart guy,” it just snickered at me. “Maybe you’re just a figment of someone’s imagination, too.”

Wow, that’s thought provoking. I guess that’s a rather existential way to finish this missive. And speaking of existential, if you do not want to receive these emails in the future, just let me know. I’ll take you off the list.?

Drop me a line some time.?

Your pen pal,?

Bill?