Vipassana?-?Spending 10 Days in?Silence

I had developed a curiosity for learning more about meditation and spirituality. It started with the realization that the mind is so unstable that I need to have some way to stabilize it and make it progress in a forward direction. I tried different techniques, practising on and off.

When I was travelling to Dharamshala, I had the opportunity to attend a guest meditation session at Tushita — Buddhist monastery. That was my first time inside any monastery and I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with the place. Tremendous positive vibes, the place had so much positive energy that I wanted to spend time there. In the midst of Himalayan mountain, tall pine trees, highly oxygenated fresh air adds to the aura of the place.

I decided to go for a 10-day retreat to Tushita, attending an “Introduction to Buddhism” course. That was my first formal training into Buddhism and meditation. The retreat provided me a good initial insight into Buddhism, its way of life and made me curious to learn more and practise more. That’s when I got to know about Vipassana as a powerful meditation technique and to explore deeper.

Anyone who had attended Vipassana earlier, encouraged me to do the retreat. I decided to attend a retreat at Vipassana center in Igatpuri, and after 10 ten days of retreat I am a different person from the inside.

During these 10 days, one follows a very strict routine and schedule. For the entire duration of the course, one has to practise noble silence, no communication of any form with any one, which also meant no mobile and no Internet. A complete cut-off from the outside world.

From morning 4am to evening 9pm, one gets to do 12 hours of meditation every day. Rigorous routine, satvik food, and noble silence. The entire life experience goes through a magical transformation.

That was an opportunity for me to be on my own for the entire ten days. That’s the best time I have spent with myself or the best I have done for myself.

Act Not React

Vipaasana guides you to observe sensations in your body and practise your mind to remain equanimous under any situation. When the mind learns to remain equanimous, it tends not to react (which is more impulsive) but to act (which is thought-through and deliberated).

By Day 4 in the course I started feeling sensations in most of the body parts. They are like current flowing through the body from top to bottom and bottom to top. Traversing through the body it asks to focus for a moment on each part of the body. There were moments, when I could feel inside the body and could feel the blood flowing. Some people feel it strongly, some may not feel at all, but the idea is to train the mind to remain equanimous.

Perspective changed, the way I look at situations in life, the way I deal with good and bad events, happy and sad moments of life. Instead of being reactive, I learned to be more practical and thought-oriented. Before acting on any situation, now I try to think of possible points of views.

All the extreme emotions like anger, ego, hatred result from reacting to the situation. Many of life’s problems are because of emotions arising out of reaction. When you react, very likely you will end up hurting yourself. Once you stop reacting, you make a well-informed decision. You are not acting in the heat of the moment, you will practically analyze the situation, understand both sides to it and then act on it.

Imagine you are driving your car in a very good mood, enjoying the weather, good music. Suddenly someone driving at a high speed overtakes in the wrong way. Natural first reaction is we start shouting at the other driver. But the other driver is nowhere near to hear your shouting, only you are hearing your shouting and spoiling your good mood.

Every change in life situation results in a certain form of sensation or vibration within the body. Once you know how to remain equanimous with these vibrations, you don’t react which is more impulsive, instead you analyze and act.

Chaotic Mind

Meditating during those 10 days, I realized how chaotic my mind is. It’s so tough to hold the mind on one thought for even 20 seconds. It’s like a monkey dance, jumping from one branch to another. Mind is also like this, it keeps jumping from one thought to another, sometimes related and sometimes completely disconnected.

Around Day 5, mid-way in the course, I started to feel some stability in the chaotic mind. Started seeing how beautiful a calm mind is, the mind is being more present and more focused. The power of concentration starts increasing, and I get to spend more time on a task before my mind starts wandering again. I started to realize when the mind is wandering and can make an attempt to bring it back to focus.

10 days is too short to master your mind, but it gives a path and equips you to walk down the path — to make your mind sharper and stronger.

Generosity and Humbleness

There is “zero” fees for the retreat, everything is given to you — accomodation, food, teaching, and lovely surroundings. The entire course is run by the generosity of the past students. There are past students volunteering to run the course taking care of each and every thing without expecting anything in return. Their compassion and serving attitude strikes a cord inside. It makes one feel humble.

It helped to learn to stop judging people, how to serve without expecting anything in return, and feeling the joy of giving. For 10 days one is living life like a monk in solitude, getting fed by others, dependent on whatever is being offered, and learning to be grateful for what is given.

I learnt that generosity comes from the heart unrelated to how much money or physical belongings one has. I got to meet people who are so simple and humble, but when I interacted with them after the retreat was over, realized how much they have achieved in their life, one such friend I made in the retreat has worked at a Secretary level with the Central Government of India.

I feel more compassionate and stronger sense of love and kindness.

Power of Silence

I have always read that “a picture is worth a thousand words’’; now I have realized “silent speaks more than a thousand words”, it can express more than what words can express, it helped me to learn about myself. Throughout our lives we spend a lot of time learning about others, but do very little to learn and know the true nature of ourselves. Living life in 10 days of complete silence, gave me an opportunity to spend time with myself and know myself.

It has given me a new depth of clarity and ability to be more in the present moment. I have learned to maintain a balanced mind even in the toughest time, so that I can make better decisions. When all the distractions were turned off — no talking, mobile, internet, reading, writing or even eye contact, I started realizing how and where my mind is wandering and started to notice little things.

The experience of silence has made my mind more aware. As compared to the past, I am able to better (still not perfect) realize thoughts as they arise and try to not act on them before having done an analysis. I am able to deal with challenges and make better (than earlier) decisions in both personal and business situations.

I feel grateful to everyone who has helped me decide to go for the retreat and everyone at the retreat who with their selfless support and generosity made my retreat a lifetime opportunity. I have definitely learned a lot, but it is just the beginning.