Violation of Duality

An idea promulgated extensively in everyday discourse, is how everything follows the duality principle.

Anger, for example, is widely regarded as a negative emotion. However, there are times you should be angry. Anger, can incite you to action. It can wake you up, force you to be better. Makes sense then, that we shouldn't dismiss any emotion as negative.

There is one emotion though, for which I am struggling to find duality. Resentment.

Resentment is an emotion which helps us make any given situation we are in, worse.

Your father passed away. A horrible painful situation for you and your family. Instead of stepping up and into the responsibilities , you are in a corner crying and despondent. Cursing your luck as to why this happened to you. A horrible situation, which you have just made worse.

You put your hand up for a responsibility. You failed at it. You didn't just fail, you failed publicly. In front of everyone. Now you are being laughed at. You begin thinking, why do I even try? I should have kept away from it all. A horrible situation, which you have just made worse.

You went through a violent and toxic relationship. It took a lot of effort, counselings and help from friends to develop the courage to walk away. You successfully did. Now, you decide, I will never date again. All relationships are an unnecessary pain. A horrible situation, which you got out of, but then just made worse.

A terrorist attacks, shouting religious slogans. The entire religion is evil. A woman is raped by an excuse for a man. All men are rapists. A war breaks out, everyone in the country in war against you is evil.

How long before this thought enters your mind, " This world is evil and horrible".

Once there, how long before this one? " Maybe all of humanity needs to be wiped out".

The road from resentment to psychopathy, nursing traumas and exhibiting narcissistic traits is a surprisingly short one.

Resentment, takes root when your ego has taken a hit. I personally, imagine resentment as a healing balm for our ego. Whenever we feel hurt, we apply it to give us relief.

Failure, a hard tough teacher, requires a sacrifice from you before it smiles and shares some learning with you on how you can be successful. That sacrifice, is your resentment.

The easiest way to sacrifice resentment, is by using the sword of Purpose.

Nietzsche said it best. He who has a why, can survive any what.

Well, what does this mean exactly?

Why did you decide to get into a relationship? Sex? Or did you want someone to incrementally make your life better? For whom you could incrementally help be better?

Was your father a good man? Was he an evil man? Either way, does your family now deserve the best you are capable off?

The sword of purpose, is a sword which can cut through all vines of resentment. It is also a sword which you can prop yourself up on and continue to take steps forward.

The first step after your sacrifice your resentment, is always, without exception, introspection. Looking within, for answers. Asking yourself , why something happened. Why didnt it work for you?

The second step, is strategizing. How can you be better? How can you change? How WILL you change?

The third and final step? The plan. What are the steps you will follow? What are the actions you will take?

Why - How - What... Simon Sinek's three step approach to purpose.

Maybe, this was the duality in it?

Maybe resentment is useful in testing the sharpness of your sword of purpose?