A Village Story About Kindness

My parents are 79 and 80. They live in their home together in a small village in Ontario.

I grew up in Mount Elgin. During my childhood, with an approximate population of 500, the community spirit thrived. It centred around church, the community hall, the library and the ballpark. There were always events that brought people together ranging from the church’s Strawberry Social, to the Women’s Institute annual Hallowe’en parade at 8pm, to a full slate of ball games every week from t-ball to fast pitch softball. Families rotated weekly through ball season volunteering to manage the ball booth to ensure the throngs in the stands could enjoy pop, popcorn or candy during all of the games.

Fun fact, I was on the team the year the Mt Elgin Bantam Girls took the Ontario Rural Softball Association’s AAA Provincial Championship, but I digress.

Community relationships were built on the back of in person events and clubs and meetings and sport. They were a constant.

It has been many years since I have lived in the village. It has grown. A lot. The subdivision during my childhood maxed out at approximately 20 houses. My folks’ home is situated across the street at the entrance of the subdivision, a subdivision that is the entrance now to more than a couple hundred homes. Stunning growth over recent years.

With growth and changes in the community demographics it is tougher to keep track of who lives where, who has family down the hill, where do the kids go to school, is it a snow day for everyone or not? Well, at least it is extra tough to follow once you retire, have a spouse whose physical and cognitive decline has become so devastating that her full time care makes it near impossible some days to even leave the house to go grab a bag of milk. That was my Dad’s reality BEFORE COVID-19 hit.

The devastating restrictions that come with isolation when you are in a high risk population for contracting COVID are felt deeply and uniquely. Attending the annual turkey dinner in 2020 wasn’t even an option last week for making that deeply yearned for connection with old friends and community.

Loneliness is crippling.

So, you get creative. On Hallowe’en just before my sister flew back to BC she put out a pumpkin, a cooler and wrote the following message on a cardboard box: “Happy Hallowe’en. Please enjoy a pop. We can’t come to greet you, but we love to see your costumes. Walk up to the big window and WAVE.” Part of her inspiration was knowing the perk Mom gets every single time the two little girls across the street wave to her when they walk by. They probably can’t even see Mom. But she sees them.

My sister set everything out on a small picnic table with the hope that just a few of the new families with young kids would cross the street, read the sign and give my folks their very own Hallowe’en costume parade.

I posted a picture of their quirky set up on the village’s Facebook page encouraging families to swing by. And swing by they did. The cooler was emptied and a steady stream of kids in costumes went onto the porch to give my Mom and Dad a wave. It was pure delight.

One of the families that saw my Hallowe’en post made sure their son Cody added my folk’s home to their trick or treating route.

A couple of days later, Cody and his Dad knocked on my parent's door. Cody introduced himself and asked if there were any chores he could do to help my Dad. Just to be a good neighbour.

That night Dad called Cody, because every good entrepreneur leaves their business card with contact info. Dad said he would love it if Cody could keep the bird feeder in the back yard topped up.

For weeks now, Cody has dropped by to keep the feeders full. It is a proverbial twofer for Mom and Dad. They look forward to his brief visit when he grabs the feed and they can count on the steady stream of birds that brighten up their days.

Dad is a little bit less lonely due to the kindness of parents in the village who have understood the joy that is brought by simple connections. Kind gestures.

And although Mom may not know the names of the two little girls who wave to her every time they walk by across the street she knows how it feels to be remembered. They both do.

I have shared with many that my personal holy grail for the Relentless Venture Fund would be to solve loneliness in seniors. We remain relentless in our pursuit of this crowning glory.

Please, as the days become shorter, darker, wet and snowy, find ways to connect with the seniors in your life. Simple, low tech outreach will do just fine in advance of discovering the holy grain.