Optimism is tiring, but it's better than the alternative..

There is no escaping the bad news in these times, and LinkedIn is no different. Yes, it is a Herculean effort to find an optimistic viewpoint in a negative situation, but it can and should be done and perhaps the good news is, that it’s entirely up to you.

For some perspective here is an excerpt from Bryan Dyson’s (Ex CEO-Coca Cola) 5 balls commencement speech “Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit. And you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.”

A set back in one’s career is just that, a setback, it’s a rubber ball and it will bounce back. Losing your job should not be your identity, so don’t make it into one. Being unemployed is temporary. If things aren’t quite how you want them to be especially in the career department, then read on for some inspiration and a few tips on how not to be overwhelmed and stay positive and don't surrender to the setback.

REFRAME THE SITUATION : Instead of seeing yourself as a victim of your circumstances and risk developing a persecution complex mulling over thoughts like, "why did this happen to me?; "why can't I get a break?" , "After all the years that I gave the company ?! etc.. Reframe the mental narrative to “What options do I have now” or “What did I learn” or “What can I do next”.

Get over your Attribution Bias and speak with someone who cares (& is candid) to get a grounded perspective on your situation. Then ask yourself will ‘this’ matter in a year or 5 years when you’re back in the saddle. If you’ve done some soul searching and addressed the shortcomings, you’ll be thankful for taking the initiative and learning from the situation.

Among all the definitions of success, my favorite by far is the one from the brash & unapologetic Prof Scott Galloway in his book the Algebra of Happiness :

SUCCESS = RESILIENCE / FAILURE

EXERCISE : "When you exercise, it increases endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline and endocannabinoid -- these are all brain chemicals associated with feeling happy, feeling confident, feeling capable, feeling less anxiety and stress and even less physical pain” This was the first thing that showed up when I exercised my Googling rights.

I’ve personally become habituated to a basic daily physical training regimen. Long walks always end up elevating my mood and providing me much needed clarity. Hit the gym, go for a walk, a run or indulge in Yoga or Qigong or whatever. Just do it(swoosh) and you’ll start feeling better.

MORNING ROUTINE : Start your day by making improvements to your mindset. Meditate or practice some form of mindfulness. If you wake up and start the day by thinking about all that’s wrong, the emotional response that this thinking evokes is a slippery slope and a sure shot way of ensuring that you have a lousy day ahead. Dr Joe Dispenza the Neuroscientist says “If you don’t know how to control your emotion and let that linger for hours or days, it turns into a mood. If you keep that mood for weeks and months, you’ve developed a temperament. If you keep that temperament for years, it’s becomes a personality trait.” Before you do irreparable harm to your personality, make it a point to start your day on an optimistic note.

EXTEND HELP & COMPASSION: There is an old proverb that says "If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Scientific research provides compelling data to support the anecdotal evidence that helping & giving, is a powerful pathway to personal growth and happiness. In times like these there is no dearth of ways you can help, start small but don’t be guilt tripped into helping. Mentor, share your knowledge, share your resources, volunteer your time. Turns out that more you have, the more you can give. Leaders take note.

GRATITUDE: “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Throughout history and around the world, leaders and philosophers have extolled the virtue of gratitude. Give thanks for the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. No matter how bad you think your circumstance are, there is always something that you need to be grateful for. Start by counting your blessings; list out things that you’re grateful for. The fact that you’re reading this when the pandemic has taken so many in lives, in itself is worth being grateful for. It takes practice, but you’ll start seeing the value of living with an attitude of gratitude.

UNPLUG : Resist the urge of checking your smart phone as soon as you open your eyes and as you go through the day, try to unplug from things that result in an unnecessary sensory overload. I used to be a news junkie and although I still have a voracious appetite for business & industry information, I’ve had to consciously train myself to ask the question “How does it help me?”. At some level, for me it’s the resonance of the futility of worrying(Mark Rylance & Tom Hanks) from scene in the Movie Bridge of Spies – Would it Help

LET GO : We often take a molehill, turn it into a mountain and then pretend to be Edmund Hilary. Things are big or small only by the amount of energy we give to them. Anger, frustration, resentment, fear are all negative emotions and holding on to them will do no one any good. In the Untethered Soul (& later the Surrender Experiment) Michael Singer the NY Times Bestseller, brilliantly illustrates the art of letting go(recommended read ) To get the gist of it and learn to free yourself from negative thoughts, here is a short video worth watching Oprah & Michael Singer. If you want your circumstance to change you have to learn to let go and move on. If it feels like it's you versus the world, chances are that it's you versus yourself.

FOCUS ON WHAT MATTERS : I wrote a brief article here on LinkedIn a few years ago (Focus on the Bigger Picture) and now more than, ever it’s becoming a relevant' credo. Bad times don’t last (neither do the good times). Start by taking some action , learning a new skill, brushing up on your functional knowledge and learn to succeed. Focus on what really matters in life.Look at things not as they are, but as they can be. When you’re sick you shouldn’t focus on the illness, you should focus on the healing.

Let me also urge you to ignore the moth-eaten cliché “The Grass is greener on the other side”. IF it is, it’s probably because of the manure. So, before you break into the soliloquy “okay but he has it easy and has no idea what I am going through” let me assure you that you have no idea how many personal and professional challenges I’ve had to overcome (ing).Not a week goes by without me receiving resumes from folks who have been impacted and whom despite my best intentions I can't directly assist.

Even the venerable Elon Musk when asked, quipped 'I am not sure, I want to be me’. Unless you have aspirations of bovine reincarnation, or you’re a true Canadian and the word has a different meaning to you now with the legalization, stop obsessing about the grass on the other side.

To quote the Emperor Marcus Aurelius: “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength”. On a side note, his ideas on stoic philosophy make for really good reading, especially for the C’ Suite leaders.

It should be no surprise to you that no prophet lived life on a bed of roses, neither Jesus, nor Muhammad nor the Buddha and yet they were among the greatest men that walked the Earth.

Patience is learning to productively handle the passing of time and at some point in time we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past for ourselves. Yes, optimism can be tiring but it's way better and takes a lot less energy than takes a lot less energy than negative self talk. The truth is that everything will be okay, when you’re okay with everything.