Video: Stop Trying to Be Fearless

How Your Brain Uses Fear

We honor people who "act without fear." Those who run toward the gun shots or into the burning building. Yes: we should appreciate their heroism.

But a lot of times we denigrate ourselves when we are fearful about a situation. Or seem to hang on to our memories of being afraid much more tightly than the ones of happier times. We vow to overcome our fear next time. ?

Here's why that's a mistake.

We start life with two fears: of falling and loud noises. As we age, these coalesce into five primal fears: extinction, mutilation, loss of autonomy, separation, and ego death (losing our sense of self). Every fear you have today is tied to one or more of these.

To know that fear actually is there to 1) help us to stay safe, and 2) remind us to avoid really dangerous actions, allows us to benefit from the experience. ?

Even better: we can choose to face (not eliminate) our fears. This starts with being able to name what we're feeling (instead of wasting time and energy denying it). Studies show that when we do this, we become more compassionate with others who are fearful.

That's something we can all use more of.

Lynne Franklin is a neuroscience nerd,?TEDx?speaker, communication advisor and?author. She works with leaders to break down communication silos and develop cultures where people want to work. Connect with her at?www.dhirubhai.net/in/lynnefranklin,?www.YouTube.com/LynneFranklin,?@LynneFranklin?and?www.LynneFranklin.com.?