Victimization & Oppression

As a practicing psychotherapist with over forty years of experience, I observe that today’s political ideologies have made their way into therapy sessions in a very negative way.?People are troubled by a world that they consider oppressive.?People feel like victims and seek to transform their victimization into virtue.?None of this is conducive to good mental health, let alone happiness.?This article will explain how to reduce the overwhelming task of changing the world to a more achievable mission such as making your life better, healthier, and happier.

Are You Really Oppressed?

You can determine this, in short order, by answering the following question: Are you worse off than your grandparents were??I have never met anyone who claimed that they were.?We live in a remarkable world in which we carry a cell phone that was considered a fantasy just one generation ago.?And yet, we are engaged in what appears to be the Oppression Olympics. This is particularly true in the academic world which attempts to turn being a victim into virtue and the quest for social justice, diversity, and equity into a secular religion.

The Lessons of History

All human history, everywhere, can be viewed as a nightmare.?Everyone’s history can be found to contain death, struggle, privation, war, and horror, with a little bit of progress mixed in. The unsophisticated thinker and the intellectually arrogant can find fault with any society’s history and decide to remake it, to create a utopia, to get it right this time.?Do you really think that the average person is up to that task? Sadly, many do.

A useful view of history includes cataloging the progress that has been achieved along the way. Western society has always been imperfect, but it has always been bent toward progress.

So, what did we get right:?We developed the idea of the sovereignty of the individual, of property rights, of the dignity of the individual, and of innocence before the law. As world history goes, this is miraculous.

While the west made this progress, other societies learned to extinguish, imprison, and enslave their populations more efficiently. Some call it real oppression. Others call it China. We are not a perfect society, but we are open to correction and improvement.

Mental Health and Humility

Being healthy, resilient, and happy requires humility.?Before we internalize the oppression and victimization lessons taught on social media, perhaps we should mow the lawn or volunteer at a soup kitchen.?Before we rally to the latest totalitarian scheme to make life better for everyone, perhaps we should make an improvement in our own life.?And then, if we are wrong, only we will suffer for own mistakes. Humble people experiment on themselves.

Before we attempt to change our country, perhaps we should work on our family.?Families are the building blocks of our society. Our families are a great place to begin our social experimenting.?Based on the sad state of this institution, it hard to see how we could make it worse.

One of the most difficult parts of seeking help in therapy is coming to the realization that most often we are responsible for our problems. In any case, you, and only you, will be responsible for the resolution of your problems.?Therapists are not magicians.

Respecting Others is the Road to Self-Respect

Hate, arrogance, and righteous indignation are the emotions I see in many clients today.?These emotions lead to low self-esteem, and eventually, one begins to disrespect themselves.?They engage in behaviors that they are ashamed of, and then they spiral out of control.

Respect for others was a virtue of the “old world order.”?The “new world order” has replaced respect for others with demands for social justice, diversity, and equity.?In short, make me happy.

So, once again, how would it been to have lived your grandparent’s life??Would you have been obsessed with the concept of oppression? How would you have improved the world for your grandchildren??Better yet how are you improving the world for your grandchildren??Do you actually care? Your grandparents did!

Respect for others goes hand-in-hand with humility to build progress in any society.?Creating a cancel culture in which making controversial statements subjects one to hardships is a sure way to stifle progress.?Repression never ends well.?Respect always does.

The Therapeutic Solution

People do not get better because of what’s wrong with them.?They put what’s right with them to work and they solve their problems.?So it is with any imperfect society.?So it is with those with whom we do not agree.?We don’t need to throw away a society that has created the most good for the most people.?We don’t need to attempt to design a society that has never been. We need to improve the one that is!

Hate, arrogance, and righteous indignation are the tools of fools.?Kindness, humility, and respect are the tools that have advanced human existence for all of recorded history.

The path to hell is paved with good intentions.?Beware. Be careful.?Be kind.

Never Forget Human Nature

There is a part of human nature that is, by definition, evil.?I am mindful of the fact that today this is not a popular view.?It is my intention to be helpful, not popular.?There are those who would use the gentle, kind, and caring part of human nature to achieve their sinister intentions.?It’s written in their DNA.?The story of the hunter and the talking snake makes this point:

There once was a hunter walking through the woods who encountered a snake captured in a trap.?The snake called out to the hunter, “Kind sir, could you please release me from this trap, and I shall always be in your debt?”?The hunter, quite impressed with the talking snake, replied, “You can talk. How is that?” The snake replied, “I was commissioned by God the make the world a perfect place, and thus, he gave me the ability to talk, and now I am stuck in this trap.” In total awe, the hunter knelt down and released the snake from the grips of the trap.?The snake proceeded to bite the hunter with its poisonous venom. Filled with pain and fear the hunter asked, “Why did you bite me?” The snake replied, “Because I’m a snake.”