Victim No More

Understanding what it means to be a victim can be the first step toward changing that, and drastically altering your life. The good news is that you possess the power to alter your path and live as a survivor.

You no longer have to be a victim.

You can survive and thrive no matter what you've been through and can take action and change things so that you no longer hear those old tapes playing in your mind. It’s up to you to initiate self-corrective measures, so you can alter your outlook on life and change your opinion of yourself.

Put these ideas into action today to begin to live like a survivor:

1. Open your mind. You can change anything in your life if you choose to. Even by taking small steps, you can head down a different path.

2.? Find your confidence. You’ve made it this far. Reflect on the positive things you’ve achieved. Listing them will help you become more self-assured.

????Isn’t it time you acknowledge that you’ve made some decent choices along the way?

3.? Make the decision to show your confidence to others. Although showing some self-assurance can be scary, you can do it.

4. Think positive. Refuse to allow the old tapes from the past to keep playing in your head. Replace them with something positive. Instead of, “I won’t amount to anything because of my past,” think, “I survived my past so I can achieve anything I put my mind to.”

????Create an image in your mind of you burning all of those old, negative messages.

5. Finish. Regardless of what you’re doing, make every effort to finish the task. Use your calendar and prove to yourself that you complete what you begin. You’ll feel uplifted when you see that you finish what you start.

6. Take responsibility. Own your own life. No one can make you feel a certain way or carry out a particular behavior unless you consciously choose to go along with them.

????You can do whatever you want to do. Create a happy life for yourself one action at a time.

7. Avoid blaming others for how your life goes now. Maybe your parents lacked nurturing skills or you were in an abusive relationship. But you’re in charge now. You’re an independent adult who can take steps to ensure you’re safe. Make your own life choices.

8. Love yourself, starting now. When you decide to love and cherish yourself, you can focus more intentionally on your own needs.

????Loving yourself will help you realize that you’re worth the time and effort it takes to construct the life you yearn for.

9.? Adopt a new mantra. Create a short, motivational sentence you can say to yourself that will help you become a survivor. Consider these examples: “No excuses - I create the life I want,” “I can do whatever I want,” or “I’m a survivor.” Say your mantra to yourself several times throughout the day.

????Place the mantra in writing on your refrigerator and bathroom mirror. Pretend you’re an artist: paint the words of your mantra and frame it for a special place in your living room, bedroom, or kitchen.

????Telling yourself you can do something builds up your energy so you can accomplish it.

????You might find it helpful to adopt your own special “anthem.” Choose an anthem by thinking of a song from the past that energizes you and reminds you that you can make it. Some examples could include, “It’s My Life,” “True Colors,” “I’m a Survivor,” or “I Will Survive.”

????Choose a song that speaks to you and carries an uplifting message you love to hear.

??????The point of having a mantra or anthem is that whenever your thoughts start heading back toward a negative place, you can say or sing it to yourself and turn your thoughts around.

10. Remind yourself about what is and isn’t in your control. It’s helpful to realize that you’re unable to control what others do, but you can control your emotional and behavioral reactions to them.

????Remember that 100% of the time, you have a myriad of options in life. Allow yourself some time to consider them whenever a tough situation develops.

11. Keep a journal. When you write down your thoughts and feelings, it provides insight into what’s driving you. Only then can you figure out how you can change your life. Journal daily at first to get comfortable and establish the habit of looking within yourself.

12. Share genuine feelings when it’s appropriate. Recognize that someone who cares about you is interested in hearing about how you really feel.

????If you’re unsure your partner wants to know how you truly feel, talk with them about it. Let them know that you plan to verbally share your feelings more often. Ask them to listen and make efforts to understand you better.

????You’ll want to mention that you’ll pay attention to their thoughts, feelings, and words, as well.

13. Ask those you trust for feedback. Inquire about what others have noticed about your emotions in the past. How do they see you? Listen carefully for any clues to how you’re coming across to others. Feedback from others can help you figure out how you can alter your path to one that’s more positive and hopeful.

14. Tell yourself it’s okay to experience some discomfort. When you leave a predictable or comfortable place, physically or emotionally, it can be scary and intimidating.

????Making changes takes some effort, but it will eventually be worth any initial discomfort.

15. Focus. When you stay centered on your options, choices, emotions, and behaviors, you’ll find life gets much easier.

????When we remind ourselves to stay personally centered, we relieve ourselves of the need to control others, earn their permission, or seek their approval. Keep your focus where it counts. The power is within you!

16. Consider seeking professional help. Depending on your situation, you may have a lot of personal work to do. You have the options to work these things through on your own, attend support groups, find a therapy group, or locate a counselor or coach to assist you.

????Sorting out the details of your life and determining how to make changes will help you live a more conscious, fulfilling existence.

Use these “tools” to help you build a stronger sense of self and discover your desired pathway in life. Commit to applying these techniques in your daily life, and unleash the survivor (and thriver) that’s inside of you!