Victim Blame: Why We Do It, How to Stop

Most people believe that blaming victims is bad and yet all of us, to a greater or lesser extent, blame people for the misfortunes that befall them. When I was researching my book, I set out to discover why. That’s when I learned about the Just World Bias.

The Just World Bias

In a seminal study from the 1960s, scientists showed participants videos of two men solving puzzles and told them that afterward one was randomly assigned to receive a larger cash reward. Regardless of which man received the higher award, participants rated the one who received more money as smarter, better at solving puzzles, and more productive—even though they knew that the reward was arbitrary. Similarly, when study participants were shown videos of a woman who was asked questions and received (fake) electric shocks for wrong answers, they criticized her and said she deserved it. Interestingly, when the study was changed so that participants had the option either to give her a reward for a right answer or to take away the shocks for a wrong answer, all chose to take away the shocks—and all judged her more highly than those who had no ability to stop the shocks.

We want to believe that life is fair and that what goes around, comes around. If we have the power to make it so, we do; if we don’t, we engage in mental gymnastics to convince ourselves that the bad that befalls people is at least a little bit their fault. We do this because we want the world to feel safe, ordered, and sensible. We especially want to think that we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from random acts of horror. Thus: if something bad happened to you, what did you do to make that happen? Because if I know, I can avoid that thing, and I will be safe from what happened to you.

Of course, the world is not nearly as just as we would hope. Horrible things happen to very good people all the time, as the past few years have amply demonstrated. Life, in short, is not fair, despite our best efforts to make it so.

The belief that those who have had bad things befall them brought it on themselves is therefore inaccurate. It is also incredibly damaging. When we search for the action of the victims that led to the pain that befell them, we communicate that they are not as deserving of our sympathy as they would be if they were free of blame. This affects their ability to cope with the incident and to heal from it.

Victim Blame Exacerbates Self-Blame

What is particularly insidious about blaming victims is that it mirrors some of the same conversations that the victims are likely having with themselves. Victims want to believe in a just world, too, of course. For them, the desire to blame is perhaps even more keen: if they can point to the action they took that led to their suffering, they can be careful to avoid that action in the future and therefore keep themselves safe from experiencing the same negative experience again.

Your statements to the victim that underscore his secret fears about his own blameworthiness will sting and hold a long impact, precisely because they mimic what he is already telling himself—if only he had made different choices, he would have been safe. Of course, it is not truer when the victim says it to himself than when you say it to the victim. Both are based on the fallacy of control. The victim did not have control of the situation. The victim was acted upon and did his best to protect himself.

Leaders and Blame?

I once worked with an organization that had experienced a horrific act of violence. In the aftermath of the tragedy, leaders at all levels worked hard to make the right decisions, support their community, and communicate effectively. As the weeks and months passed, of course they analyzed every decision made and every action taken or not taken, in an effort to try to answer the question, “what could we have done to avoid this?”

As I met with leaders who had grappled with these decisions, it was clear that many still second guessed themselves, playing over and over again the choices made and whether they had done the right thing. Many also faced others asking them the same questions—if you’d done something different, perhaps this would have gone differently.

To be clear, the act of violence that my client faced was one person’s fault: The perpetrator’s. Everyone else was just doing their best in response to a situation that they never should have been in.

That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t interrogate our systems and responses and make improvements where we can. We all need to take the steps we can to protect ourselves, and we don’t deserve to be harmed. Victim blame is unhelpful. The search for fault among those who were doing their best makes it more difficult to think clearly and set up systems for better outcomes in the future.

Avoiding Victim Blame

How can we combat our instinct to blame victims? Here are a few ideas.

1.???? Recognize that the world isn’t fair.

The first step is simply to recognize the Just World Bias. Catch yourself looking for the blame on the part of the victim and remember the fallacy at work.

2.???? Think through your own near misses.

When you find yourself beginning to blame someone who is suffering, interrogate yourself. Have you ever walked through an unsafe area? Trusted someone you shouldn’t have? Think through some of your own near misses, which could easily have gone the other way. If they had, would others say that the injury that befell you was at least partly your fault?

3.???? Shift focus to the perpetrator.

Where possible, instead of looking to the person in front of you, zoom in on the perpetrator of the act—the assailant, or the cancer, or the tornado. Try to place the blame where it rightly belongs.

Conclusion

Victim blame is harmful to those already suffering and unhelpful in identifying better paths forward. To combat it, we can remember the fallacy of a just world on which it lies, recall our own near misses, and look instead to the actual cause of the crisis or tragedy.

To learn more about better supporting those in trauma or distress at work, check out my book, The Empathetic Workplace: 5 Steps to a Compassionate, Calm, and Confident Response to Trauma on the Job. You can see more about me and my work here.