A Veteran's Perspective on Unconditional Love

The 9/11 anniversary is coming up in a few days, so I offer this perspective about military service to our country:

Service to our country is an unconditional love for a purpose greater than ourselves and includes an unbreakable bond between military brethren that defies understanding by the average non-military person.

I choose to discuss this very personal topic because the Army values of Selfless Service and Personal Courage are significant factors in the Veteran / Civilian Culture Gap. These values are integral to The Team paradigm of military service and many non-military people do not relate to the military mind-set and behaviors that are tied to these concepts. This mind-set disparity can sometimes cause some challenges for Veterans reintegrating into the public/private sector after military service. 

I was in my car the other day listening to Bruno Mars' album, Doo Wops & Hooligans and if you've never listened closely to the lyrics of Grenade (it's the first track), he is singing about Unconditional Love. The perspective of his song is regarding a man and his girlfriend; however, unconditional love from a Veteran's perspective is very different.

The concept of Unconditional Love from a Veteran's perspective is not usually about an individual person -

It is much, much greater than just a person.

This picture is of the Brigade Planners of 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division (3BCT, 4ID) deployed in Iraq in May 2003. 3BCT, 4ID is an Infantry unit so it was not unusual that I was one of only two female officers assigned to the brigade staff at that time. I was part of the Operations section and worked with each of the Brigade Planners at one time or another. Some of these guys are still on active duty today; some are now serving in the Reserves or National Guard; some have retired or voluntarily separated; and two of them died in Iraq during that deployment while serving as Company Commanders.

The two colleagues who were killed were men to whom I was not close friends; however, we had worked together on staff. By virtue of being part of the same military family, any personnel lost to the enemy was a significant emotional event for everyone in the unit. I remember specific things about each one of the Brigade Planners and certainly will never forget the two who died that year.

The level of commitment to our military brethren, the mission, our country, the American people, and everything honorable in the military profession is part of the oath of service that Service Members voluntarily uphold and it is an integral part of our value system - it's an Unconditional Love that continues even after we get new unit assignments and even after we leave military service.

It is absolutely no surprise to me that most of the Veterans and prior-Service Members that I've met since I retired have a passion for giving back to those still serving and those getting ready to separate or already in transition. Many are also very involved in community activities. Continued Service, Loyalty, and Protecting things of Value (country, community, people we love, etc) are part of our identity and very often continue to manifest in our post-military behavior.

When military service ends, this part of our identity does not go away. 

It may seem very unreasonable what Veterans are willing to do; understand that what drives us is usually a purpose far greater than ourselves.

What you don't understand is..
I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, Baby
But you won't do the same

Bruno Mars - "Grenade"

My work is focused on Bridging the Veteran/Civilian Culture Gap?. I have perspective and understanding of both sides of The Gap and want to help you learn, so contact me at [email protected]

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