A very 2020 holiday season.

Like many of you, I’ve been thinking a lot about the holidays this year. No matter what holidays typically look like for you – the experience is different for each of us – any celebration is certainly taking a divergent path this year (#videofeast anyone?). Rather than arguing over whether gravy is supposed to be lumpy or explaining to your relatives that you are still single (or not), most of us will make adjustments to accommodate the realities of… well… life. For #TeamGolden, that means forgoing our traditions of large gatherings of family and friends with travel to Florida to see my dad (perhaps the most challenging for me this year is time away from him), opting instead for intimate dinners with those in our local #pod (outside if the DC weather allows, COVID tests required for entry – not kidding… #testbeforeturkey be sure to make it trend).

As if “typical” holiday stressors weren’t enough, now we go and throw a pandemic into the middle of our “normal” (and often “familiar”) traditions. This year, I am reminding myself that the traditions aren’t going anywhere – and it’s not necessary to “fake it until you make it”… as this holiday will be very different than so many memories we’ve cherished throughout our lifetimes; however, let’s remember this year – like every other year – our journey is part of our story. Both grief and gratitude have a place in our lives – they exist together to make us stronger and to give us perspective, which means it’s critical that we provide space for both of these emotions. Always, and perhaps especially now – we cannot ignore the grief, the difficulty, the sorrow – or the challenge.  

It’s those pivots in life that perhaps provide us the greatest opportunity for aspirational – and unexpected – change… providing me the conviction to carry on. 

So maybe you won’t be headed to your grandmother’s house for this holiday or playing the annual game of football with the family, but that shouldn’t diminish your expressions of gratitude. In fact – quite the opposite. Gratitude is more powerful – more meaningful – when we have to be purposeful in our thoughts and our expressions. When faced with a challenge – what still brings us joy? 

When I was diagnosed with my auto-immune disease some years ago, I was run down – exhausted in a way I had never experienced – something that challenged me mentally and physically.  After months of not finding answers – we finally received insight on the diagnosis – one that ended up being life-threatening and chronic in nature, and something that I would need to manage for the rest of my life. It was challenging for quite some time to find meaning in this situation and candidly there were days where it was depressing – and certainly many a tears shed in the moment; however, I also recognized that my life had meaning and purpose – leading me to find different ways to celebrate it. On the days when my auto-immune disease is getting the best of me, I’m (extra) grateful for my family and friends who support me (and the doggies that allow a little longer a snuggle!), realizing there are times when I need a moment – humbled by the situation (my so-called life) and the pivots faced throughout the journey. It’s those pivots in life that perhaps provide us the greatest opportunity for aspirational – and unexpected – change… providing me the conviction to carry on. 

This year has undoubtedly been difficult – with COVID and the challenges it presents – and without a doubt all of us are likely grieving (with many pivots!) in some capacity, especially with so much uncertainty on the horizon. 

As I sit and think about it, even in a year that feels different than most, there is an opportunity to highlight the gratitude for our family, our friends, our pets, our community – and those caring for so many sick and injured people around the world – and so much more.  Think about a family member that’s been critical to organizing the weekly “family video conference” (or walking someone through the logistics of connecting into the “meeting” – for the hundredth time) or the co-worker who has helped quell concerns at work around the uncertainty of the marketplace… and be sure to share your stories with those around you – to talk through the grief and gratitude!

And no different this year – the holiday season is about building traditions – so it’s time to build on our time-honored traditions and think outside the box – using this time to connect in new ways. Getting the whole family together for an on-screen cookoff, going for a run or walk “together” – even if in different cities (listen to the same playlist or podcast!) – or calling friends and family throughout the day to catch up while you prep your mini-meal. It may feel different than in years past, but the purpose of connecting remains – it’s to feel (and to share) the value of family and friends...and be sure to reach out to those individuals who may feel even more isolated this holiday because after all video conferencing reaches every corner of the world!

And so no matter where you find yourself over the holidays, I encourage each of you to be deliberate and find one thing you’re grateful for and share it with… your family, your friends, your pet, your plant, or simply yell it into the world! I promise – gratitude spreads! It won’t be the same as last year or the year before – but maybe, just maybe, we can create a bunch of new traditions that bring us joy and stick with us for years to come – that’s something to be grateful for in and of itself! And so whether it’s Friendsgiving, iPhonesgiving, or Zoomsgiving, remember to bring along the empathy, the love, and the laughter – and maybe even the tears – along with a humble side of gratitude… and of course don’t forget the Green Bean Casserole too!