Venlafaxine & Vulnerability

I’m sure I’m not the only one to lose track of which week we should be celebrating what or which ‘National <insert cause/charity/event> Week’ we should be supporting and I’m either slightly behind schedule or in front for Mental Health Awareness Week. That aside, Sunday was International Men’s Day, not to be confused with Father’s Day.?

?Recently there have been a couple of interactions that have prompted me to share some thoughts.? As an engineer, I’ve never been one to pen lengthy narrative but simply detail facts and figures, all within the constraints of a character limit!

?Those that know me and those that don’t, I moved back to the UK last year with my A-Team comprising of my amazing wife & best friend Emma Rockey and our 2 little girls, having enjoyed all Australia has to offer for the last 12 years.? However, life isn’t always peachy, Australia is a long way from home and a certain virus compounded the fact.? New Year’s Eve 2019 was a great end to a good year, and the perfect launchpad for the start of 2020…. ‘Our year!’ (whatever that means!)? How wrong…. 2020 started with an ankle reconstruction, false start with a new job, career change and too many days locked down creating an irrational dislike for banana bread and online quiz parties.? Having muddled my way through the craziness of 2020 I didn’t feel quite the same as I used to…things were just not adding up.? And if I’m honest the fallout of Covid wasn’t the start but more the catalyst I needed for help.? Who’d have thought Covid would offer positives?? (More of that later).

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Father’s Day 2020 on FaceTime to the family was when I admitted I was broken.? The fallout of that tearful conversation was a couple of choice comments, ‘if your arms broken you’d go to the doctors wouldn’t you?? So what’s the difference if your head feels broken?’ GO TO THE DOCTORS! (Thank you Sarah), it still took me 4 months to grow a pair and go in Feb 21.

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February 22nd 2021 was a turning point.? A massive day in my world!? Two hours prior to my first interview at Bosch I met with my GP who offered a solution & plan to fix my head.? It’s here that I started my relationship with an antidepressant and every night at teeth time I take my ‘happy pill’, 75mg Venlafaxine.? Has it helped, yup.? But for me the biggest help was walking into the doctors and skipping out knowing that from that point I can get better!?

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There is a stigma with depression and most people don’t know how to help.? In the world we live when we break an arm, folk can sign your cast, pat you on the back and you know that all should be fixed in 8 weeks.? A brain on the other hand….how do you tackle that!

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If you want to know what it feels like to have a ‘broken head’ I’d be happy to share but for now I’d prefer to offer a few words that may provide an element of comfort or hope to others.? For as long as I can remember I’ve heard, boys will be boys, and boys don’t cry.? There is also a sensibility found around the globe that men are encouraged to present a strong, unaffected image, that often masks the deep need to communicate what is going on for them emotionally.? What a load of bollocks….

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I have no shame seeking medical intervention to assist my brain's chemical balance and view it much the same as someone with hay fever taking an anti-histamine , or an arthritis patient taking NSAIDs.

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Learning coping techniques, confronting depression head on and fostering open, communicative friendships has propelled me to where I am today.? Happy in my work, the happiest I've been for a long time.? Medication is only part of the way out but if you can find another mechanism to help, you’ll be on the road to happiness quicker than you think!

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The reason I share my story is I found that mechanism; harnessing the power of vulnerability.? It has allowed me to say what I want, ask for what I need, express my emotions (in a more controlled manner!), and celebrate my achievements. ?Lowering my guard has improved a sense of confidence, security, belonging, happiness and re-energised a thirst to learn.? Hopefully you will see vulnerability as a strength and not a weakness.

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My final thoughts would be

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• Boys cry too, and they can cry a lot!
• If you feel the slightest bit down or a just ‘a bit not right’ – seek help and chat!
• Sharing problems and verbalising will help, I know it helps and it continues to help me too.?
• Give a mate a call, give a colleague a call.? A WhatsApp or Text will also do!
• Surround yourself with awesome people, real people that care.? Big thank you to Bosch Australia Manufacturing Solutions (BAMS) and 艾奕康 for the continued support!

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If you do read this and it resonates then I’m pleased.? If you want to ask more questions then drop me a note, I’d be happy to help.

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Stay strong, life has may speed bumps!? And as a good friend once said ‘its not how far you fall but how high you bounce!’

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#mentalhealth #internationmensday