VENERATION
It was the early evening in late-May 2015 in New Mexico. I was seated twenty-four feet below ground in a kiva at the Pueblo. Few nonnatives ever granted this invitation.
A circle of elders and myself sat with our backs against the circular wall of this ancient underground structure. A small fire in the middle of the circle had been burning for some time. Its smoke ascended through the entrance opening at the top of the kiva.
The drumming and chanting had stopped. The intensity of the silence was almost overwhelming. All were looking at Richard, the Wisdom Keeper of the elders, waiting for him to speak.
A kiva?is a space used by Pueblo tribes for rites and tribal meetings. A spiritual place. An ancestral place. A holy place. Interactions in the kiva are guided by their kachina beliefs. These beliefs hold more than hundreds of divine and ancestral spirit beings who interact with humans. I could strongly feel their presence in the semi-darkness of the kiva.
What I observed and felt as Richard began to speak was veneration. Something I rarely experienced in our Western culture.
The verb venerate means to regard with great respect; revered. I recognized that the space generated by veneration brought forth an experience of honor, love, respect, and awe. Higher wisdom manifested. The context shifted. Words cut deep.
The challenge became apparent. To develop elders who bring forth veneration. So the inquiry became, "Who does an elder need to be for veneration to occur? This inquiry became central to our work in transforming older into an elder.
QUALITIES WHEN VENERATION IS PRESENT
In my experiences with Parker Palmer, Warren Buffett, Warren Bennis, Werner Erhard, David Whyte, and Ram Dass, veneration immediately appeared when they were in attendance.
When veneration of an elder was present, so was:
·?????Compassion - Benevolent consciousness of others' distress and a desire to alleviate it.
·?????Consciousness - Aware of and responding to one's?surroundings; awake.
·?????Empathy - Action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another.
·?????Consideration - Careful not to cause?embarrassment, trouble, inconvenience, or hurt to others.
·?????Humility - Freedom from pride or arrogance:?the quality or state of being humble.?
·?????Beneficence - Doing or producing good; performing acts of kindness and charity.
·?????Spirituality - Quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul instead of material or physical things.
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·?????Integrity - Quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness; being whole, complete, and undivided.
·?????Wisdom - Quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise; the soundness?of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment.
·?????Mortality Salience - Conscious awareness that death is right around the corner.
·?????Sense of duty to relieve suffering.
These qualities of elders gave them dignity, nobility, and trustworthiness. As a result, people felt safe in their presence, a kind of existential sanctuary. As essential, these qualities came forward to those in their presence.
How does this happen? It happens because mutual entrainment occurs.
MUTUAL ENTRAINMENT
Ethnomusicologist Nathan Myrick states, "people entrain to one another, with music acting as coupling factor: independent rhythmic processes create shared experiences of sensory data. As a result, our brains and bodies become coupled with others. We do not have the same thoughts or feelings, but have our thoughts and feelings together, at the same time, with those around us."
We've all had these experiences. For example, in drumming ceremonies with a native or aboriginal tribe, you'll find that it becomes one expression in short order. The same occurs in Om Toning or Kirtan chanting in Buddhist ceremonies. Or the Shema in Jewish prayer. Or the Lord's Prayer in Christianity. And yes, it happens at a Billy Joel concert when he sings the chorus of Piano Man. That is mutual entrainment.
Mutual entrainment causes a different conscious state with different dominant brainwave frequencies. Mutual entrainment induces a mutually shared desired state.
Mutual entrainment is?brainwave synchronization?or?neural entrainment. Our brainwaves, those large-scale electrical oscillations in the brain, naturally synchronize with the rhythm of certain external stimuli. In the case of elders, the external stimuli synchronize with an elder's magnanimity and higher wisdom. As a result, people become what the elder is.
When veneration is present, mutual entrainment occurs. The second, the most challenging part is for an elder to be worthy of being venerated.
And that's part of what we do at our retreats - develop late-aged attendees to be elders worthy of being venerated. The major hurdle in elder development is that they must allow themselves to see themselves as worthy of being venerated. And that ain't easy. Most people don't self-venerate; they self-annihilate.
Video - Robert Mirabal, my long-time colleague, my friend, and my brother, a relationship that strongly influenced my elder development. Enjoy The Dance.