The velvet bullet of acknowledgement

As we settle into hybrid 3.0 (hybrid 1.0 during Covid; 2.0 the transitional “return” and now making hybrid work for us) the question of employee engagement continues to be a hot topic.?

In recently published HBR article on the “Joy Gap” it concludes that joy can pack as much practical punch as technology if we allow it and points to the use of acknowledgment as a very practical and under used tool.

I’ve been learning a very powerful lesson about acknowledgement recently.

It began one day at AJC school last November when we were discussing client creation.?Externally I was actively engaged in a discussion with a group of coaches about my experience, while internally a thought storm was brewing about how some of these new techniques were not yet working and I made it mean something about me.?

The storm appeared so real that when fellow coach Moritz Lambert turned to me and said “I’m so glad you’re here …. You’ve created such an amazing a discussion!” That I had to walk away from him.

And it did not help that I walked straight into the company of another coach Felipe Bernardo with something similar to say. I simply could not let these acknowledgements in because my inner storm was over-riding the external evidence!?

I thought acknowledgement and continuous improvement could not co-exist. For me it translated as a “yes but…” or an old tape of “you got 93%, what happened to the other 7%?” ?

And I’m reminded of the Milton quote “the mind is its own place - it can make a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven.”?

The weekend was a significant one which I’m sure will come up again here but suffices to say that I learned that rejecting acknowledgment is the equivalent of slapping away a carefully chosen gift. Ouch!

The thought storm passed as it always does.?

But this time, in its wake was this velvet bullet of acknowledgement ricocheting around my psyche piercing all the carefully constructed walls of resistance.?And my performance has accelerated greatly.?Turns out my focus on the remaining 7% was more inhibiting than encouraging.

And before you get too excited, a velvet bullet is not like it's cousin the silver bullet. It is not "the ultimate solution" or the promise of some sort of fix. It's more like a force for good that wrecks havoc on your inner world with every ricochet. It's often not pretty, but always totally worth it!

There’s something about learning to stay in the discomfort of the inner world and test test test what we’ve convinced ourselves of without evidence.?Because the thought storms can feel so real in the moment.

So here’s my two cents on acknowledgment ….?

1. Receiving acknowledgement is an art form and a reflection of our concept of self. The temptation may be to say “it was nothing” or “just doing my job” or my personal favourite “where’s the but?” or any other phrasing that diminishes can be strong or instinctive.

Maybe it shows up like looking for recognition from a remote or aloof boss with high standards … and not receiving it when someone else gives you credit.?

But failing to receive is to reject both the giver and ourselves/our work. If you’re a leader it rejects our teams and ourselves as not worthy.?It causes confusion. It reduces morale because it reinforces a narrative of not enough.

And we may not realise that we are saying to ourselves and everyone around us that we don’t matter when the heart of employee engagement is our engagement with ourselves and those we work closest with.?

Developing a positive sense of self and receiving what is freely available in a compliment or positive feedback reduces the need to look for it elsewhere.?

When it comes down to it I’m seeing really simple choices (when I remember) …?

1. Acknowledge with a simple “Thank you.” Without caveat.

2. Acknowledge and say what it means for you “Thank you. That really means a lot. So much work went into that. it was important that the work of the team is understood more broadly particularly because …?

When we increase our ability to receive compliments, acknowledgements, positive feedback, praise we also increase our ability to enrol others in what we are doing and our vision for the future.?

Our personal capacity for joy increases.?

2.?Acknowledging others?for their contribution and impact means we build muscle in looking for the gold in what’s being said or done by others - our families, our teams, our community. It’s not just for annual performance reviews, or after the “big win.”?

Acknowledging our teams is key in managing upwards and enabling stakeholders to understand our work.?

The more we see it, the easier it is to articulate.

It takes practice.?

It’s contagious.?

We feel good and others feel good around us.?

The “joy gap” reduces ….

Engagement increases.

Love more, judge less, go deep, and above all, stay open for what you don’t yet know!

Caroline

·???????My youtube clip of the month is Ankush Jain’s interview with BNSOKUGREAT where he explores the power of acknowledgement?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzQEajj6Vcs

HBR Article on bridging the Joy Gap available .

?

About the author: Caroline Hughes is a former global executive who has held senior positions in Leadership Development and Change Management in CRH plc, central banking and financial services organisations.?She is now an ICF accredited executive coach, facilitates leadership development and executive retreats and consults on talent strategy. An avid hiker, she has been to Everest Base Camp, and Annapurna Circuit Nepal; Kilimanjaro, Africa (and many others!) and draws on these experiences to support leaders deliver sustainable change within themselves and their businesses.?For a consultation please visit her website www.consciousleaders.ie , connect on linkedIn or email?[email protected] ?