Vegan Boerewors, Phumlile, Johan and Rachel

I thought I would help some of my global network understand why you cannot get into any conversation with a South African / someone that identifies as trans-South African – this would be for example someone that has a husband, aunty, distant cousin, best friend or has previously visited South Africa when they were a child or any neighboring countries on a safari or even for business or transiting through one of our airports, without them bringing up the Bokke!

If you have the gees, you have the gees – you can’t help it, it’s contagious and worse than the common cold in a nursery school on a rainy day. Treacherous.

A lot of people have been asking me two questions that I want to dispel:

So what is Gees? – Google says:

What is Gees in Afrikaans slang?

“Gees. Pronounces: gh-he's. An Afrikaans word for “spirit” often used to describe a great vibe. Eg: I like this place, it has gees!”

How do you say Gees (really)?

Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkggggggggggggggggggggggggiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-hhhhhh-us

What Gees really is:

Urm well ?our bokke are sleighing in the world cup and the braais are lit. Pun intended! Swimming pools are being cleaned with far too much chlorine for children to be safe and stoeps are getting ready for the jol, Johan down the road even brought a new light that says “Man Cave” – original Johan, vat om!!!!

?I have friends that thought the Bokke were something their husbands just shouted after too many brandies and cokes, and they couldn’t help it like a nervous tick, similar to how English people start singing the national anthem after 3 pints…but now I have friends wearing springbok t-shirts and I know dedicated vegan’s that are eating boerewors just because its part of the Gees.

The Gees has taken over. The Gees is us. The Gees is South Africa.

There is so much uncertainty in South Africa (and not just because we often can’t see each other as the lights aren’t on and we must smell the stink of each other to find our way around our homes, as the water often goes for days on end) but now sadly it feels like anger going around too. South Africans are generally a bit gatvol! Companies are having to make very hard decisions to protect their futures and in South Africa with the elections coming up the arguments on whats app community chat groups are already starting. Yesterday Phumlile at number 52 told Rachel to voetsek, again. It isn’t a vibe.

BUT!!!!!.... this sport and this game has taken over and unified us – fat, thin, trans-South African, pink, purple or orange – we are all supporting our Bokke, together!!! Imagine what we could achieve if we all worked together like this as a country always…wow!! We might be better than Copenhagen. Sorry, I am getting ahead of myself. I blame the Gees.

As South Africans we need to flip this world cup like a tannie flips a pannekoek on Sunday – quickly and deliciously…. South Africa needs this, South Africans need this, and maybe after this win we as a nation will see and believe that we are bigger than just “me, we are we and we are wow!” (Patent pending)

Glossary of terms:        

Stoep – An outdoor patio, generally complete with a weber braai, a small bar fridge and an ice maker and generally some signage (love lives here or man cave are the common ones)

Vat om – Go and get them – a way to encourage people, can also be used sarcastically in articles.

Johan – A South African man who works very very hard during the week, and on Saturday he sits on his patio (see above) and drinks beer and watches sport and barbecues – sometimes with friends, sometimes on his own. On Sundays he mows his lawn and licks his wounds. ?

Gatvol – Generally just pretty *&^##@( off!

Voetsek – Something you would shout if you wanted someone to go away, often used for people named Karen in South Africa.

Tannie – Think of your favourite aunty. Generally, 50kg’s overweight and has a never ending supply of chocolates and biscuits. Smells like biscuits, sometimes cigarettes and brandy too.

?Jol - Party or even if Johan has one friend over, its a Jol.

?Send tips for stoep inspiration and vegan boerewors recipes. ?#askingforjohan #gobokke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

?