The Vase

A large blue vase stands at the edge of a low table. Two adults stand nearby, chatting. A child runs into the room, excited about life. In that excitement the child accidentally bumps the table, sending the vase to the floor, where it breaks into many pieces.

The child freezes, looking up at the adults.

What happens next will open a new path for that child, setting in motion experiences and behaviours that will shape their journey for years.

The shock of the vase breaking will likely remain with the child for a long time; but of far greater potency will be what happens next.

In our relationships with our employees, it is not the mistakes, the small failures, the things forgotten or overlooked, or the balls dropped that most determine the quality of those relationships with us. It is what happens next.

Each moment matters. Our reaction to each moment matters more.

This is the world of learning and shaping; of waves set in motion by butterfly wings; of endlessly repeating, vicious and virtuous self-reinforcing loops of failures and successes.

When an employee does something well; when an extra effort is made; when a new milestone in their development is reached and what happens next is silence, learning happens. The learning is that extra effort and great work are not valued, regardless of what the official message is.

When an employee makes a mistake; when there is a failure and what happens next is blame and punishment, learning happens. The learning is that failure is not an opportunity growth and improvement, regardless of what the official message is.

What happens next is a doorway - a liminal moment - in any relationship.

What happens next is infinite in its possibilities and implications, but of all the possible actions that could be taken in that moment, one has the greatest potential to set in motion ripples of safety, courage, and creativity instead of fear, silence, and retreat: a pause.

When what happens next after the vase is broken is a pause, there is a quieting of the heart, a gathering in of energies and information, an opportunity for truths to reveal themselves and for heart, mind, and body to come back into alignment where a moment ago they were flying apart. An opportunity for a chain of better probabilities emerges.

When what happens next is a pause - a heartbeat, a slow breath, a night - fewer ways leading back into chaos remain; most wink out of existence, leaving more ways leading forward into growth and delight.

So, what happens next?