VANQUISHING VULNERABILITY

Vulnerability is viewed as a state of being open to harm, whether physically or emotionally. Yet, embracing vulnerability incites a profound transformation—a shift from self-protection to authentic presence. It is a risky and, most often, frightening place to be because you have no armor.

When I remove my armor, most often piece by piece, I stay grounded, knowing that vulnerability is not a weakness but my door to deeper self-understanding and connection.

Vulnerability makes me look deep inside myself. Am I willing to "doff" my armor? When one removes a suit of armor, it is referred to as "doffing" the armor. "Doff" means taking off or removing clothing or armor.

Am I willing to be the original, bare, unadorned "me?" Am I willing to disregard those internal voices of the inner critic? Am I willing to take the risk of just being who I am? Do I have the bravery to hold myself whole, completed, with nothing left out?

I noticed whenever I perceived a threat or hazard, I instinctively put my armor on. The armor protected me from being exposed. But inside the armor, what I wanted to protect became an excruciating loud clanging in my helmet. "Clang. - You're not good enough – clang, clang."

For me to be vulnerable, the armor pieces needed to come off, and the wrenching tool to remove the pieces was consciousness and self-awareness. Once the pieces were identified, these tools could get underneath the pieces and pop them off.

Consciousness allowed me to identify the armor parts that allowed me to dodge vulnerability.

See if any of these armor pieces are yours as well.

Over-Rationalizing Emotions:

• One piece of my armor was rationalizing emotions. Rationalizing feelings allowed me not to feel them. Rationalizing emotions enabled me to maintain control and avoid the discomfort of emotional exposure.

Perfectionism:

• The shoulder pieces of my armor were striving for perfection. Just another defense mechanism against vulnerability. Focusing on perfection, I avoided situations where I might be judged or rejected for my flaws.

People-Validating:

• My chest plate was seeking approval. Being validated by people came from a fear of rejection and a critical judgment of not being good enough, which always led me to suppress my authentic self-expression.

Defensiveness:

• My armor's leg covers were my reflexive defensive reactions, designed to shield me from criticism and feedback. These pieces protected me from being seen as wrong or imperfect.

Avoiding Difficult Conversations:

• My arm coverings were avoiding honest or challenging conversations, particularly those involving expressing my true feelings. Avoidance was my reliable way to defend against vulnerability.

Keep Relationships Superficial:

• My shield was to have relationships that lacked depth and emotional intimacy. Keeping it superficial kept me safe. Pretending to be there but wasn't. The arrows of intimacy couldn't get through my shield.

Numbing Behaviors:

• My sword was behaviors that numb emotions—it was the standard way for me to avoid facing vulnerable feelings like sadness, loneliness, or fear.

Difficulty Asking for Coaching or Support:

• When I struggled and failed to ask for help or rely on others, it was due to the discomfort of being seen as weak, needy, and, worse, unlikeable.

Always Being the Caretaker:

• The metal flanges that covered my 'butt' was avoiding exposure by always caring for others. No wonder I became a professional caregiver. Kept the distance, made me emotionally unavailable, and put me in control.

?Keeping Busy:

• Constantly filling my schedule to avoid being with people.

Avoiding Risks:

• The pieces of my armor covering my knees were my avoidance of taking risks—whether emotional, professional, or personal—because I wanted to avoid the potential for failure or rejection.

Reluctance to Share:

• I noticed my reluctance to share myself in many situations to avoid vulnerability because it acted as a protective barrier, keeping to myself kept others at a distance.

WHO SAYS SO

It's not just me saying it; some authorities report that vulnerability is a powerful means of accessing self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-development. Indeed, it has been for me.

Brene Brown's research shows vulnerability is essential for authentic connection, courage, and resilience. It's not about oversharing but about being honest, even when uncomfortable.

Psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized that genuine connections require vulnerability because they involve sharing our true selves. This aligns with Brown's findings that vulnerability fosters empathy and strengthens relationships.

Vulnerability is also crucial for personal growth. Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages suggest that embracing vulnerability during life's challenges strengthens our sense of identity and purpose.

Existentialists like Sartre saw vulnerability as central to human existence, arguing that it allows us to confront our authentic selves.

The Buddha taught that suffering arises from attachments and aversions. Becoming vulnerable absolutely challenges your attachments to self-image and aversions to your imperfections.

Vulnerability calls you to untie from your attachments and aversions. When you embrace vulnerability, you have nothing to protect.

As Brene Brown says, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity—a profound affirmation of our shared humanity."

Are you brave enough, courageous enough, daring enough to take off your armor?

Eulogy

After 40 years with no reruns, it is time to end the many hundreds of episodes of the MBC show. As one critic said, "A show that never disappointed. Always changed and was always relevant for our times."

MBC has had an exceptionally long run, one leading man with hundreds of different characters, ensembles, supporting cast members, and crews.

Dentists (solo, partner, group, DSOs), physicians (groups and IPAs), executives and boards of DSOs, hospitals, hospital systems, third parties, special interest groups, banks, professional organizations, the Federal and several State governments, equity partners, business incubators, vendors, clearinghouses, Fortune 500 (GE Capital, Boeing and Merck), seventeen countries, a million and quarter air miles, twelves books, 2000 articles, number of podcasts and videos, and the many remarkable people that MBC got to work with and learn from over four decades. ?

"I became who I was meant to be through MBC—every win, every loss, every lesson learned, every relationship encountered. MBC shaped my skills, fueled my growth, and instilled the courage to embrace change, take risks, and dream boldly."

"Farewell, MBC—vision accomplished!"