Vanishing Act

“And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, right before your very eyes, I will mysteriously fade from your view!”? This is the often-repeated not-so-magic trick that has been performed by many before me, and countless more will follow.? The illusion takes place the moment you accept the proverbial gold watch, the entrance into your Third Act.? It is not so amazing to watch, it is not like an elaborate stage production.? There are no bright lights, no dramatic sound effects, no smoke, no mirrors.? It is a silence, a fog that creeps in after all the well-wishing, the “I wish I could retire” comments, after that last piece of cake, the last glass is raised.?

LinkedIn becomes a forum with little relevance to your new life.? Email is a glut of advertisements for various miraculous creams and potions, insurance, and instant remedies for ED.? After all, you are over 60, yes?? You will hear from a handful of peers on your birthday if you subscribe to social media.? Your cell phone is for texting the kids, funny videos of the grandsons, reminders about upcoming doctor visits, for scrolling through awful news stories, for wondering aloud what kind of world we are leaving for the next generation.

TV and magazines love to show smiling, carefree retirees sailing, golfing, learning to play the guitar.? Not a care in heart or head.? I have all the right meds, a titanium joint or two, and a drawer full of Polygrip.? The world is my oyster!? FORE!!?

Ha!? I want to seriously slap every ad exec who approves this drivel.? ??

Here is the reality for many of us:? The phone doesn’t ring much.? Your workmates, your peers are busy with the day to day.? It is no longer your burden.? You are no longer invited to participate in The Drama of the Day.? You need to find what is important to you now, in this new phase.? There is no need for an alarm clock.? After 45 years! There is virtually nothing you ‘have to do’. ?No meetings, deadlines, brainstorms, strategy sessions.? A new purpose must rise from the ashes.? These early days are strange indeed.?

For my wife and I, home is where we last laid our hats. We are many towns and many moves from where we started.? Our memories and acquaintances are scattered over a half a dozen cities and towns.? We know virtually no one here.? How will we fill our days?? Travel?? Grandkids?? Volunteering?? Music? Film?? Long walks without a thought about where we have to be?? Worrying about the state of the world?? Existential angst? ?Yes to any and all of these.? These are the things that help make sense of the world, at least for me.?

When your day comes, these will all likely be parts of your equation.? It is natural, it is expected.? Take a deep breath and let yourself relax the best that you can.? Get used to the quiet.? It can be deafening if you let it.? This globe and our time on it are both beautiful and brutal.? We will make mistakes; we will hurt others and be hurt by others.? We will experience joy and pain and everything in between.? Hopefully we will all find some real and lasting love, in one form of another.?

My new life is evolving.? It is busier that I thought it would be, though much less crowded these days.? It is definitely more introspective.? I will no doubt repeat my old stories and dole out my questionable advice far too often, to the dismay of the listener.? I will lament that our child rolls her eyes at our attempts to offer wisdom.? I will try not to become that crabby old man scowling away on the front porch, but no promises.? I will try to laugh at myself, to forgive, to try to make sure my humor is gentle and not mean-spirited. ??I will tell my wife and daughter and grandsons how much I love them way more that I heard it growing up, and they will probably think me a sentimental old fool.?

I am well on my way to being exactly that!? I can think of far worse things.? Look for me at your local park, third bench on the left, armed with a bag of seed for the pigeons, a dusty pocketful of nuts for the squirrels, and plenty of bad jokes for anyone who takes the time to listen.?

(Curtail closes, fades to a somewhat gummy, Cheshire cat grin) ??????????????????????????????