Vanilla Doesn’t Cut It

Oof, lesson #7 is real personal, but it’s important that I’m honest about my experience running a business for 10 years.?

So, here we go, Lesson #7 is: Being afraid to be myself a.k.a. watering myself down.?

When I say that business ownership caused me to have to figure out who I really was I MEAN it.?

Decades of working in corporate had taught me that to fit in was better than to stand out, and to be what was expected was better than to be unexpected.

So I tried to run my business that way, and I couldn’t - it flopped.?

I sounded like everyone else, or tried to sound like everyone else. I tried to fit in even when I didn’t.

I couldn't figure out what it was that my company actually did because no one else was doing it.?

And then I went to the other end of the spectrum and decided I had to create an entirely new thing because no one else was doing it.?

But then that couldn't fit in, and dangit I wanted to be liked, so I flipped back to being far too vanilla.?

Eventually, it became (again) very painfully obvious that what I was doing wasn't working. So I had to start peeling off the layers of shame, “should,” and expectations that I'd put on through the years, and figure out who I actually was and what kind of business I actually wanted to run.?

And then how to clearly communicate that to the world.?

I was helped on that journey by having to define our company values. Doing that jump started my clarity on who we are and our voice.?

And then I started to get evidence that it was actually good to be myself and embrace all the things that maybe were too much and too loud and uncomfortable and not a fit for other people.?

Also, repelling people who weren’t a fit was really useful. Because then I could see who the right people and the right relationships might be now that there was less noise in the way of an authentic conversation.?

I don’t want to sugar coat it, it was really uncomfortable to get used to the idea that I might not be liked, or that people would look down on me getting fired, or how I run my business, or the way in which I want to present myself.?

But it turns out, the more I embrace everything that makes me, me and the company what it is, the better I feel running the business and the more success we have in connecting with the right people and building the right relationships.

Being willing to be myself was a key turning point for me, and everything else fell into place when I came to terms with that.?

Anyone else struggle with this one?? Would love to know in the comments - there’s something about that misfit solidarity!