The Value of a Nemesis, Setting the Record Straight

Welcome to another excerpt from my series called "Life in Short Stories". Today, I want to discuss the value of having a nemesis. Yes, you read that right. A nemesis can be a valuable asset in your life, and I'm not just talking about in movies and comic books.

Let's take a look at the benefits of having a nemesis:

• Spreading Gossip - This may seem counterintuitive, but having someone spreading gossip about you can be a good thing. It keeps your name alive and relevant, even if it's in a negative light. Donna Hickey, Donna Lytle-Hickey, Donna Lee, they are all mine.
• Pushing You to Do More - A nemesis can push you to learn more, do more, and be more than you would have if they weren't in your life. They can be the motivator you need to take your career or personal life to the next level.
• Igniting Your Thirst for Opportunities - A nemesis can also ignite your thirst for more opportunities. In my case, my nemesis pushed me to seek out more speaking and training opportunities, not just in the multihousing industry, but globally. I decided I wanted to see how professional speakers managed their companies and engagements. I became a member of The National Speakers Association to learn what it really meant to be a professional speaker and how to attain that. For instance, presentation skills, speech patterners, storytelling and so much more.
• Teaching You the Value of True Friendship - A nemesis can also teach you the value of true friendship. When someone is constantly talking badly about you, it makes you appreciate friends who are honest, amazing, and supportive even more.
• Showing You What You Don't Want to Be - A nemesis can also show you what you don't want to be. Seeing someone behave in a way that you find reprehensible can help you define your own values and standards.
• Helping You Discover Who You Want to Become - Finally, a nemesis can help you discover who you want to become. Sometimes, it takes seeing someone behave in a certain way to realize that you want to be the opposite of that.

Now that we've established the benefits of having a nemesis, let's take a look at my personal experience. Since the day I stepped into the world of speaking, training, and consulting, I had a nemesis. This person discredited me, competed with me, and spread lies about me.

This person would be nice to my face and in front of others but would turn on me the minute she had the chance. The nemesis, along with others in the industry, were monopolizing the industry and not allowing others to break out into the training, speaking, and consulting world. They kept the industry tight, making sure this nemesis was considered the resident expert.

It's hard to speak about industry challenges, pitfalls, and successes if you haven't been onsite for the past 30 plus years. I compare it to talking about the process of getting pregnant and having children when you've never experienced it yourself. Just because you visited a newborn baby in the hospital doesn't make you an expert on pregnancy.

However, despite all the negativity and obstacles thrown my way, I am grateful for my nemesis. I attribute my success in part to this person, who pushed me to levels I may not have considered. I also thank my nemesis for teaching me how slanderous gossip can be and how low people can go. I also have to share, I once was at a conference and another speaker came up to me and said, and I quote " I realized how much I hated you, the day I realized you were so much like me." I was shocked and hurt but realized that my nemesis had done her job. She had brought out the worst in me, but also revealed the best in me. I knew then that I had to let go of the negativity, forgive my nemesis, and move on with my life.

Most importantly, the nemesis helped me see all the doors of opportunities out there. I admit I am not perfect, but I own my mistakes and have learned from them, after all, isn't that what life is all about.

In conclusion, I really want you to think about this the next time a negative comment is made about someone in a conversation. Take a moment to look at the person who is gossiping and ask them directly, 'What are you getting from sharing this information?'

By asking this question, you are encouraging the person to reflect on their motives for spreading gossip and may even make them realize that there is no real benefit to engaging in negative talk about others. It's a great way to redirect the conversation and focus on more positive and productive topics.

I encourage you to embrace your nemesis and use them to become a better and more experienced person. The value of a nemesis should not be underestimated, as it can help you grow and succeed in ways you never thought possible.

I can suggest a few articles on overcoming your nemesis:

1. "Overcoming Your Nemesis: How to Handle Difficult People at Work" by Forbes - This article offers strategies on how to deal with difficult people in the workplace, including those who may be acting as your nemesis. It includes tips on how to identify your nemesis, how to communicate effectively with them, and how to focus on your own goals and objectives.
2. "How to Turn Your Nemesis Into Your Ally" by Harvard Business Review - This article takes a different approach to dealing with a nemesis, suggesting that you can actually turn them into an ally by finding common ground and working together towards a shared goal. It includes real-world examples of successful partnerships that were born out of initially negative relationships.
3. "How to Defeat Your Nemesis" by Psychology Today - This article offers a psychological perspective on how to overcome your nemesis, including tips on how to build your self-confidence, set boundaries, and stay focused on your own goals. It also includes advice on how to avoid getting caught up in negative emotions and how to seek support from others.
4. "The Power of Forgiveness: Overcoming Your Nemesis" by Success Magazine - This article focuses on the importance of forgiveness in overcoming a nemesis, including the benefits of letting go of negative emotions and moving on with your life. It includes practical tips on how to forgive others and how to cultivate a positive mindset.

I hope these articles are helpful in your journey towards overcoming your nemesis. Remember, the key is to stay focused on your own goals and objectives, and to not let negative relationships distract you from achieving success.

One last question before we go, what do you get wrong about me?

Let's talk,

Donna

www.donnahickey.com 708-807-9260 www.dhirubhai.net/in/donnahickey

As an accomplished and versatile leader in property management, this professional possesses a rare combination of strategic and tactical expertise. With a focus on building a company's reputation, achieving financial objectives, and ensuring safe and compliant properties, this individual brings extensive experience in various lease ups, including affordable housing, high-rise, garden, and specialty housing. With a proven track record of success in new construction projects, renovations, rapid renovations, distressed property re-positioning, and due diligence, this property management leader is passionate about training and education. She has conducted numerous maintenance workshops and company events, including speaking engagements on DEI, emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and mental health. With a broad range of expertise, this individual is confident in their ability to deliver exceptional results in any property management role.

Donna Lee by Design is a full-service consultancy firm that has been empowering individuals since its establishment in 2000. With a focus on self-development, self-education, and overcoming the barriers that keep individuals stuck, spinning, and broke, Donna Lee is widely recognized as a thought-provoking critical thinker who can help individuals approach their life and business in a whole new way. Donna Lee's coaching and consulting services create a blueprint to prosperity by getting to the root causes of procrastination, doubt, and fear. As an internationally known speaker and author of "Masters of Success" and her latest book "To the Brink and Back, How Changing my Thoughts, Changed my Life," set to be released in January 2024, Donna Lee's coaching and consulting services include performance and storytelling coaching, MC, presentation and speaking coaching, inner-personal and business coaching, workshops, facilitation, keynotes, and seminars.