The Value of Making Meaning

When I began Focus on The Who, I shared an experience from 15 years ago: going through years of journaling and discovering a startling realization. While much about the "what" of my life—my circumstances—had changed, nearly everything about my "who" stayed the same.

“As I read and flipped through the pages that spanned years of my life, it was clear that I ultimately ended up complaining and whining about the same things, year after year. I was repeating the same patterns and mistakes and kept living the same existence without truly changing, growing, or evolving.”

At the time, I believed I had great self-awareness and that journaling was helping me process my life. But now, as a personal storyteller, I see that something critical was missing: the ability to make meaning of what had happened and how those experiences had shaped and impacted who I was.

Going Beyond Self-Awareness

In last month’s edition, I introduced the idea that our greatest joys and deepest pains are experienced at the level of “who” we are—not “what” we do. We explored how self-awareness is essential to recognizing this dual reality and taking the first steps toward change.

But self-awareness alone isn’t enough. Recognizing patterns, identifying emotions, or knowing your triggers is only the beginning. What do you do with that awareness? How does it lead to actual growth or transformation?

This is where my proprietary approach to personal storytelling takes us beyond self-awareness. It transforms what we know about ourselves into actionable insights. My framework for personal storytelling gives us the tools to:

• Understand the meaning behind life’s events.
• Connect the dots between past experiences and present behaviors.
• Author who we are becoming through mindfulness, intentional choices, and decision making

This is not something you can learn anywhere else—it’s not simply “personal storytelling.” It’s the way I’ve designed and teach personal storytelling, using a transformative process that weaves psychological concepts through the elements, requirements, and components of storytelling.

The Power of My Proprietary Framework

Personal storytelling, as I teach it, goes beyond recounting what happened to us. Instead, it’s about using those events to highlight who we are and finding the meaning behind our experiences.

Stringing together facts about our lives is not personal storytelling. Retelling what happened, step by step, is not personal storytelling. My proprietary framework requires processing those events to uncover their meaning because that meaning is what provides value—not only to ourselves but also to our audience.

This meaning-making process hinges on two critical skills: introspection and self-reflection.

Introspection and Self-Reflection

Introspection is about looking inward. It’s examining your thoughts and feelings to understand how experiences have affected you. Self-reflection, on the other hand, is about stepping back to evaluate your actions, choices, and their impacts on yourself and others. Together, these practices help us deepen our understanding of who we are and how the events, experiences, and influences of others and society have shaped and impacted us.

Becoming a personal storyteller using my proprietary framework pulls you out of autopilot and into intentional exploration. It’s not journaling, though it shares similarities. And while it’s therapeutic, it’s not therapy.

Through my How to Become a Personal Storyteller course, you’ll learn to engage in introspection and self-reflection in a way that leads to clarity, understanding, and forward momentum.

Unlike rumination—a destructive cycle of overthinking that traps us in regret or negativity—my storytelling framework helps you revisit your past with purpose. By processing events into stories, you extract insights that shape your present and guide your future.

This is not just personal storytelling—it’s personal storytelling done differently, designed to deliver transformative outcomes.

The Ability to Course Correct Is In the Past

The past is not meant to be a weight that holds us back; it is a living teacher—a source of wisdom that can guide us forward. Too often, we look back at past mistakes, failures, or disappointments through a lens of regret or self-blame. We look at “what” went wrong and take it out on “who” we are.

This happens because we often conflate our actions or circumstances with our identity. A failed relationship, a missed opportunity, or a wrong decision becomes less about what happened and more about who we believe ourselves to be—flawed, incapable, or unworthy. These conclusions stick, shaping how we see ourselves and what we believe we’re capable of.

But what if we could approach our past differently?

Understanding the meaning of our experiences allows us to update the conclusions we've drawn, exchange limiting beliefs for more empowering ones, and recognize the patterns that have shaped our behaviors. When we revisit past events through the lens of personal storytelling, we are not just recalling what happened—we are reinterpreting what it meant for us.

Most people assume that meaning is fixed, but meaning evolves as we gain new insights, perspectives, and understanding. Through personal storytelling, we:

• Identify false narratives we may have internalized (e.g., "I’m not good enough," "I always fail," "I don’t belong").
• Recognize the underlying lessons hidden within our past experiences.
• Reframe difficult moments to see what they did for us, not to us.

This shift is powerful. Instead of being trapped by our past, we become empowered by it.

Consider this: The conclusions we made about ourselves, our relationships, or our abilities were formed with the knowledge we had at the time. But as we evolve, we gain new knowledge and experiences. If we never revisit and reinterpret the meaning of our past, we operate with outdated mindsets that no longer serve us.

The framework I’ve created through personal storytelling provides a structured way to course correct. It allows us to take new information, awareness, and self-reflection to update our understanding of why something happened for us, not to us.

It’s not about rewriting history—it’s about recognizing how we can reclaim ownership of our story. This is where transformation happens.

Closing Thought

If there’s one thing to take away from this, it’s that self-awareness is not the end goal—it’s the beginning. The real transformation happens when we take that awareness and use it to make meaning. Knowing who you are extends to understanding why you are—and using that understanding to consciously shape who you’re becoming.

In the next edition, I’ll share an example of how revisiting a past experience and uncovering its meaning helped me update an outdated mindset and break free from an old narrative. This is the kind of transformation that personal storytelling offers—and it’s something you can begin for yourself.

If you’re ready to start making meaning of your own experiences and gaining clarity about who you are, I encourage you to visit The World of Personal Storytelling School and Community. It’s the place to begin your journey of discovery, reflection, and connection. You’ll find the tools, support, and guidance to start transforming your past into a source of wisdom and empowerment.