THE VALUE OF LISTENING
Grace Krobo -Edusei
Certified executive leadership coach, trainer and speaker. Executive program director at Maxwell Leadership team. I am passionate and well resourced to help lift growth driven leaders higher in purpose and excellence.
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and the need to be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them"
-Ralph Nicols
Ways to Boost Your Active Listening Skills
Active listening is a critical skill that is essential for building strong relationships with others. It involves giving your full attention to the person speaking and understanding their message. If you find yourself struggling to stay focused or fully comprehend what others are saying, there are several ways to boost your active listening skills.
According to Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg from Harvard Business School, active listening has three components: cognitive, emotional, and behavioural.
Leadership consultants Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman make it clear that active listening is a lifelong journey. However, even the smallest improvements can dramatically enhance your listening abilities. They liken the process to that of a trampoline, where the listener propels the speaker's ideas with energy, acceleration, height, and amplification. Here are some tips to help you become a trampoline listener.
How to Practice Active Listening
1.???? Discover your Learning Style
Listening, one of the most fundamental human activities is often taken for granted. However, as Rebecca Minehart, Benjamin Symon, and Laura Rock point out, there's more to listening than meets the eye. In their research in the healthcare field, they have identified four distinct listening styles that one should be able to adapt to, depending on the speaker's needs.
It's crucial to reflect on one's default listening style. The four listening styles are as follows:
While you may have a preferred listening style, it's important to be aware of its limitations and adapt to the situation's specific requirements. Being mindful of different listening styles can enhance your ability to communicate effectively and build stronger relationships.
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2.???? Make an Active Choice to Listen Effectively
To ensure that you are hearing what is being said in a conversation, it is important to make a conscious choice about how to listen. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine the best approach:
?? Why do I need to listen right now?
As you engage in conversation, it is crucial to reflect on the goals of both parties involved. By doing this, you can determine the most effective way to listen at that moment. Whether a family member requires emotional support or a colleague seeks constructive criticism, it is important to use empathy and assess what the other person may need from the conversation. This will provide insight into how you can best listen at that particular moment, and potentially create a more meaningful exchange.
???? Who is the focus of attention in the conversation?
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The act of sharing personal experiences can be a potent way of creating a connection and validating others' emotions. Nevertheless, it's essential to concentrate on the speaker's message to ensure that they feel seen and heard. Often, people find it challenging to actively listen due to personal anxieties or concerns about their abilities. With time and effort, it is possible to quiet the internal monologue and make more space for empathizing with and comprehending another's point of view.
??? Why am I talking?
It's natural to contemplate a response while someone is speaking, but this can interfere with effective communication. To circumvent this, try listening objectively without any preconceived notions. This will allow you to fully understand the other person's perspective before formulating your thoughts.
However, don't let your attempts to be a better listener become a distraction. Eye contact, posture, and nodding are all nonverbal cues that can be challenging if you're not used to them. Instead, communicate your intentions to the other person and ask for their understanding and patience.
Remember to avoid taking over the conversation with your own opinions. Instead, ask questions to show that you're actively engaged and interested in their words. By remaining present and impartial, you'll be able to fully comprehend the message.
???? Am I still listening?
Do you find yourself tuning out during conversations? This is a frequent problem that is often caused by prematurely assuming you understand the speaker's point before they've finished talking. Also, trying to multitask while conversing can be a mistake. Although eliminating all distractions, including your phone, can be beneficial, it's equally vital to control internal distractions, such as your thoughts and emotions. A helpful technique is to use a mantra like "I can deal with that later. Right now, I'm here." Additionally, meditation can enhance your concentration. If you miss something crucial, don't pretend to know what the speaker said. Instead, it's preferable to interrupt and request clarification.
?? What am I missing?
Active listening means more than simply nodding along and making affirming sounds. It involves engaging in conversation by asking relevant questions that demonstrate not only that you heard them, but that you also understood what they said. Moreover, observing both verbal and nonverbal cues may help uncover underlying emotions or issues that the speaker may not have initially shared. Asking questions based on these signals can offer support to the speaker and lead to mutual understanding.
Imagine an employee expressing concern about presenting at an upcoming board meeting. While it may seem natural to offer reassurance and share personal experiences, it can often come across as dismissive and may not address the underlying issue. Instead, try showing that you're listening and understanding their situation. A better response would be, "I understand how you feel. When I started presenting, I was also nervous. What specifically is worrying you?" By acknowledging their feelings and asking open-ended questions, the conversation can become more meaningful and productive.
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Leaders must actively listen without a personal agenda, distraction, or judgment to fully comprehend feedback. They must work towards fostering an environment that prioritizes trust over hierarchy, where everyone feels comfortable sharing information, whether good or bad. Leaders must also establish opportunities and channels for feedback, ensuring all employees feel free to speak up. Since unexpected signals of danger or opportunity can arise from anywhere, leaders must be present and available to hear what their employees have to say.
In any conversation, active listening is crucial. By asking the right questions, you can increase your chances of gathering valuable information while simultaneously demonstrating that you are attentive to the speaker's needs. Research has revealed that individuals who engage in active listening are regarded as capable, friendly, and trustworthy.
Furthermore, active listening has a positive impact on the entire organization. There is a positive relationship between active listening behaviours and employees' perception of support from their managers, leading to increased job satisfaction and overall commitment.
Considering the advantages, it's clear that investing in improving your listening abilities is a wise decision.
Sources:
-Havard Business Review- Credit: Amy Gallo
-Dawn Yoder (GPS)
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