The Value of Interpersonal Leadership

Nelly has been a loyal employee at her company for the past 35 years. She started working right out of college and has always done things the same way at work and the same way her former superiors taught her. For as long as she’s known, there’s been a right way to lead and a wrong way to lead, with the right way being that more senior and experienced employees call the shots, and the younger, less experienced employees nod, put their heads down, and work. Nearing retirement, Nelly has found herself increasingly perplexed by the change in the workplace. Suddenly, new hires have requests from senior leaders and complain when they’re told what to do. Her frustration increases as she finds herself at a loss for what to do. Her team is scattered, none of them are on board with what she wants to work toward, and it feels like she has no control over her team.?

She comes home exhausted, complaining to her husband and two adult sons that “young people don’t know how to work” and that she feels like she’s losing her ability to lead. Her sons look at each other, and her eldest pipes in, “Mom, it’s not that young people don’t know how to work; we just operate differently and need our leaders to create the space and environment for us to grow. It seems counterintuitive, but that actually helps us perform better and inspires us to work harder.” Nelly stops to consider and says, “How do I do that?”

Nelly is certainly not alone in her struggle to adapt her leadership strategy. We’re seeing this change and this predicament across the world as companies scramble to accommodate for a generation with an entirely new way of being than we’ve seen before. However, as the world of the workforce changes, we’re not only seeing Gen Zs respond positively but members of all other generations as well. These leadership changes seem more human-centered now than they are Gen Z-centered.?

Before we dive too far into the research, let’s explore what strategy we’re talking about here. The method of leading Nelly’s eldest son offered is called “interpersonal leadership,” which is about “inspiring and enabling others to do their absolute best together to realize a meaningful and rewarding shared purpose,” as defined by this Forbes article. What’s extremely powerful about interpersonal leadership is that it starts from a place of individual alignment, or in other words, having all individuals find their passion within the shared mission to operate from a? driven place of excitement and reduce any slow-downs and uncommitted employees. The truth of the matter is, “[employees] are not going to be inspired by what matters to you. They’re going to be inspired by what matters to them” (Forbes). Transformation is inevitable when we can get everyone into that place of alignment.?

We’ve all heard the term “confidence is key,” and that’s the main component of interpersonal leadership as well. This strategy is being taken up by companies worldwide because though it requires us to change our way of being, it actually allows us to operate faster and more efficiently. Instead of having a few key people at the top who make decisions and delegate to the rest of the employees, all team members are encouraged to bring their genius to the table. However, for team members (especially less seasoned) to step up to the plate and bring everything they have, they need to feel confident first. As the famous saying goes, “‘They can because they think they can.’ Virgil” (Forbes), and it’s our job as leaders to inspire that confidence. Now, how we do that is “not about earning peoples’ confidence in you. It’s about helping them have confidence in themselves. True inspiration comes from within” (Forbes).?

An Important Foundation for Interpersonal Leadership

An essential first step to cultivating interpersonal leadership starts with presence. Not just physical presence (meaning showing up and being in the room) but also cognitive and emotional presence. “Presence doesn’t just happen between the ears, but also in the heart, in the gut, in the body to connect with the person or situation we’re in” (Marcel Daane). What this means is that presence goes way beyond the buzzword. Presence is more than showing up, being in the room, and listening. It’s about feeling, experiencing, and hearing. The first step to bringing presence into our leadership practice is learning to be present with ourselves first.

The reason presence is a chief part of interpersonal leadership is that “the more emotionally invested we are, the more stuck we get in our own story. We get stuck in what’s happening in the future or what’s happening in the past instead of what’s happening here” (Marcel Daane) which prevents us from 1) connecting with and inspiring our team (which we’ve established is a key part of success in interpersonal leadership), and 2) being able to move in a direction that will take us to our goals. It’s important to note that this emotional investment and “getting stuck in our own story” comes from a positive place it comes from a place that holds an immense amount of power: our excitement and passion. However, it’s essential that we channel that excitement and passion into empathy and connection in pursuit of a goal rather than anxiety and control.?

Presence enables us to let go of control, widen our view and see the most effective path possible. It also gives us room to guide our team in the same direction. When we practice presence and focus all of our energy on one project (which comes from a place of relaxation, not anxiety), we can work in a state of flow, resulting in more efficient work and less resistance. Our brain uses 20% of our body’s total energy (Scientific American), and when we channel (most of) that energy into our work, we can get a lot more done. Imagine what that would look like if we had 2 focused people using their energy towards a shared goal. Now 10? And 100? 1000? More? That’s where transformational change happens.?

Marcel and I go in-depth into the conversation around presence in leadership on our YouTube channel. If you’d like to hear more, check out and subscribe to our channel here.?

Now, the question of How?

Our world is changing rapidly; with it, so is how we work. From a new generation in the workplace to an unprecedented pandemic to the rise and growth of technology and social media, things are moving quicker than most of us can. The beauty of this change is that it permits us to redefine what work culture looks like; in fact, it’s a “great opportunity to forge a stronger, more cohesive, and more motivated workforce,” says Paul Tufano, CEO of AmeriHealth Caritas in this HBR article. This period of uncertainty is our one step backward to take two steps forward. It’s important that we take this time to “communicate messages of empathy as powerfully as [we] convey messages of unity and accountability” (HBR).

Ready to bring interpersonal leadership into your practice? Here are some steps to get started:

Get Present

Presence is a prerequisite to interpersonal leadership, and we must start here. Remember, we want to focus on a true presence that goes beyond the physical. Our focus here is to feel, experience, and hear. Before we get into a presence with others, start getting present with yourself. Take a few minutes out of every day to simply be. Sit still, let the tension in your body go, and give yourself permission to do nothing for the duration you decide. Experience what comes up: thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judging them. Just allow them to be.

Get Clear

A. Get clear on your mission.

Spend some time reflecting on what’s important to you. Why do you do the work you do? Beyond the paycheque and to-do list, what matters to you? Zone into what feels good and fulfilling here. What inspires you about your work?

B. Get clear on what’s important to your employees.

Once you’ve identified your mission, have meaningful conversations with your employees. Use your presence practice to show your true presence with your co-workers. Ask them the same questions you’ve asked yourself above (in your own words). Zone into what’s important to them, what feels good and fulfilling to them.

C. How does your mission line up with theirs?

Compare your mission with your employees’ mission. What unifies the two? What common ground do you all care about? Understanding this is essential to the next step.?

Lead with CARE

Identifying what’s important to your employees allows you to work from what matters to them. As mentioned above, employees will not be inspired by what matters to you. They’re going to be inspired by what matters to them, and therefore one of the easiest ways to inspire your team is to emphasize their passion and excitement in the work they’re doing in pursuit of your team's common goal.

Practice

As with every new skill, the best way to learn interpersonal leadership is to practice, practice, practice. You have the tools you need to venture into your new world of influence, it’s time to put it into action. “The way the brain learns is through practice, is through repetition” (Marcel Daane).?

With this new tool in your toolbox, the world of leadership awaits. Interpersonal leadership is one of many strong strategies in adjusting to our ever-changing workforce, with an emphasis on now due to the mass amounts of change we’ve seen in recent history and continue to see in our present world. This strategy is helping companies and organizations worldwide work faster and better (and not to mention with less resistance) as it pulls together all individuals' genius, motivations, and passions to work towards one goal. That’s transformational.?

Level V Partners Ltd is a boutique Executive Coaching firm by Marcel Daane, MSc, CSCS, PCC and Kilani Daane, NCC, ACC , a Father-Daughter Coaching Duo. We partner with providers and coaches worldwide to help you raise the bar in how your people work and perform together so that you can focus on what matters most, your company's bottom line.

Using a full suite of psychometric assessments to, leadership and culture surveys to, customized workshops, and coaching programs, you can find comfort in knowing that Level V Partners has a solution for every level of your organization that helps your people work even more effectively together no matter where they are based in the world.

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