The Value of Getting it Right. A view from Parents.

?The Bridge? is an adult learning journal for and by educators — which includes community members with an interest in young people?s learning. This first issue?would not be appropriately balanced if it didn?t include the voice and reflections of parents. In fact, we intend that every issue of ?The Bridge? will include articles by parents and community members who have experiences to share.

What it feels like when a school doesn’t understand your child?

Our daughter was previously in a local mainstream school with 1:1 support. She would regularly be separated from the other children in her class in order to receive various therapies and in order to carry out her learning. We knew she wasn?t happy because we had frequent reports of her pulling her learning assistants and other teaching staff's hair. She started stimming (self-stimulating behaviour) at this time by waving her arms around; this was evidently her way of coping with the experience of boredom and isolation and yet it marked her out as different, leading to yet more of a sense of alienation both on her part (and mine).

Our daughter?s difficulties in all areas such as speaking, attention, and large motor movements, were making it difficult for her to join in classroom activities. It was clear that she was suffering from anxiety.

She was being and would be increasingly failed by the mainstream education system

and I could see things would only get worse if we didn?t find another school for her. The staff within her school were clearly overwhelmed and they didn?t really know how to support us or how to deal with us. This was obvious from our meetings with them. They didn?t know how to help our daughter?s learning, nor did they know how to help manage her behaviour and it was evident that we represented a burden or a problem for them. I didn?t have much of a connection or common point of contact with other parents owing to our experiences being so different. Our daughter lacked confidence when she was in peer-group situations and she would often shrink back and stick to the adults in the room. I recall birthday parties and park playgrounds being particularly tense times for both of us.

How did you know when you had found the right school?

You can tell when a school knows what it is?doing. When we found Gesher, the corridors?were calm and distraction free and there was?an atmosphere of peace and contentment and?also a positive can-do attitude amongst the?staff.?It was clear to us that this was going to be the?best place for our daughter, not least because?her severe speech dyspraxia was making any?kind of integration into mainstream schooling?increasingly complicated.?We knew that people would take the time to?listen to her and to try to understand what she?was saying, that she would be encouraged to?communicate. She would be able to join in?group activities without being separated.?Immediately, we felt that Gesher would see us?not as a problem or hindrance, but rather as?an opportunity.

What it means to belong

When children are encouraged to feel a sense of belonging to their school, not just to their?class, that is really important. A whole-school?focus on inclusion, support and nurturing of?children means that children are encouraged?to learn good values and the importance of?taking responsibility for themselves and for?others. This is crucial.

I really appreciate here that therapy is?integrated, meaning no child is singled out or?isolated, while at the same time each student?has their own learning plan. Each child is?included and also cared for.

When your child (and you) are truly?seen and valued

Our daughter has flourished, blossomed?even, into a confident young girl who has a?strong sense of who she is. She is no longer?scared to try new things. Her ability to focus?and to give her attention to a task has grown?too. Her speaking is improving day by day.?She is so happy to be part of a wider?community. She wakes up each day with a?sense of purpose and curiosity which is?exactly how we should all be in life.

As parents, we no longer feel alone in the?experience of having a special needs child.

When we go through a difficult time, or we?have a specific issue, or we need some?practical help, we know that we have other?parents and teachers to whom we can reach?out. That has made a phenomenal difference?to our lives. We have started to feel a sense of?optimism about our future as a family.