The Value of a Corrective Lens

men?t?r (n) - an experienced and trusted adviser

I’ve had various mentors over the years – wonderfully generous people that acted as the “experienced and trusted advisers” in my life. Some of them have been pastors, some friends, others were fellow students, some retired senior leaders, some coworkers, and others former bosses. Oftentimes, it was passing conversation, or maybe a grabbing an occasional coffee together; most of the situations were not formal in any sense. I may end up sharing more of those moments, but I’ll start with one…

A prominent, informal “mentor session” was on Thanksgiving Eve 1999 while helping my parent’s contractor and longtime family friend, LK, put the almost-completed, remodeled kitchen back together for turkey time the next morning. The family helped with various odd jobs during an extensive home remodel while I was away at college for my sophomore year, so now it was my turn to help. Soon after I arrived late after a long drive up I-5 from Southern CA, LK and I spent from 10pm until about 7am putting the kitchen back together while the rest of the family slept…just talking. Deep into night, we talked through my break-up, family, faith, school, and the fact that my major was still undeclared.

I had considered math or music since those were the only areas in which I felt I showed any slightly-higher-than-average skill, but ultimately, I didn’t know “what I want to be when I grow up.” I didn’t really have much advisement or prep in selecting a school or the college experience; I only knew the directives to be “go” and “graduate”. Those around me were in touch with their aspirations and knew what they wanted, yet for me, the feeling of infinite career options seemingly paralyzed me from completing the basic task of writing a word or two on an application at the registrar’s office. It was as if writing the words “mathematics”, “music”, or any other majors was a lifelong commitment to some specific career. Attending college was a sacrifice and privilege, and I didn’t want to squander that opportunity by arbitrarily picking something that would have no direct impact on my career… whatever that would be.

Sitting on the cold kitchen floor, helping LK connect the dishwasher, he suggested, “You could do business…because everywhere you work will be at a business.” A pretty basic thought as this uncle-like figure who owned his own business and tried to demystify the slice of life's chapters for an apparently confused kid. And at that moment, in the middle of the night as I was downing cola to for ?a weight was lifted; I accepted the proposition and realized that selecting “business” would allow me flexibility in my career even if I didn’t know what I wanted to be.

This impromptu mentor session was just one of many over the years. A ridiculously, simple practicality to all of you who read this but an eye-opening moment to a kid who didn’t know what to expect from the years ahead. I had a new set of spectacles through which I could see a clear(er) future.

Over the last 20+ years, I've had the honor of being able to input into others, but fast-forward to earlier this year, I had the opportunity to participate in my company’s coaching program: a formal program that connects our summer interns with professionals in other parts of the organization to help as they are introduced to our organization.

I was paired up with a recent college graduate – the youngest intern of the summer cohort. She had previous work experience but described this as her first “real” job. Our first meeting was focused on introductions and her goals; what did she need and how could I help? Her request to me: that she could have a mentor.

She dove into her lack of experience and the fact that she was unaware of the expectations in the business world and how to navigate through the unknown. The fear of going into a meeting and not knowing the standard decorum was just the beginning. The mountains of (perceived) gaps and obstacles seemed quite big to her. To me, it was apparent that she was hired for a reason though she couldn’t see it.

Over the next few weeks, we discussed her strengths, gaps, goals, and the tactical steps to build from during the internship. Let me tell you: in the past 6 months, I’ve seen this young lady blossom! Being in a different part of the organization, I could only watch from a distance, but it was clear that her confidence and skills were growing which equated to tangible value and new ideas that she has brought to her team. As we moved further into the mentorship, I learned of some reasons for her lack of confidence. I felt it was my duty to clean the lenses through which she viewed her world.

After years of naysayers defining her potential, it was apparent how much that experience had blurred her vision of herself and potential. She graduated two years earlier than most and was the youngest intern in our region, yet she couldn’t see it. As she updated me on her projects and we compared those against her goals, I simply recounted her accomplishments back to her – reinforcing the value that her leaders and team saw in her diligent work. Eventually, she began to believe. She began to see her value and the potential to the point that she has proclaimed, “I am a different person now than I was earlier in the year.”

She did it. She did the work. She did the networking. She put herself out there to show the world the tour de force that she is. She faced her insecurities head-on and chose to overcome. I simply helped adjust her perspective so that she sees what those around her see. I firmly believe that she will be one of our organization’s leaders one day, and I’m thankful I was able to watch her beginning.

What is a mentor?

A mentor is many things, but at its core, I believe that a mentor is someone who helps another see their world, their possibilities, their potential more clearly - sometimes by word, sometimes by plan and sometimes by example.

To quote an ongoing mantra that my compadre, Elvis Rivera, CPPM and I frequently exchange: “You can’t be what you can’t see.”

Sometimes those around us just need an optometrist: to see inside what we don't, to see outside what we can't, to help make life a little clearer, to see a little further, to focus on the path ahead rather than looking behind, to take in the beauty of the forest rather than a fallen tree in our path.

That’s what LK did for me. That’s what I hope to do for those around me.

That’s what I hope you do for someone around you.