The Value of Coaching: Progress versus Winning

As many of you know I coach volleyball at the varsity boys level for high school and for club volleyball for Milwaukee Volleyball Club. I coach a 12-year-old team and many people simply don't want to coach that group because they're so young and you just simply cannot run very advanced things when it comes to the this age group as they are just learning the sport. As with anything it's tough to even field a team as these kids have so many interests these days but for the most part the team has been unbelievably fun to coach and a great group of kids. I literally have not witnessed one arduous or negative interaction between them. Yesterday was our final Tournament of the year and needless to say we have struggled all year long. Our first match was against Sting who is coached by a wonderful lady by the name of Mary. She is kind and she is fun and she was unbelievably complementary of our team. We lost 25 to 23 and 25 to 22. Our kids and parents were thrilled as this team which is a very good team and well coached clobbered us earlier in the year 25 to 8 and 25 to 10. The rest of the day we won a couple more Sets but we were never blown out. the kids had fun and finally experienced the sport at the level I wanted all your long. Quality passing, unbelievable setting, and for the first time we literally were hitting the ball hard almost every single play. Our parents were thrilled and cheering more than they were ever allowed to during the course of the year.

A Picture of my kids on how they literally interacted with each other all year long!

This age group typically doesn't have large participation so there were only four for teams and we took last. As our last match ended my fellow coach and I ended up getting hugs from the kid saying thank you for everything we had done. The parents had written us a nice card sent thank you for all we had done. I had four parents write me personal notes on how much their kids self-esteem improved during the year not only in volleyball but it was also transferred to things like other sports and school. As we begin to watch the last match I noticed a team who was playing to take first place. Their kids were not smiling. The parents were seated behind me seemed upset and were complaining. It hit me! The coach was literally gritting his teeth and getting in kids faces what I would say from all perception I viewed for this sole objective of winning. After they want to match in which I was watching one of the kids look so distraught and I thought to myself what's wrong with this picture? The kid just one but he looked angry and disappointed. I am all for winning but I'm also all for learning the lessons outside of winning. Your thoughts?