The Value of Value

I am going to share something deeply personal to me, but it has given me clarity. It taught me the true meaning of value and how to apply it to life. So, hang in there as I explain the whole story to then come full circle.

My husband and I have two incredible daughters, but what most people do not know is they were conceived via IVF (invitro fertilization). We had not a chance of conceiving them through the natural methods and looked to IVF. The news was devastating. This journey began more than 6 years ago, and I just went through my fourth and final IVF cycle to hopefully have our third child. It has been emotional, exhausting, expensive and hard. I have been through 5 rounds of drug protocols, 4 embryo transfers, 2 c-sections and 1 miscarriage to be where I am today. In the world of infertility, I am a complete success story in all of that, and I am grateful for it.

I did all of this with the same doctor (who will remain anonymous). I started at one clinic and went through our egg pull, and two embryo transfers, one resulting in my oldest daughter and one in a miscarriage. In that time what I remember most were two people, my IVF nurse, and the phlebotomist (blood draw lady). The attention, compassion, and empathy I received were invaluable from these two individuals. The excitement when they knew I was finally pregnant and how they truly shared in my joy is something that still brings tears to my eyes to this day. I have kept every email from that nurse.

Fast forward to 2018, my doctor had left the clinic and I being the internet sleuth that I am discovered where she had landed. Loved her straightforward nature, willingness to always answer all questions when she was in the room with me; I followed her. Thinking she got me pregnant, she can do it again.

One of the appeals was this new clinic cost far less than the other. This was very important to me as I no longer had insurance coverage for infertility. So, we were self-paying. For as progressive as Colorado is on many things, this is not a mandated coverage, which blows my mind, but I digress. ?They advertised as being lower cost on their website and being in finance I like to spend my money wisely.

So, I go through this first transfer at this new clinic, and while they had the process dialed in it lacked the people I loved from the other clinic, but all around a good experience because my doctor is the Woman. We were blessed with our youngest daughter.

Fast forward 2021. Continuing in that same line of thinking my doctor is the best, it worked out well here last time, I reached out saying I am ready for our last and final embryo. From there the process has been a complete and utter disaster. My doctor still attentive and answering questions when we are in a visit together, but the people surrounding her, and the processes and procedures are atrocious. I was forgotten about when my original nurse quit. I was told about a medication while I was on a work trip that I needed to start that day, never had a single person review my timeline or medication protocols. Not logging that I had paid for things that I had indeed paid for, and then bugging me to pay again. When I reached out the other day to have someone call me at 8 am I didn’t hear back until a second callback at 4:15 pm and an email to finally hear from someone at 5:45 PM. I have had to send scathing emails on two occasions copying my doctor to get someone to pick up the phone to call me. I have been met with a lack of empathy and understanding at every step. The only thing that saved me was me ,and being the advocate for myself that I am and having had gone through this process to know the general of this is how it would work.

Meanwhile, that old nurse from the other clinic reached out to me via social media saying she cannot believe how far I have come and how beautiful my family was. When I realized I lost the first picture of my oldest daughter (as an embryo) I reached out via the general request email of the first clinic on Friday night to see if by chance they it had, Monday at 8:09 am I had that picture in my email. No questions asked.

I told you this was deeply personal.

So why should this matter to you?

At first glance this is a classic case of you get what you pay for, but is it? I got the same ultimate outcome from both, my children.

By going to the low-cost provider, I became a number, someone on a check list if they remembered to check that list. I was no longer a woman going through something so tremendously hard. I was a hopefully statistic of a good outcome. This being lower cost, they need to run more people through to meet their revenue and growth goals and to also improve their outcomes most likely.

At the first clinic, while yes, a statistic, I was a person. My feelings mattered. My fears were real and addressed. Every detail was reviewed with me. I was responded to in a timely manner because they know that this matters to me more than anything. I was not rushed, people were always available to talk to, even after hours. I was seen.

I did not realize that difference until that nurse reached out to me on social media. She had no reason to do so other than because she cares deeply about people starting families. Because she does not work for a lower cost clinic, they can afford to hire these people who truly care and are invested in what they do.

In paying just a little more I could have had what I valued most, well second most, in this whole process, someone caring for me. If I could go back and do it again, I would ask more questions and take a deep look at what was important to me in that whole process to make my choice on that. ?Also, most likely not go with the lowest cost option.

So, the next time you are looking to do something that is important to you be it, hire a wedding photographer, invest your money, hire a doctor, or buy a product even, ask yourself what is the value you value in this service or good? Are you looking for cheapest because you do not mind being a number, or do you need more? What do you truly want out of the experience?

We named our practice after this concept, Valorem means value. This has always been an important thing to our team and who I am as a person. However, this deeply personal lesson has provided me an even deeper roadmap in how I move forward both professionally in providing the highest value to my clients and personally in how I make choices moving forward.

If you are not seeing value what is the point after all? Do you want just the sprinkles or the whole cake, too?