Valentine's Day Love it or Loathe it?

So it’s February, and of course that means Valentine’s Day. What are your thoughts about this highly commercialised and much advertised day? Do you love it or can’t be bothered? Or are you single and the day makes you feel a lot of pressure about your single state?

Valentine’s Day does bring up many different emotions and it’s good to understand how you feel about it and why. The card, flower, and gift industry is fully geared up to make you feel not good enough if you don’t fully embrace the day and shower your partner with lots of material goodies. Is it a pressure many of us feel obliged to participate in? What about the other 364 days of the year?

My point here is that maintaining a healthy and loving relationship needs a freely given, concerted effort to make sure that your partner feels valued and appreciated, all year not only on February the 14th. What often happens in relationships is that with time each partner begins to feel very comfortable, and although this is a positive thing unless you’re mindful it can often slip into taking each other for granted. It’s easy to get caught up in the outside world with all the demands on your time, we live in very fast paced times and most of us are struggling simply to get everything done that we need to do in a day. It’s understandable, however this can often be the death knell of a relationship because it is literally starved of attention.

When I’m coaching my clients I always ask then to write down 5 life priorities and to check to see where your relationship comes in the 5. How important is your intimate relationship to you? If it’s in your list of priorities you need to make sure you create space for it in your life. Date nights are good and should ideally be scheduled in so you actually get to go out on them, however what about the other days? Taking time, putting away your phones, switching off all screens and simply sitting down and checking in with each other, is worth its weight in gold. It’s something to normalise in your daily routine and something to look forward to. A small but regular effort will dramatically improve the quality of your relationship, isn’t that worth it?

Now if your single, Valentine’s Day can be something that you dread, as other people’s relationships are paraded in front of you and feelings of low self-esteem can sneak up on you when you least expect it. So it’s a good idea to do something special for you, treat yourself, you deserve it! It’s not about being second best, it’s about celebrating yourself, giving yourself credit and holding your head up high. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, it gives you precious time for yourself and is very valuable in getting to know yourself again, especially if you’re coming our of a long term relationship. Make the choice to enjoy yourself in the month of February and celebrate how far you’ve come!

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day happily and let your ever after work itself out.” Mandy Hale

Now if you’re a person who loves Valentine’s Day, being showered with love and affection, good for you and I’m wishing you a fabulous day. All I ask is that you also prioritise your relationship and decide to take the time to make sure your partner feels valued and appreciated all year round. It’s what good loving is all about!

Wishing you all a life affirming and good feeling Valentine’s Day!