This Valentine's Day, Let's Redefine Self-Love: A Love Letter to Your Wellbeing

This Valentine's Day, Let's Redefine Self-Love: A Love Letter to Your Wellbeing

On this day of celebrating love, I want to share a different perspective on romance - one that starts with the most fundamental relationship in your life: the one with yourself.

Remember when we were young, and "being selfish" was considered a cardinal sin? We were taught to always put others first, to be the giver, the helper, the shoulder to lean on. But here's a thought that transformed my understanding of self-love: just like a car can't run on an empty tank, we can't pour from an empty cup.

Last year, I shared my thoughts about self-love, and today, the message feels even more relevant. In our fast-paced world, where burnout is becoming increasingly common, prioritizing yourself isn't just a luxury - it's a necessity for survival and growth.

Think about these scenarios:

  • You're exhausted but still say "yes" to another commitment
  • You skip lunch to finish "just one more task"
  • You postpone your self-care routine because someone else needs you
  • You feel guilty for taking a mental health day

Sound familiar? I've been there too. But here's what I've learned: True self-love isn't about being self-centered. It's about creating a healthy foundation that allows you to be fully present and genuinely helpful to others. It's like the airplane oxygen mask principle - you need to secure your own before helping others.

The Science Behind Self-Love: Research from the University of California suggests that while altruism might be our brain's default setting, constant self-sacrifice can lead to:

Increased stress levels ? Emotional exhaustion ? Decreased productivity ? Compromised immune system ? Strained relationships


Here's How to Start Your Self-Love Journey:

  1. Set Boundaries Without Guilt Remember: "No" is a complete sentence. You don't always need to explain your limits.
  2. Create Daily Self-Care Rituals Even 10 minutes of intentional me-time can shift your entire day's energy.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion Talk to yourself as you would to your best friend - with kindness and understanding.
  4. Honor Your Needs Listen to your body and mind when they ask for rest, nourishment, or connection.
  5. Celebrate Your Wins Keep a "victory journal" - no achievement is too small to acknowledge.


The Impact of Self-Love

When you prioritize your well-being, something magical happens. Your relationships improve because you're operating from a place of fullness rather than depletion. Your work becomes more effective because you're bringing your best self to the table. Your joy becomes more authentic because it's coming from a genuine place of abundance.

This Valentine's Day, I challenge you to:

  • Schedule one non-negotiable self-care activity
  • Write down three things you love about yourself
  • Set one boundary that you've been avoiding
  • Give yourself permission to rest without guilt
  • Invest in something that nurtures your growth

Remember: Self-love isn't selfish; it's essential. It's not about excluding others; it's about including yourself in your circle of care. It's not about becoming self-centered; it's about becoming self-aware. As we celebrate love today, let's expand our definition to include the most fundamental relationship we'll ever have - the one with ourselves. Because when you truly love and accept yourself, you become capable of giving and receiving love in its purest, most authentic form.

Happy Valentine's Day! May your journey of self-love lead you to the most fulfilling relationships - starting with the one in the mirror. ??

What's one act of self-love you're committing to today?

P.S. Your well-being matters, today and every day. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself first.



Basel Kirmani, CESGA

Educator | Value creation via sustainability | Sustainable UX

1 周

Great article. One concrete tip that works for me as a fairly disciplined person: I live by my calendar. If I don't actively make time for self-care, it tends to slip away. Calendar blocking lunch breaks, workouts and strolls helps me actually do the important work of taking care of myself!

Yiu Wa HO

IT Manager at ConnectedGroup

2 周

Thanks for sharing

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