This Valentine’s Day, Connect With The Seasons

This February, my husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. For nearly two decades, I’ve had a special reason to connect this month with romantic love. A few years ago, however, he traveled around Valentine’s Day, so I decided to date myself and enjoy a beautiful outdoor lunch.

As I sat there observing my surroundings and reminiscing about life while waiting for my food to arrive, I became aware of the cooler temperature. Without my partner by my side, I closed my eyes and allowed the chilly air to wash over me.

At that moment, I was reminded that, despite all of the happy couples nearby, Valentine’s Day is not about expensive chocolates or drugstore greeting cards. It’s not even about romantic love.

Valentine’s Day Reminds Us That Spring is Coming

While the exact identity of St. Valentine is still up for debate, the holiday has its origins in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia and the Pagan holiday Imbolc, also known as St. Brigid’s day. 

While both ancient festivals took place in February, Imbolc marked the halfway point between the winter solstice and the spring equinox. It is one of eight festivals on the Druid solar calendar “marking the eight seasonal points of the ancient and indigenous western European holiday tradition.” 

Cultures worldwide engage in similar celebrations around this time of year. In Germany, we have the colorful costumes and jam-filled donuts of the K?lner Karneval between Lent and Ash Wednesday. When I was in Uruguay, I danced and walked with the Candombe players during their Carnival, from mid-January to late February.

These festivals all incorporate music, dance, food, dress, and ritual to remind us that spring is right around the corner. But these days, it’s easy to forget that. Covid has made large gatherings next to impossible. In the northern hemisphere, right now, days are short, sunlight is scarce, and you may be inundated by rain or snow. 

However, there is an answer if you’re looking for an antidote to what feels like an endless winter.

Spend Valentine’s Day in Nature

Writer Katherine May explores what it means to truly be with the seasons in her excellent book, Wintering. Part memoir, part quest to understand winter’s power, May’s book is a treatise on using the colder months to prepare for a fresh start in spring.

But winter isn’t just about hibernation. While it might feel like nothing is growing right now, nature is fully alive in the winter months. Everything around you is growing and mating and falling in love.

Take a walk outside with open senses, and you’ll notice the first flowers breaching the earth. In Germany, snowdrops are about to burst forth. Here in North America, you might begin to see crocuses within the next few weeks. 

Open Up All of Your Senses

As I’ve written in previous posts, the pandemic caused us to lose many of our daily markers. Luckily, when our commutes, impromptu meetings, and gym time fell away, nature remained. But to experience them, you have to get outside and use all of your senses.

• Smell: Ask yourself what smells you associate with this time of the year, then recreate those smells in your space. Or go outside and take in the particular scent when the frost is just beginning to melt.
• Taste: Go to the farmer’s market and buy what’s in season. Depending on where you are, that might be winter greens, citrus, or root vegetables. Ask your farmer for a recommendation and suggestions on how to prepare what you buy.
• Touch: The most beautiful way to explore touch is to go out early in the morning. Tune into the difference between the coolness of the night and the warmth of the day.
• Sight: Look for the first buds pushing out of the ground and the blooms starting on trees. Pay attention to the changing colors or how your regular hike is shifting as the weather changes.
• Sound: Open your windows and listen to the birdcall. If at all possible, make your way to a body of water and listen to the waves. You can also put on music that calls to mind this time of year.

Celebrate the Emotional Rites of Spring

Just as the seasons clue us into physical changes we need to make – take the sweaters out of storage, pack up the Christmas ornaments, get your gardening supplies out of the garage – they also remind us that we need to tend to our emotional house.

I gave the Tree of Life meditation to a group of women last month, and the question I asked before we began was, “What did you cherish in 2020, and how can you bring that into the new year.”

This question is worth revisiting on Valentine’s Day. Ask yourself what you want to keep and what you can afford to let go of as you move into the next season and beyond. 

Remember, spring cleaning isn’t just about opening the windows so you can see the dust on your furniture. It’s about letting light into every corner of your life. 

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The Wisdom of Saying No - Coaching Program