Valentine's Day as the Celebration of Love, Lies, and Lamentations

Ah, Valentine’s Day! That one day in the calendar when love is not only expected but also monetized, exaggerated, and, quite frankly, weaponised. A day when the air is thick with the scent of overpriced roses, the sound of heartbeats syncing to cash register beeps, and the undeniable reality that men are about to suffer in ways both predictable and tragic.

Yes, dear readers, as the world prepares to be painted in 50 shades of red, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the real heroes of this festivity; the men. While the world sings praises of love and romance, these valiant souls are bracing themselves for the financial, emotional, and sometimes, existential turmoil that February 14th brings.

The Burden of the Giver

Men, let’s be honest. Valentine’s Day is not our day; it never has been. We are the ones on the battlefield, armed with wallets, credit cards, and desperate prayers for an available dinner reservation. The weight of expectations is crushing. Chocolates? Not just any chocolate, Belgian. Flowers? Not those wilting things from the gas station, exquisite roses with a poetic note. Jewelry? Of course, because nothing says “I love you” like an expensive rock that could fund two months’ rent.

Meanwhile, what do most men get in return? A half-hearted “Thank you, babe,” a hug, and if the stars align, a generic cologne set that was picked up last minute from a clearance shelf. Ah, the romance!

The Receivers of the Bounty

Then, we have the ladies, our beloved queens, the deserving recipients of our labor. They sit back and wait, knowing full well that their only duty on this day is to be present and to accept the treasures bestowed upon them.

Many will receive flowers that will die in three days, chocolates that will sabotage their diet, and dinner invitations to places they wouldn’t even glance at on a normal day. But on Valentine’s, oh, it’s a ‘dream date.’ Let’s not forget those who will proudly flaunt their gifts on social media, making sure the world knows that they, too, are loved, because nothing screams true love like validation from 500 strangers on Instagram.

The Heartbreak Festival

Ah, but wait! Valentine’s Day is not all joy and romance. For some, it is the annual heartbreak festival. The day when the unlucky ones receive no gifts, no calls, no texts, and not even a fake “Hey stranger” from a forgotten fling. These are the ghosts of relationships past, the unfortunate souls who believed they mattered, until silence confirmed otherwise.

And then we have the true circus, those caught in the web of multiple relationships. The men and women juggling several “significant others,” each demanding their moment of attention. Unfortunately, time, money, and logistics do not bend to the whims of deceit. You can’t be at three dinner dates at the same time, nor can you afford to buy five different necklaces without making a financial dent deep enough to reconsider your life choices.

On this day, lovers turn into private investigators, tracking down their partners like hounds. Suspicious text messages are analysed like national security threats, social media posts are dissected for hidden meanings, and God forbid your phone dies, you’re immediately labelled a cheater.

The Forgotten Ones: The Solo Celebrators

And then, my dear friends, there is us, the ones who have no stake in this fraudulent holiday. No last minute rush for gifts, no awkward dinner reservations, no heartache from ignored messages. For us, Valentine’s is a day like any other. A day when our sisters, mothers, and perhaps our aunts receive our silent prayers and warm wishes.

We, the singletons, have the freedom to mock the madness from a distance. While others are drowning in stress, we are watching reruns of our favourite shows, eating?nyama choma, and reminding ourselves that true love does not require reservations at a five-star restaurant.

The Reality Check

But in all honesty, what does Valentine’s Day mean? Should love be measured by the extravagance of a gift? Should loyalty be proven by a dinner at an overpriced venue? Why must love have a price tag?

Perhaps, amid the chaos, we can take a step back and remember that love is not about gifts, flowers, or grand gestures. It is about consistency, kindness, and genuine appreciation. If you only express love on February 14th, then perhaps your love is as artificial as the plastic roses sold at the street corner.

So, as this great day of love approaches, take a moment to reflect. Whether you are celebrating, mourning, or dodging the bullet, remember: love is not about a single day. It is about the little moments, the quiet sacrifices, and the laughter shared in between.

And for the men, may your wallets survive, your efforts be appreciated, and your sanity remain intact. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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