Vachana Jayaram | There Is No Failure. Only Feedback.

Feedback. You would hear this word more often around the performance review cycles than ever! Unfortunately, feedback has a very negative connotation too. Feedback does not mean listing the things that have gone right or wrong. Feedback does not mean only appreciating someone for a job well done. Feedback is a mechanism that provides us with information about how we are perceived by others, which can help us to better understand our strengths and weaknesses, and identify blind spots or areas for improvement.

Feedback must be constructive. Feedback must be meaningful. Feedback must be helpful. Feedback must be motivating or inspiring to strive for better.

Appreciating people will work more as a reassurance that they know their job well, however, constructive criticism can be more useful for a person's overall growth.?

Feedback is the most crucial element which helps us introspect, learn and grow.?You must surround yourself with people who give you feedback. For this to happen, you must be open to receiving feedback. You must take the time to understand, and reflect upon and once you find value in it, incorporate the inputs received.

That’s the only way to grow - be it in a relationship, in an organization or even to be a good human.?

You may get defensive saying “I’m my worst critic and I don’t need another person pointing at my shortcomings.” That’s not true. We could be overtly critical of our work and may not know a way forward. Seeking feedback from trusted people will help us identify and bridge the gap.?

First of all, there are very few people who would bother to share any feedback with us. Out of the ones who do share, there’s very little constructive input that can be put to practical use. So, I’d lap up every feedback that comes my way. It’ll also help you identify the type of people you would want to surround yourself with.?

How does one give or seek feedback in different setups??

Well, it’s not easy for everyone to give or seek feedback. When we receive criticism as feedback, it can be difficult to digest but it is important to remember that constructive feedback is not a personal attack, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow. By considering the feedback and using it to improve our behaviour or skills we can develop a more positive self-image and gain confidence in our abilities. Similarly, by offering constructive feedback thoughtfully and respectfully, we can build stronger relationships with others and gain a better understanding of our values and beliefs.

In the workplace, feedback is essential for professional development. It can help us to identify areas where we need to improve our skills or knowledge and it also gives us direction for how to do so. By actively seeking out feedback from colleagues or supervisors, we can demonstrate a willingness to learn and grow, which can help to enhance our professional reputation and self-image.

In social situations, feedback can help us to better understand how our behaviour and actions are perceived by others. This can be especially important when navigating new social situations, as we may not be aware of social norms or expectations. By receiving feedback and adjusting our behaviour accordingly, we can improve our social skills and build more positive relationships with others.

In personal relationships, feedback can play a critical role in communication and building stronger relations. By giving and receiving feedback, we can better understand each other's needs and preferences which can lead to more fulfilling and satisfying relationships.

Practice what you preach. If you are not practising the advice you are casually strewing around, people will soon stop listening to you or following your advice. Similarly, if you are not following a trusted person’s advice, it can be considered as being disrespectful to the time and effort they have invested in you.?

People may have different ways of receiving and using feedback and being aware of one's personality traits and tendencies can help understand how feedback may be perceived and used to improve one's self-image. Here are some examples:

1. Openness to feedback: People who are high in openness tend to be more receptive to feedback and may see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. They may take constructive criticism in their stride and use it to improve their performance.
2. Defensiveness: Individuals who are defensive in nature may struggle with feedback as they may perceive it as an attack on their abilities or character. They may become resistant to change and may not take the feedback seriously.
3. Perfectionism: Those who have a perfectionistic personality may struggle with feedback that points out flaws or mistakes. They may be overly critical of themselves and take feedback as a sign of failure, which can negatively impact their self-image.
4. Extraversion: People who are more extroverted may seek out feedback from others and may be comfortable with receiving feedback in group settings. They may use feedback as an opportunity to collaborate and work with others towards a common goal.
5. Neuroticism: Those who are high in neuroticism may be more sensitive to feedback and may struggle with criticism. They may experience anxiety or negative emotions in response to feedback, which can make it difficult for them to use the feedback constructively.

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body; it calls attention to the development of an unhealthy state of things. If it is heeded in time, danger may be averted; if it is suppressed, a fatal distemper may develop." ― Winston Churchill

Click the links below to read previously posted articles        

1. Self-images: Their interactions and the impact ?
2. The impact of childhood experiences
3. Are self-esteem and self-image the same?
4. Success doesn't equate to happiness - Story of Deepika Padukone
5. 5 Pointers that help you embrace change
6. Being your own cheerleader during minor setbacks
7. What's in a name? A lot more than you think
8. Top 3 reasons we need a Coach
9. Comparison is the thief of joy
10. How much thinking is overthinking?
11. Recent Post -?Adversity introduces a man to himself.

In the next few weeks, I'd be covering the following topics.

• 5 pointers that help find ourselves
• We know the 'Why'. Let's focus on the 'How'
• 'Find Your True North' - A keynote speech - Registrations will be opened shortly

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Did you enjoy this week's newsletter and feel you have learnt something about the journey of self-discovery towards aligning with your true self and leading a meaningful life? If yes, please subscribe to the newsletter and share your thoughts and comments.?

Signing off,

Vachana Jayaram