V.9. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, why do we not look deeper into our own?
A Journeyman’s Journal
Following on from last months revelations and given the context of self transformation that was highlighted, I want to develop our narrative towards one of the pulling forces that can lead to us seeking refuge among congregations of other disparate souls through religious salvation. This topic is an earnest one that has significant meaning to many people, myself included; made relevant by Movember and somewhat Remembrance Day on the 11th too, as an occasion of awareness for men’s mental health. Not to discredit the mental health of women in the slightest, for we are each one and the same. In the past several years two close friends and prominent local figures in my community were robbed of their fortuity, becoming so overwhelmed by their woes that their families have now and forever been afflicted by the anguish of their suicides. Both were formerly members of my local rugby club in their younger days, and as a fierce friend of my younger brother and another closely associated fellow, I had the immense pleasure of coaching and playing alongside them both. This blog and indeed a motivation of my entire ambition, is in sum dedicated to their memories as an effort to prevent the same cruel fate occurring to others.
In memoriam of Elliot Griffin (1996-2017) & Samuel Lane (1995-2019).
Statistically speaking, suicide is still the biggest killer of men under 45 in the United Kingdom. Worldwide, over 700,000 people a year are devoid of hope enough to commit suicide, with it currently being the fourth leading cause of death for 15-29 year olds. When the age demographics are expanded suicide becomes the third leading cause of death for the aged 12-18 demographic, and the second leading cause of death between ages 10-24. Studies showing that at least 90% of teens who kill themselves have some type of mental health problem. That means every 40 seconds someone else loses enough hope to succumb to suicide. By the time you’ve finished reading this blog, at least 13 people will have ended their own life. For no reason other than we, as communities, are failing them.
The leading cause of ill health, disability and consequentially suicide is depression, affecting more than an anticipated 280 million people worldwide (and potentially many, many more). That equates to an estimated 3.8% of the population being affected, including 5.0% of adults increasing to 5.7% of over 60’s - which you can be sure as a shave is attributed to loneliness and isolation. As food for thought, there are currently more than 600 million people aged over 65 around the world; by the year 2050, it is estimated there will be 1.5 billion. In relative proportions we have the personnel to provide 1 psychiatrist to every 1.5 million people on the planet today, suggesting that nearly 90% of people will never receive the care they need. To put things into perspective, over 6 million people in England received antidepressants in the three months leading up to September, the highest figure ever on record. I don’t care who you are or what you think your responsibilities or motives may be - we all have a role to play in being the solution.
But what is depression, and how does it feel if you haven’t yet experienced its ominous, infiltrating and debilitating presence? Depression is more than just a state of unhappiness, it is fundamentally an absence of vitality inducing crippling anxieties upon an individual. Depression in itself is akin to a slower way of being dead, or else a sure enough pathway to ending up there if left un-nurtured.
Anxiety is dreaming of running away, but your feet become like floating pales in a dense fog that won’t allow you to wade fast enough. It’s when you try to strike an assailant in a lucid expression of fear, but your punches feel like scourging your way through melted rubber and you fail despite your desperation. Anxiety makes self expression feel like you are pushing parts of your soul out of through your own skin. Which figuratively, you kind of are ... Except your mindset makes you hypercritical of every idiosyncratic tendency that defines you. It’s being afraid all the time, but not knowing what it is exactly that you’re afraid of.
Depression is the trigger that usually leads to anxiety as its effect. Typically caused by a constant or consistent struggle for possession of an intrinsic basis, value or connection - leading to confusion over an outcome. If caused by material desires however there is little sympathy, unless as a result of desperation or survival. This confusion commences an abject process of introspection, questioning your handling of the controllables in the situation as well as future events thereafter. Without social grounding it can become a ruthlessly neglectful internal conflict, leading to the sense of helplessness that manifests as our anxieties. In which one micro analyses every minutiae of identity or activity they will ever commit as a begrudging burden of banal obligation. It is indeed the embodiment of unwilling human stagnation.
In depressed people there are actual physical changes that occur in the brain too, affecting different regions individually as well as the composition and functionality?of neurones. The hippocampus is alleged to be the most significantly affected region of the brain, where prolonged states of suffering actually cause a substantial reduction of grey matter. The hippocampus quite detrimentally associated to learning and memory, in part evidencing a firm relationship between depression and dementia. A study published in The Journal of Neuroscience used fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) to show that on average the hippocampus was 9% to 13% smaller in depressed women compared with those who were not. Hopefully thus proving the importance of urgency in the treatment of depression, as it monopolises a chain reaction of further declining general health.
Other associated regions that are said to be affected include the amygdala, responsible for anger, pleasure, sorrow and fear; and the thalamus, coordinating speech, behaviour, movements and thinking. Activity in the amygdala is noted to be heightened among depressed people and in fact remains in a prolonged state of activity even after being relieved of depression. The thalamus helps link sensory input to pleasant and unpleasant feelings, and it is suspected a malfunction occurs in this relationship - especially among those with bipolar. All in all these combined reactions can result in memory problems, clouded thinking, guilt, hopelessness, languishing, insomnia, loss of appetite and further anxiety. You might even also begin to move or talk slower and overreact to negative emotions.
Experts have also found people who have experienced major depressive episodes considered catatonic, express high levels of translocator proteins. These proteins are typical of brain inflammation, however it is unclear whether depression or inflammation occurs first. The same studies expressed this is most likely in people who have been left untreated over a sustained period of time, usually over 10 years or longer. This further exacerbates the likelihood of killing brain cells, preventing new growth and speeding up ageing. It even appears there is a bidirectional relationship between depression and wider neurological disorders, those associated showing higher risk of developing epilepsy, migraines, strokes and Parkinson’s disease, as well as the aforementioned dementia.?
If you or someone you know are currently victim of one or both of these states of suffering, please know that there is a way out. Depression is not a malfunction, it’s a signal telling you something is not meeting your specific needs. Understanding exactly which of your needs aren’t being met is a pathway to remedying the causes of your afflictions. Scientifically there are 9 clinically recognised causes of depression, 7 of which are social and 2 of which are biological. They cover anything from abuse, conflict, violence, isolation, loneliness, control, nature, nurture, belonging, meaning, purpose, values and even the future. They are:
Socially;
Biologically;
8. 37% possibility of biologically inherited depression, however must be triggered by social forces??- there is no single ‘depression gene’, but there is a particular variant of a gene called 5-HTT that significantly increases your vulnerability to depression
9. Declining neuroplasticity or damaged neural pathways?
In learning that the majority of causes for depression are social, with even its biological stimulus being socially activated - I would hope this somewhat discredits the arcane and draconian chemical, surgical or electrical treatments used to deal with depression. What depressed individuals need, is to be talked to with the respect and dignity as though they belong in that exact moment. That doesn’t mean you inherit direct responsibility for their welfare just because you expressed your consideration. Nor that you’re necessarily trying to fix them. Such an impression of expectation would only add pressure, leading to them becoming more depressed when they feel as though they are disappointing you. Words aren’t the most important thing; your presence is. Listening simply helps the afflicted articulate and therefore understand their own pain.
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Psychological illness can easily intensify to become identity, as it manifests in our speech and actions through our hesitations. But what even is identity? Our understanding of ourself? How our family perceive us, or even wider social acceptance? Who must we prove our identity to in order to be deemed adequate? To quote Andrew Solomon, a writer and lecturer who covers politics, culture and psychology “What do we validate, and what do we cure? People engage with the life they have, and they don’t want to be cured. It’s our differences and our negotiation of difference that unites us.” - he speaks beautifully on his own personal experience of depression and helping the people he has worked with on his journey. He goes on further to say “If you were married to someone and they died and you thought ‘that’s okay, I’ll find another one’ it wouldn’t be love as we know it. There’s no such thing without the anticipation of loss, and that spectre of despair can be the engine of intimacy.” What he is indirectly telling us, is to meet people where they are, embrace the strange and love them unconditionally.
It is crucial to be considerate when someone commits to behaviours or judgements that might seem abnormal to others, as they are usually acting within a clear intention to protect themselves from further vulnerability. You have to be aware that any individual could potentially be fighting an invisible war in their own head, that quite literally affects everything they might do or say. Talking about your own experiences of vulnerability invites them to do the same. It’s not about displaying a vigorous act of introspective candour; it’s about being relatable.
There is a misguided preconception that talking to a depressed person has a risk of contagion, when actually this perspective is totally neglectful of the long term joys exhalted in human bonding. By talking to someone, you give them permission to accept themselves. If you can help a depressed person to realise that their life is as valuable, intense and beautiful as yours, and you focus solely on that instead of your words, it could be the most valuable conversation of their lives. Give them purpose. If you can, inviting them into your own life by sharing a plan, activity, job or even an insightful or funny story. What they need is meaning, to belong as part of a tribe, as part of groups that pull together. ‘They’ needs to be ‘we’, or ‘us’.
The above notion is about more than just being inclusive. As a social action, new experiences (learning) in fact transpires as a biological reaction, encouraged by stimulating activity in different regions of the brain. The last listed biological cause of depression above, which also occurs as a consequence, is degenerative neuroplasticity - the process of activating new neural pathways to reconfigure the connections of complexed processing. Neurogenesis is the process in which new neurones are created, enabling the slow recovery of damaged areas in the brain, which until as recently as the 90s was not recognised to be possible. It coincidentally occurs only in the hippocampus within the dendrite gyrus at the terminal of a neurone axon, producing proteins to trigger growth. It occurs here specifically so that the new neurones can be encoded with relevant information. Consequentially, this process in itself can actually temporarily distort memory, as the creation of new cells in the hippocampus can force them to be transferred elsewhere. It is said new neurone growth can in fact also be encouraged by the use of some antidepressants, as acknowledged in the treatment of animals with a delayed onset reaction.
Further to this, neurogenesis and increased neuroplasticity can also supposedly be encouraged by finding clarity in your life. You can do this for yourself by setting meaningful goals; outlining your own values and standards and tending to them; prioritising health in both exercise and nutrition, with particular attention to resistance training; adopting a growth mindset and learning new skills; practicing mindfulness; and diligently curating your peer circle to alleviate undue stress. I hate to blow the horn of my own initiatives in such light, but competitive sports in particular really do provide the constructs for most of these activities - it’s in part precisely why I’m here saying these things. Who would have ever guessed that we are indeed our own biological hackers, to some extent?
Today however amongst young people in particular, the lifestyle and values of sportspersons are growing ever more undesirable as we revolve ourselves around the junk values that orientate the consumerist lifestyle. Usually drip fed into our ears and eyes by the image-conscious inducing platforms that consume our psychological down time. Like junk food, junk values do not meet our nutritional needs either. For depressed people of a materialistic nature, the belief that you can buy or acquire your way out of sadness actually leads you to be more likely of becoming increasingly depressed and anxious. Stop looking for happiness in the wrong places! Prioritise your biologically engrained psychological needs and explore your esteem appropriately.
In Zimbabwean culture they use the Shona word ‘kufungisissa’ to describe depression, which literally translates as ‘thinking too much’. In nearby Swahili speaking countries, they use a similar word ‘funga’ which is translated as either ‘locked’ or ‘shut down’. Similar words of shared origins, that when you observe their combined meanings express self condemned imprisonment as a loose correlation.?
The contrast being in Western life we treat patients suffering from such states in a dark and somber room, inviting them to relive their pains and charging them for the privilege of resurfacing traumatic stress. In African cultures they bask you under rich sunlight, evoke your heart rate with the beating rhythms of their music, jump and dance around with you to compel your thoughts away from self deprecation, and crucially give you a purposeful role in the community. But most inspirationally, they utilise village elders as oracles of community leadership - creating a two way beneficiary feedback loop to make real difference in communities. But this is nothing new, nor a deliberate act to alleviate social frictions, it’s just the way it’s always been - and humans have developed accordingly because of this.
When you consider the appropriate relevance of this holistic interaction, it just makes too much sense. Let’s recognise the benefits of age for just a moment … Who were your own grandparents capable of being, for you specifically? If you were fortunate enough to know them. They are those who are always present (unless they’ve had a whiskey, perhaps); they listen empathetically; they share esoteric insight; they talk from experience; they provide evidence based talk therapy; they suggest methods of behaviour activation, or even suitable activity scheduling. Now we have the luxury of extra digital support to ensure consistent connection, there is no excuse for us not to utilise these wonderful people. We do not want to be the generation that drops the baton, failing to pass on their inherited wisdom of foregone generations. In the process of utilising our elders, we would provide a unilateral solution for psychological care across generations, helping to close the colossal skills gap.
Social anthropologist Robin Dunbar of whom I have mentioned in a previous blog, also theorised what’s known as Dunbar’s number - being the optimum size of social circle any one human can maintain consistent relations with. This number is unilaterally relevant, and is inevitably influenced by our social development in tribes on the African Savannah. Humans super power of evolution is our ability to work in groups, it being the means to how we overtook other apex predators in our progressive evolution. We however, are among the first generations to disband our tribes, and now, we are confronting its repercussions.
There are many different approaches you can take to dealing with depression. I am majorly in favour of social prescribing, that being the treatment of social illness is in social remedy. But for some who can tolerate their depression, they learn resistance - finding strength and solidarity in solitude. Not everyone is so fortunate. For me, singing and dancing to occupy the mind and block out the self deprecating internal dialogue is the trick - my weapon of choice being a bit of Perry Como, because Papa Loves the Mambo. I just hope nobody ever has to see that. Depending on who you are and what your obligations may be will dictate your approach, but I can tell you from personal experience - going it alone is very, very hard, and would not have been so fortuitous without a little help from my friends when it was most needed.
Life is a contest of perseverance.
It’s too easy to take the now for granted. We live in the right time,?even if?it doesn’t always feel like it. Be the change. Understand change doesn’t come without discomfort. Embrace patience. Ride the wave. Get your glow back. Then, in time, enjoy the results.
With love.
(I couldn’t stick to just one song this month, so here’s my top 3 for you:)
To me, to you.