V15: Men who have not been fully fucked over by life / by the wrong sort of women, want only 10 things; but do people of all genders need the same !?

Updated at end, Monday 12th January 2020 !!

New section added to end: Who should wear the trousers, and how should we interpret the word 'obey' in an excessively pluralistic, equality-obsessed world !?

See the end of this document for the work of Laura Doyle and other resources ....

See link: www.lauradoyle.org !!

Men who have not been fully fucked over by life / by the wrong sort of women, want only 10 things ....

1. A woman who doesn't burden anyone with her bad moods.
2. A woman who can give and receive feedback without blame.
3. A woman who recovers quickly when it comes to crying over spilt milk.
4. A woman who takes responsibility for her own inadequacies.
5. A woman who takes responsibility for her own actions, instead of bitching, withholding, burying her head in the sand, or downing tools ~ none of these things allowing for any way back.
6. A woman who's always polite, honest and assertive.
7. A woman who never allows her negativity to build / fester.
8. A woman who's never pushy.
9. A woman for whom, IN ALL OTHER AREAS, gives as good as she gets when it comes to fair, reasonable and flexible cooperation / negotiation FOR LASTING COMPROMISE with no recourse to coercion whatsoever ever ~ all parties to say 'NO' to any kind of arrogance, self-righteouness, self-justification, retaliation, and/or pre-emptive strike ~ these are perhaps the hardest bits of all.
10. A woman who recovers quickly, and apologises meaningfully, for all transgressions in any of the above areas !!

The above list may apply to all genders, LGBTQ included.

Notice that all sexual aspects have been removed from the list.

If you're BOTH okay about the sexual side of your relationship, then perhaps all is well enough in all 10 of the above areas for each to relax and get on with the business of being happy alone, in parallel, and together ~ otherwise, in some way, the relationship may be unhealthily one-sided, which is particularly bad for any kids ~ or you're both fucking up in similar, or differing ways, and so you should both stay away from children altogether !!

See also the book "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard F. Harley to achieve the best kinds of balances bewteen you both in all of life's key areas !!

What do you make of my guidance / rules !? ~ in what ways are they similar to, or different from, your own !?

Laura Doyle, G.L. Lambert, Esther Vilar and Martin Camden ....

Laura Doyle helps women to turn their relationships around with no conscious effort from their husbands. Her testimonials virtually all say that her clients have got back the man they married ~ and he didn't even know they were reading her book, or doing one of her courses ~ see "The Empowered Wife", formerly called "First, Kill All Marriage Counsellors" ~ See link: www.lauradoyle.org !!

Laura has NO advice for men ~ it's women who have the power to turn relationships around if only they knew how to do this / if only they weren't so pessimistice / paranoid / averse to risk ~ [not necessarily Laura's own words] !!

Again, Laura, perhaps does not say this, but men can be trained like dolphins or falcons (fun-loving predators), by never damaging their fragile egos ~ and they can be trained by lavishing praise / reward on all small steps in your right directions.

And women can be trained like horses by 'whispering', or by rodeo-style breaking in ~ and women love men who can't be wrapped around their little fingers because said such men have pretty immutable boundaries with clear benefits immediately, and over time ~ mind you both 'good guys' and 'bad guys' can have immutable values, and those who haven't yet firmed up on their boundaries can, in theory, be trained.

Also, all women should read "Men Don't Love Women Like You" by G. L. Lambert, if they wish to avoid the traps of the modern world that will cause all decent men to avoid them / lose interest in them !!

For a full annihilation of female nature, please read the book "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar. This book suggests that there's virtually nothing a woman does, including the way she dresses, uses accessories, and 'wastes' money, that's not got something to do with the manipulative arm-twisting of one or more men. This book is probably too harsh for most women to read, but men should read it for self-defence purposes.

Coach Martin can help anyone of any gender to customise a life-style / relationship-style for themselves and their partners in a world full of ever-expanding choice where many options might not be suitable for you, or for some to all of your loved ones ~ you may be in need of more meaningful bonding, or even 'conscious uncoupling' with a 'healthy breakup blueprint' ~ Coach Martin's input should always be sought ~ see www.martincamden.tv !!

Also worth a read is the book "My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me" by Anne Brecht.

Coach Martin says that men typically go in for an affair when they see themselves as having nothing to lose either way, and possibly much to gain, and out of a sense of the unappreciated worm turning ~ and, again, the wife CAN do something about this if she really wants to, and/or if she can overcome all of her deep-seated culturally-embalmed prejudices.

And I know of one woman who abandoned her whole family in favour of her 'most likely one and only chance of happiness' ~ should this kind of hypergamy be condemned? ~ I think, perhaps, not.

Male and Female Narcissism ~ Different Kettles of Fish?

I'm a heterosexual man, so I think I would come down hard on the side of so perceived 'misogyny' rather than so perceived 'misandry', but these DO both exist, and they're different in nature.

And narcissism can be healthy (beneficial) or unhealthy (toxic), where healthy narcissism (aka healthy extrovertism) can be a boon in all performing arts, and where toxic narcissism just has all its victims confused, and feeling unable to fight back.

I think male narcissism tends to be overt and shameless, and female narcissism tends to be covert and unaware ~ the latter succeeding in staying off most social radars as if it doesn't exist.

I don't tend to have much to do with overt narcissists ~ I don't like them and stay away from them ~ but, once sucked in, 'empathic victims' tend to get in a mess from having weak or insufficient boundaries, arising from having one or more narcissists as parents during childhood.

Up until now, I've got sucked in by covert narcissists, especially in close personal relationships with a woman, but I also seem to be in the middle of a battle with covert narcissist who are ruining all forms of customer service in commerce and industry.

And, to explain how badly the whole information market is skewed, let me tell you that if you Google 'female narcissistic abuse', you get almost exclusively hits on male narcissistic abuse, and therapists who specialise in narcissistic abuse, based on their client base, say that it's much closer to 50/50 no matter what Google says.

And my local police force have a priority of downward pressure on violence against women and girls, where my information says that these days women are just as violent, more likely to start and sustain fights, and more likely to use weapons.

And my local police force says nothing about the female emotional violence that is at the root of more problems than we might like to admit.

Who should wear the trousers, and how should we interpret the word 'obey' in an excessively pluralistic, equality-obsessed world !?

Relationships work where the husband is 'obeyed' (trusted / respected) and the husband is also a terribly decent man ~ but in the modern world neither of these factors can be taken for granted, and a woman who's too subservient will never be a fully happy woman, and any perennial discontent of hers will have a detrimental effect on the whole family ~ and create unhealthy stereotypes for the next generation to mess up even further.

And what might we mean by wives 'obeying their husbands' anyway? ~ as I, for one, wish to be married to an equal, or to someone with her own different and similar valued strengths and weaknesses, and I wish NOT to be married to a pre-programmed slave that has to be disciplined by me too much of the time (too often with limited effect) ~ but nor do I want a wife who sees me as defective when compared with her when it comes to virtually every little or large disagreement, AND also seeing me as comparatively defective when it comes to agreeing the best ways of moving forwards (healthily for all) with regard to all such disagreements ~ such can result in so much stress and timewasting all round, unless the husband submits to becoming her manservant.

With my wife, I'd like her to do as requested, unless she can express temporary inconvenience assertively, as then of course, I can do most things myself (and cheerfully if I feel treasured for most of the time) ~ so long as doing most things myself doesn't become a way of life where her agenda almost always has to take precedence over mine, unless I make a fuss ~ and, even then I don't find it acceptable that I should ever have to risk World War 3, ongoing until I cave in to the female dictator for the sake of peace / family sanity, or until she caves in, but then with her going away to start plotting her revenge ~ (most likely subconsciously, and most likely with the egging-on of undesirable types, and with the normative effects of a fucked up zeitgeist ~ sick media, false prophets, biased counsellors, etc.).

Laura Doyle and Anne Brecht (see above) are refreshing antidotes here, but will their messages ever catch on well enough to make the massive difference that is now sorely needed.

And, G.L. Lambert can certainly explain the pitfalls for women of a zeitgeist meme-set that seems to be becoming rapidly ever more so out of everyone's control, except in Islamic circles where a healthy kind of masculinity is cultivated, and is therefore valued, and not despised, although Islamic boundaries seem to me to be well over-the-top in many cases, especially where it comes to the reigning in of the excesses of some women ~ with the danger of these female excesses going socially viral if not reigned in at all ~ but then there's the feminism backlash (MGTOW, etc.) where everyone ends up a loser.

But, then, what is to be done about the excesses of some to too many men? ~ do Muslims think that this is a lesser evil, or an evil that's less likely to go viral, destroying much of what Islam is supposed to stand for?

And aren't the driving forces here, the zeitgeist exemplification of women, and abuse of all things male from the day they are born, with women being supported in crying their eyes out to get what they want as some kind of universal gift, denied to all things male, and men being endlessly asked to 'man up' / get it right when they are not the only ones at fault here.

And doesn't this all predispose women to a victim mindset just as soon as life gets tough? And, for many men, is this character building, or mind-fucking, or does it make becoming nihilistic, hedonistic, a 'playboy', a 'bad guy', or a criminal more attractive?

And, why do so many women also, end up mentally ill, or turning to a life of antisocial crime, only to be treated by the system with leniency? ~ because they cannot be expected to be as rational / amenable as men?

And why does this whole set up create some REAL misogynistic men (e.g. rapists), instead of the default apoplexy aring from the question ~ why on Earth can't we men get women to treat us a lot better? ~ is this where Laura Doyle comes in? ~ see www.lauradoyle.org !!

And, I see Toxic Capitalism and Toxic Feminism as being at fault ~ each resulting in the destruction of the planet in different ways, and with each feeding on the other.

Toxic Capitalism, aka The Patriarchy, turns us all into slaves, whereas Healthy Capitalism is the servant of the people, and this all in turn depends on fit-for-purpose electoral systems with a level-playing-field for manifestos, instead of the winners being the greater propaganda machines with the greatest financial backing.

Toxic Feminism is that which just ever more so goes too far ~ with women, does absolute power leads to absolute corruption just as much, if not more so, than with men?

Healthy Feminism consists of equal opportunities, and no exploitation of anyone of any age or gender (especially sexually), and SOME DEMOCRATICALLY AGREE EQUALISATION for the real biological necessities of being a man or woman, and NOT for the consequences of self-sabotage, no matter how such behaviours are (unwittingly) acquired.

Also, I think this male-female power dynamic should be moved into the House of Commons / Cabinet, and out of every living room up and down the land by ensuring 50/50 politicians in the House of Commons and Cabinet, with no puppet and/or career politicians as I have mentioned above already.

This could be done easily without any reverse discrimination, and with enhancements to democracy at the same time ~ ask me, Coach Martin, about how to do this.

I have also devised level-playing-field electoral systems designed to address all known objections to electoral reform ~ ask me about these also.

Finally, I know of many successful relationships where it's not obvious who 'wears the trousers'. In these, the wife is savvy and knows how to get the best out of her man, who then really appreciates her in return. Maybe, sometimes, she can be a bit of a 'cow', but she values the relationship so much, and knowing which side her bread is buttered on, she rarely pushes her luck ~ and I'm not saying that men can't be 'bastards' either, but I DO say this can be in self-defense, or even pre-emptive strike self-defense, and not necessarily conscious.

In such relationships, the wife tends to be terribly loyal, and will never speak up or act against her husbands in front of others, even when she believes him to be in the wrong ~ instead she might have a word with him privately about the pros and cons of what went on from both of their viewpoints without getting pushy towards any pre-conceived outcome ~ and I guess that this should be reciprocal also.

Is the ideal relationship between a Laura Doyle wife and a Martin Camden husband, or is there plenty of scope for hybrids inbetween? ~ or is YOUR relationship really one that needs to be sorted out soon?

What sort of relationship is YOURS? What sort of relationship are YOU looking for? Does YOUR ideal partner even exist !?