Using Your Phone For This One Thing Will Make You Happier

Originally published in Change Your Mind-Change Your Life .

If I’m ever in a bad mood, there’s one thing that always brightens me up. This activity also works when I do it with my kids, my wife, my siblings, or my neighbors — it lifts, laughs, and lightens.

It also helps you win the war against the brain’s constant pull toward making life seem humdrum. Brains aren’t naturally good at reminding us how awesome our lives are. They’re good at making awesome lives feel boring. It’s a problem of our own (subconscious) making. And this activity is one of the best shots you’ve got at shaking your brain out of its “life-is-boring” malaise and gaining a deeper sense of happiness.

Where can you get this magic shot-in-the-arm of happiness?

Pull out your phone and open your photos app. Seriously. I’ll wait.

Now, go to a recent memory (probably with friends or family) where you had a good time and scroll through those pictures and videos. Just soak it in and notice how you feel.

“Reminiscing…Is Gratitude On Steroids”

Brains have a bad habit of squashing our happiness. Whenever something good happens, it doesn’t necessarily make us happier in the long run. Whether it’s a raise at work, your child getting into a good school, or the gift of a new friend. Your brain takes that happy change and says, “This is the new normal — nothing to be excited about here.” Our brains don’t have it out for us, they just don’t like surprises. And change is always a surprise, even if it’s a happy change. Once your brain has “normalized” the new happy situation, it’s, well, not so happy anymore. Scientists call this “adaptation,” and it’s one of the main reasons people are so unhappy.

So how do you counteract your brain’s seemingly inevitable slide into “meh”?

Gratitude is one answer and it has been shown to boost our happiness in meaningful ways. (I still keep a daily gratitude journal.) But there’s an intriguing possibility that reminiscing might be even more powerful than gratitude.

Why?

As Dr. Mike Rucker explains in his excellent book, The Fun Habit , “The Positive benefits of gratitude are well-established.” But, he continues, “Gratefully reminiscing about fond memories is gratitude on steroids” (The Fun Habit, p. 71). He goes on to explain that:

“What makes reminiscing through gratitude different from run-of-the-mill gratitude — the standard practice of searching for things to be grateful for — is that it is action-oriented in that we are actively participating in the things for which we are grateful. We celebrate our gains and bask in the agency we have to create things to be grateful for” (The Fun Habit, p. 71, italics mine).

In other words, while gratitude is good (because it reminds us that what is normal is actually wonderful), reminiscing might be something like gratitude +. It’s this reminder — that we can be the creators of the good things in our lives — that gives it that extra psychological boost. Reminiscing reminds us that we are active agents who have the power to create more fun and joy in our lives.

It’s one thing to say, I’m grateful for my eyesight — and yes, reminding myself of that gift does make a difference in my happiness. But when I look at pictures from our epic Saturday Surprise we just had in the mountains this past weekend and gratefully savor the memory, it makes me wonder, “What other fun memories could we create?” It puts me in the driver’s seat of possibility. Reminiscing reminds me that if life feels “meh,” it’s up to me to change that. And that feeling of increased agency gives my motivation system a boost of energy to do it again. This, in turn, creates an upward spiral.

In fact, just two days ago we were coming home from a long trip — two parents, two kids, and one dog in tow after a long cross-country flight. We arrived in Boston with another two-hour drive ahead of us. It was rush hour and we were hungry. And (as there usually is) there was a choice — take the easy, less memorable route of grabbing something quick, or do what we ended up doing, which was driving into Chinatown and eating at an amazing ramen noodle bar .

While the difference may seem small, the fuel to create new memories is generated by reminiscing about old memories. It’s reminding ourselves that we can do it that gives us the psychological boost to actually go do it.

So next time you find yourself griping about screen time or endlessly scrolling on social media, think about your photos app — there may be a happier way to use your phone.

You’ll not only feel better; you might just make a new memory.

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Also published on the?Brain by Design blog ?and?in?Change Your Mind-Change Your Life ?on April 4, 2023.