Using What's Important To Plan Your Life

I was never much of a planner. It seems strange to say that because, on reflection, I feel like I have achieved a lot in my life so far despite this. Was it all a bit harder than it needed to be?

It is remarkably easy to look back and be self critical about all the different ways you could have done things. But this, I believe, is the nature of life. There are a lot of lessons to learn and rather than regret, the best response is to learn, grow and move on.?

My relationship with planning and prioritisation

I was an average student at school. On reflection I feel like I coasted a bit, only really engaging in things that interested me.?

At school I got heavily into rugby. Being entirely honest, I didn't like it initially. I started off playing in a position that I didn't enjoy, and often made excuses for why I didn't want to play.?

As my body grew and developed I moved into positions on the field that suited me a bit better, and as I learned more about rugby my passion for it grew.?

At the peak of my rugby powers I was training several times a week and sometimes playing twice a week. I loved it.?

Rugby was where the majority of my energy went. As a result, school work had minimum possible attention paid to it.?

Why am I telling you about my rugby career in a blog about planning? Well, I carried this single mindedness into my medical career later in life.?

People who work in busy, demanding jobs will often place a lot of their focus into their career. This is not an unusual phenomenon. This is usually to the detriment of some other area of their lives- less time spent with children, family, partners etc.?

I don't subscribe to the belief that we can ‘have it all’. This statement is closely connected to the ‘we all have the same 24 hours in each day’ mantra.?

If you look at the most successful people in the world (and depending on how we define ‘success’) and delve into their lives, I am certain you will see the sacrifices they have made.?

So to hyper simplify, it really comes down to awareness and choices.?

I can easily see now that I was very career focussed when I was a junior doctor.

Things were very different back then though. I had worked hard to become a doctor. I had no family or mortgage. My focus was very much on getting to the end of postgraduate training and becoming a consultant.?

This was a conscious choice that I made.?

Changing priorities

As I got a bit older and into a serious relationship, started a family etc, things changed more than I could ever have imagined.?

There was an almost automatic reshuffling of priorities. Where I would always have put work at the top of the pyramid, family had now replaced it.?

Work remained very important, of course. Being a doctor was the thing that paid the bills, but was also an ingrained part of ‘me’ as a person. But it wasn't the most important thing in my life anymore.?

I got into life planning a few years ago now. When I started working on my personal development I came across a guy called James Boardman.?

JB is an ex-marine sniper. A no nonsense guy who calls it as he sees it, and uses this to help men who have lost their direction in life.?

This was when I started looking at my vision for the future, and working out how to plan towards this. I had never done anything quite like this before, and planning has since become an essential part of how I manage my life.?

And although this planning is done in a balanced way across four pillars- health, business, relationships and personal development- it occurred to me that there might be a slightly different way to balance things.?

When I completed a professional coaching diploma, one of the modules was on identity, values and beliefs. As part of this there was a lot of work on what our own values and identity were.?

It struck me that this could also be used to balance life planning.?

Identity based life planning

There are many ways to skin a cat (apologies to the cat lovers reading this!). I am not advocating that ‘my’ way of planning is the way that you should do it.?

I am a firm believer that people need to find ways that work for them as an individual.?

I have a theory that most people out there don't actually have a firm grip on who they are and what is important to them. This is especially true for the people I tend to work with in the coaching arena, and often manifests as ‘lacking direction’ as well as issues with self doubt and self confidence.?

When you think about it, it actually makes a lot of sense. If you don't know who you are and what is most important to you, you don't know what ‘rules’ you are living life by.?

As a result you will constantly (often unconsciously) be looking around you for guidance and ideas on how to behave.?

This can lead to many years of dissatisfaction, conducting your life in a way that actually doesn't make you all that happy.

Behaving in a way that is not in accordance with your identity and values leads to an uncomfortable feeling of dissonance (i.e.. there is a gap between how you think you should be ‘showing up’ in life and how you actually are).?

I would advocate for taking some time to explore your identity (who you really are) and values (what is most important to you) before getting started with planning your life.?

Once you know the rules, you can start playing the game properly.?

For identity, I recommend spending some time thinking about the various ‘roles’ or ‘pillars’ you play in life. The ones you actually play and the ones that you feel strongly you should be playing.?

For me this includes husband, father, friend, doctor and coach.?

It also includes a non-negotiable pillar that takes account of you as a person. I called this ‘human’ initially, but took some stick in a previous blog post about this, so you can feel free to call it whatever you like. Me, human- something that feels right for you.?

Reflect on this list. Make sure you could explain to someone what each one means and why it is important to you.?

Then, take some time to think about your vision for the future.?

I believe that it is important to have this, so that you know what you are navigating towards. Otherwise everything becomes very reactive in the moment.?

Taking some time to get this vision as clear as possible in your head means you know where you are navigating to.?

Once you have a vision in your head that you are emotionally connected to, one that makes you excited, you can start to build your life around getting there.?

What are the way-points you need to hit along the way between where you are now and where you need/want to be?

This process can be brought right back to the present, where you can plan your life week to week. Ensuring all the time that what you are doing now is in alignment with your future vision.?

It is also important to build a review process into your planning, otherwise there is a danger that it can become planning for planning sake.?

I prefer to review at the beginning/end of each week, and check in with myself midweek to make sure I am on track.?

Zooming out slightly I will check in with my bigger picture plans on a monthly, quarterly and annual basis.?

This allows me to benchmark my progress, making any adjustments necessary.?

I can also use this time to reassess my priorities. Does my vision still get me excited? Does it still seem realistic?

Sometimes these facts are only evident with time.?

That is identity based planning in a nutshell. I have been using this method of planning for some time now, and for me it allows me to plan my life in a more holistic way.

For reasons already described I find this a helpful way to balance my efforts in life, making sure I nourish all aspects of my identity as equally as possible.?

Do you like to plan??

How do you approach planning your life??(do you plan at all?)