Using Occam's Razor Carefully in Our Relationships

If you are on Facebook, then you are familiar with the phrase, "It's complicated." I know people who have applied Occam's Razor to their complicated relationships. In an effort to make things simpler, they "unfriend" the offending person and cut off the difficult relationship matter-of-factly. While there is a time and a place to do so--for example in matters of abuse--some people make it a habit with anyone who simply disagrees with them. Uncritically cutting off relationships allows no room for redemption leaving everyone to still carry the cloud of complexity with them.

Occam's Razor is a very common rule of thumb for scientists and philosophers. However, it has been well abused by others who want to artificially legitimate their own personal views. Many seem to enjoy using it to "prove" just about anything even far outside the bounds of rational inquiry. The basic rule is that when you are faced with two competing theories to explain your observations, all things being equal, choose the simpler theory. Any added complexity is just cut away--thus the razor! 

It would be easy; if we could agree on the meaning of the words "observations," "equal," and "simple". Often, the principle is inaccurately summarized as "the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one." Even with a more critical view, the rule does not actually prove anything. It functions only to shift the burden of proof back to the other party.

Scientific Example
A very common place to teach this principle is in Astronomy. Before telescopes, it was common belief that the Earth was at the center of the universe. The Sun and all the other planets, indeed even the stars, were thought to orbit the Earth.

As more accurate observations were being made, new theories started to emerge. Copernicus suggested that perhaps all of the planets, including the Earth, went around the Sun. Tycho Brahe came up with an alternate solution where the planets orbited the Sun, but the Sun orbited the Earth still. This later view somehow preserved the perceived centrality of the Earth and Mankind for Brahe.

Both theories were brilliant for their time. Both theories equally fit the same data. Even today, Earth centered models are sometimes used to simplify the math as it does appear to us that everything moves around the Earth. Throughout the discussion, everyone had reasons why their solution was "simpler," but only one simplified our greater understanding of what was being observed.

While the telescope would ultimately vindicate Copernicus, what made it a better theory even before wider acceptance was its simplicity. There is one central body in the solar system instead of two. Later, the theory of gravity would more completely explain why that was the case.

Relational Variation
There is a legitimate way to apply Occam's Razor to relationships. It is similar to giving someone "the benefit of the doubt." The opposite reaction would be to suspect a conspiracy. Conspiracies require a lot of planning and do not typically happen to someone with a normal everyday life. People who fall into this trap usually interpret their own life as being all important. Of course, the humorous adage is also true that "Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that they're not out to get you."

I've had difficult times when it was hard to discern who was a friend and who was not--both personally and professionally. While there were many who truly were not, I still found it best not to burn bridges prematurely. I consistently tried to give everyone a chance. The simplest understanding of someone's motive was usually the correct one.

When I did hear something that deeply troubled me, I went to the person who supposedly said it. More often than not, I left convinced that someone else had misrepresented what was said. In all of the gossip and manipulation, things became more difficult and complicated than necessary. When mature people talk to each other, so much can be resolved quickly.

Only in a couple of cases, the person wittingly or unwittingly confirmed the horrible thought or action. Up to that point the burden of proof was on me, and now it shifted back to them. Once admitted, and often without remorse, further constructive conversation was no longer possible by their own decision.

While I am not a fan of conflict, sometimes initiating a difficult discussion is just the right thing to do and will make things easier in the long run. Each success story far outweighs the failures. New simplicity builds us up and promotes greater understanding. We all walk a little straighter, a little taller. So here's to a simpler life as best as we can manage it. Even for serious thinkers, it is important to not think TOO hard. 

What do you hope to simplify?