Using "Me Too!" to Teach Empathy to Children: Building Skills for Delayed Gratification
Mian-Li Ong, PhD
Clinical Child Psychologist | ADHD, Anxiety, Mood and Pain Specialist | Trauma-Informed | APA Presidential Citation 2019 | Co-Founder, HGAPS (501c3)
As a clinical child psychologist, I've discovered a powerful tool for teaching empathy to children when they're frustrated: the phrase "me too!". Young children are still learning how to express their needs in appropriate ways, and often struggle with delayed gratification. I field questions from parents who struggle with handling unrealistic requests from young children - wanting something "RIGHT NOW", not wanting playtime to end... the list goes on and on. Explaining to a child repeatedly why they can't have something tends to create a cycle of frustration and disappointment.
By using "me too!" and displaying enthusiasm and creativity, we can help them develop crucial skills for getting their needs met in healthy ways.
For example, when a young child says, "I want candy. Why can't we have it every day?" a great response is, "Me too! I wish we could build entire houses made of candy and munch on them every day! Imagine having so much candy, what would you do with it?"
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Or, if a teenager expresses frustration at having to stop using TikTok after being having limits set, one great thing to say would be, "Me too -- I know how it sucks being told to stop when I'm having a ton of fun! We gotta get [whatever it is you need to do] done, but let's figure out a plan together - I want you to enjoy your hobbies!"
Through this approach, we model empathy while also encouraging imaginative and collaborative thinking. It's a powerful way to guide children towards understanding the concept of delayed gratification in a fun and engaging manner. Join me in using the "me too!" approach to empower our children with essential skills for navigating frustration and building healthy habits for the future - I'd love to hear about your story!