Useful words to avoid or fix miscommunication issue(s)

Humans are very complex creatures and I have learned (the hard way) that a few words badly picked can lead to miscommunication. For me, this is compounded by the fact that English isn't my first language. So using the wrong words / expression can ultimately prevent getting the desired outcome. When I find myself in these situations, I tend to replay the conversation ad nauseam (well, not quite, but a few times) and wish I'd say this or that instead. There is apparently a French expression, "l'esprit de l'escalier", literally the thoughts of the stairs (bizarrely, I never ever heard this one in France, only heard it in the UK). Essentially, it describes what one thinks after leaving a meeting, while going down the stairs (l'escalier) replaying a conversation. And, doing so, finding better ways to handle a question or specific moment in the conversation. Sadly too late...

What are the experts saying

I've come across an interesting article in the Guardian that explain how to improve communication or even fix instance of miscommunication. You can find the article here. It presents the work of a professor of social interaction (this must be a fascinating job as this is pretty core to humans day to day lives). It suggests a few tweaks to the words we use when presenting / asking things. I particularly like the suggestion to use the verb willing as in: "Would you be willing to...". Apparently, even using willing in a cold emailing and cold calling context increase the likelihood to progress the conversation...

Putting it all in practice...

Of course, there are more words to use and not use mentioned in this article. But as a start, I am going to add "willing" in my sales weaponry. For example, when hitting a wall and not progressing with a prospect. If I perceived there's been a miscommunication issue, one turn of phrase I'll use will be:

"I am conscious I did not express myself most efficiently. And it seems like you have taken the decision not to progress. Would you be willing to block 15 minutes to go through [point discussed]. And if so, do I have a chance to see you change your mind, assuming the reasons I share stack-up?"

As mentioned, humans are complex animals. So I am always keen to hear ways to avoid or resolve miscommunication issues. I am also still trying to get a handle of the local lingo. So if you have some similar, practical insights, do not hesitate to share, I'd appreciate it.

Post initially published in rightsideofthependulum.com