Use your voice it was given to you for a reason

I am a firm believer in speaking up for yourself, your values and your principles. It is not always easy. Perhaps you were born into a family, social circle or religion where you were not encouraged to speak your mind or demonstrate emotion. Well, guess where your personal work will be? Yes to do exactly that.

After years of social conditioning, I was taught to have a submissive approach with those in authority and never to question the rightness of what I was told or taught. At home demonstrating emotion was discouraged, in fact hiding the fact that things were not ok and we were not often a happy “Leave it to Beaver family” was the norm.

As you can well imagine this leads to a whole host of issues stemming from a lack of boundaries to a lot of anger towards myself for not speaking my mind. Assertiveness and having difficult conversations actually helps build your self-esteem and you will gain the respect of those around you.

Certainly, it is a work in progress as you establish boundaries and begin to speak your mind. Speaking up may be initially uncomfortable both for you and those closest to you. You can actually prepare for such conversations in advance. Similar to how you would prepare for an important business meeting, write down the important points you would like to cover with those you need to have discussions with. Take your time and be patient with yourself as you engage in this process. You do not need to take on all the challenges at once. You will find that talking things out actually helps bring you closer to others and those that truly care about you will appreciate your candor and courage.

You may be taken aback by the reaction you receive from some in your world that reject your efforts. Sadly bullies do exist in this world and they enjoy having power over others and exerting it by their emotional abuse and manipulation. The best way to recognize these individuals is the fact they fail to acknowledge a different perspective, how you feel or how the situation affects you. Instead, they will turn things around on you and blame you for the difficulties in the relationship. There is much written on codependency and how people tend to take advantage of those that struggle to speak up and defend themselves. Suffice to say you will need to decide whether it is in your best interests to contribute time and energy into such a relationship. The world is your oyster and there are many people just like you that similarly seek solid and healthy friendships!

Not respecting your inner voice and standing up for your soul’s truth leads to many issues such as frustration, depression and low self-esteem. I have read about how various emotional conditions affect our body and one, in particular, is not using our voice as an outlet of expression. For years I did not understand why I had frequent sore throats, strep throat infections, and tonsillitis. It is only recently I learned of the correlation between throat health and using our voice to speak up and address our concerns. I wonder if it was the years of holding back what needed to be said and not defending myself when I experienced religious oppression that led to the health issues I encountered. I am happy to say that I rarely have sore throats now. In fact, I began to practice speaking my truth in various ways in both my personal and professional life. Thankfully after leaving the religion and years of keeping silent I now have no problem vocally expressing what is on my mind and heart.

There is no greater liberation than speaking your truth and picking the right moment to do so. Finding my voice was one of the greatest gifts I gave myself. The permission to move beyond the passive, submissive woman that always had a point of view but kept it to herself, to now being one who speaks her mind. Not everyone may appreciate your perspective, your message may not always be a welcome one to the listener but it is essential to know when to speak up. This world needs more people to voice objection to oppression, racism, discrimination, and hatred, in fact, it gives courage to those who keep silent. We do not need to state the many examples in history where people remained silent while atrocities were committed on the marginalized, vulnerable and less fortunate. We owe it to future generations to speak up when our heart moves us to with the hope that together we can contribute to a world that is tolerant, compassionate and welcoming of the beauty in diversity. Using your voice is not only good for your health, you were given one to use responsibly.